Uninvited to a wedding for asking a question

[mrshiddleston69]

Hi I'll try to be brief.
I have a friend, we met when we were both living overseas 7 years ago. We became really close and moved back to our home country within months of eachother. Although we live in different cities we kept in touch, occasionally spending a night or two at eachothers house some weekends and she even spent 2 Christmases with me and my family when she was single .
She is getting married next year and in July 2022, her and her fiancé called me and asked if my DD could be a flower girl at their destination wedding. ofcourse both me and DD (8) were delighted.
A few weeks down the line she mentioned in passing in a conversation that it was a 'no children allowed wedding'. And I took this to mean my 2 year old DS wouldn't be allowed and I wasn't planning on taking him anyway so I thought nothing of this. My DH then made a comment about his come DD was invited but not DS as friend is his mother to DS. I said it's their wedding their choice. But it nagged me so I asked my friend. She became really defensive and it was during this conversation that I learned that 'no children' meant even DD was no longer invited as a flower girl to the wedding and I had totally missed her subtle hint earlier. So i asked why they hadn't called to tell DD that she was no longer a flower girl, same way as they had done when they asked her. I said I was totally okay with coming on my own, I actually preferred it and was so excited for them. I mentioned that we've been to many weddings where kids are not allowed and we've always found a sitter. But because this was a destination wedding I was going to come on my own and DH was okay with that.
A few minutes later I got a phone call from friend and fiancé saying I had really pressed the 'no kids' issue too far and was causing stress. I didn't see it that way and said I was seeking clarity because I hadn't realised the policy had changed.
She was upset and unfriended me on FB, Instagram and blocked me on WhatsApp.
I was very hurt, I sent her an email apologising and then I blocked her on everything.
I've never fallen out with anyone like this so I'm not sure what to do. Should I seek her out again and apologise? This all happened in August. Or is it safe to assume she doesn't want me in her life anymore?

Thanks

It was a horrible thing to do to a child! You don’t need her in your life! Weddings are stressful, I know, but she could have thought what she was doing to your little one.

She sounds like a selfish, inconsiderate woman. You said sorry - her sort probably thinks you SHOULD have apologised for asking for details!

You’re lucky to be free of her!

“Not the first time she did this, a few years back my ex hit me over the head and took my phone and I asked her to lock my phone using the find my iPhone feature. She emailed me the next day to say that I had caused her so much stress and didn't talk to me for a year”

Are you *%#ing joking? You get bludgeoned and she complains about stress^? I can’t believe you gave her a second chance. Let me also add: “destination wedding”? There’s a red flag about self-centredness, narcissism and a sense of entitlement right there.

This 👆🏼😂

She sounds fucking batshit.

OP, friends don’t treat you like this. And what an awful way to treat your DD!

She sounds a complete knob and I think this ‘friendship’ is very one sided and has run its course.

@zingally I'll do just that!

I wonder if she thought that having a child free wedding would mean you wouldn't go...and by saying you would still, messed up her guest list.

Hence the over reaction by her

Some brides are such control freaks, they become narcissistic. I’d bin her off as a friend. She’s an ungrateful cow.

Wow this bride sounds awful! So bad of her to ask your 8 year old to be a flower girl, then back track, then have a go at you for asking a question and block you on social media etc. If my "friend" did this, I would cut her out of my life, don't apologise.

@iRun2eatCake
You could be right! For the longest time she kept telling me about how the option was there for me to attend the wedding ceremony at the court in the city where she lives before the actual ceremony in case I couldn't afford to go to the destination one. Looking back these were not subtle hints. I don't think I made the guest list and she couldn't come right out and tell me. I kept insisting that there was no way I would miss the destination wedding and I was definitely going to make it. So me asking about the child free aspect was the ammunition she needed.

Nor me. Tbh Bridezilla sounds like a fruit-loop.🙄

She's been a bit of a coward, there. And a lot of a cow!

What an awful thing to do, to ask a child to be involved in their wedding then make a general 'no kids' rule and expect you to just get the message, not ask for clarity and break it to your child yourself that she's no longer involved!!

I'd see losing a person like that as no loss. She sounds utterly self absorbed!

Why do some people act like arseholes over a wedding?! It's so weird.

Oh God.

A bit of my soul just died from the pure cringe of that.

Fucking canoes!!! Jeeeezus.

I've googled some odd things in my time, but 'weddings with canoes' is right up there.

I had a "friend" who was gas lighting drama queen... she went completely over the top about something I said then tried to turn it all onto me. In fact she got really nasty & personal. A few days later she messaged me to say she did it because "you always hurt the ones you love the most" but there was no sincerity or apology. I blocked her & that was that.
Your friend has treated you & your daughter appallingly & is completely batshit. I wouldn't bother with her again.

She is outrageous.
You sent her an email and then blocked her?! This is also ridiculous.

This woman was totally in the wrong. She basically didn't want to take responsibility for her actions, and so put the blame on you. Write her off and move on with your life.

Drop that bitch like a bad habit..

I'm pmsl at the canoes, so many visions 😂😂

She sounds like a king size arsehole. With her past behaviour I’m surprised that you’re still friends with her anyway.

If this is the wedding plan, imagine the baby shower….Seriously, this has to be a wind up?? No bride gets in a blinking canoe - if she’s ‘that relaxed’, then kids surely wouldn’t be a problem. This has to be a wind up.

Sounds wedding from hell. Canoes? Why can’t anyone get married and have the reception in a pub anymore. You’ve dodged a bullet there

Canoes? 😂

Who the fuck is going to want to be climbing in and out of a canoe dressed up to the nines in their posh frock? They’re not the easiest things to get in and out of as it is, never mind in heels and a dress! She’s batshit.

No can do with the canoe.

Loving this as an RSVP 😂

😂

Underrated comment. I laughed.

Good grief. That's a no from me 😄

You have escaped one of the worst Bridezillas I have ever heard of!! Its tough she has cut you off for no real reason but when someone tells you who they are you need to listen and let it go