Name changed, because I will share personal history here.
OP we think of abuse as extreme, as being thrown across a room, punched, screamed at.
In the beginning, of course it's not like that. In the beginning, as many here have said, it's usually a highly compelling relationship, exceptionally wonderful. He may be really charming. He may have interests that align with yours so closely that it's almost spooky!
He may have fascinating backstory. Has he suffered greatly? He may not want to get involved with you, really, but he just can't help himself. An abuser will basically be whatever he works out you want him to be - he'll use lines and ideas to reel you in.
At times. At other times, he'll be inexplicably otherwise. Partly because 'hot and cold' and unpredictability is a great way to get someone hooked. Partly because probably it's hard to sustain an act.
It takes time. I think it took three years before my abusive ex hit me. Before he hit me, I wouldn't have said he was abusive. Troubled, jealous, intense, passionate, complicated, confused, yes. But not abusive. The problems were mine. I was down, depressed, unsure, fickle, weird, unstable, spoiled, whatever. He reassured me that yes, the problems were all me and mine and in my head.
Of course the thing is, he was abusive all along. He broke off bits of me until there was fuck all left. Only then did he really attack me physically. By that point, the physical abuse was really neither here nor there, I wasn't myself. I had been undermined, confused, gaslit, controlled and coerced and stripped of agency so much that I had no idea what was up and what was down. I lived according to his moods, his thoughts, his ideas. In some ways, hitting me was a gift, because it finally revealed the problem - that he was a violent, abusive, rapey bastard.
It was also the worst experience of my life, and I still to this day 20 years later sometimes have nightmares that I'm still with him.
It's wholly up to you, OP, what you do. Of course it is. Often it takes women up to seven times to leave their abuser, and from the sounds of it you're still in the honeymoon stage. You can see reasons to stay, and no good reasons to walk away.
I just want you to know that abuse is by its nature a tricky thing to recognise; and by the time we can recognise it, a difficult thing to escape. I was controlled, abused, and for a good three years, I'd have argued to my friends, and myself, just as you are doing here and now, that all was fine and I could leave any time.
It's only afterwards that I can see what happened. It's quite chlling now to read accounts of abuse and see it all laid out like a particularly fucking predictable story. He never was romantic, or charming, or exceptional. He was a common or garden arsehole, just another abuser.
I've spent fifteen minutes trying to explain all this history to you because I think there is a small part of you that knows, deep down, that something is off.
OP you don't have to listen to this man, or his ex partners, or me, or anyone on this board.
Listen to the voice in you that has prompted questions. Please don't lose touch with that voice.
Sorry for the essay. Take care.