Uninvited to a wedding for asking a question

[mrshiddleston69]

Hi I'll try to be brief.
I have a friend, we met when we were both living overseas 7 years ago. We became really close and moved back to our home country within months of eachother. Although we live in different cities we kept in touch, occasionally spending a night or two at eachothers house some weekends and she even spent 2 Christmases with me and my family when she was single .
She is getting married next year and in July 2022, her and her fiancé called me and asked if my DD could be a flower girl at their destination wedding. ofcourse both me and DD (8) were delighted.
A few weeks down the line she mentioned in passing in a conversation that it was a 'no children allowed wedding'. And I took this to mean my 2 year old DS wouldn't be allowed and I wasn't planning on taking him anyway so I thought nothing of this. My DH then made a comment about his come DD was invited but not DS as friend is his mother to DS. I said it's their wedding their choice. But it nagged me so I asked my friend. She became really defensive and it was during this conversation that I learned that 'no children' meant even DD was no longer invited as a flower girl to the wedding and I had totally missed her subtle hint earlier. So i asked why they hadn't called to tell DD that she was no longer a flower girl, same way as they had done when they asked her. I said I was totally okay with coming on my own, I actually preferred it and was so excited for them. I mentioned that we've been to many weddings where kids are not allowed and we've always found a sitter. But because this was a destination wedding I was going to come on my own and DH was okay with that.
A few minutes later I got a phone call from friend and fiancé saying I had really pressed the 'no kids' issue too far and was causing stress. I didn't see it that way and said I was seeking clarity because I hadn't realised the policy had changed.
She was upset and unfriended me on FB, Instagram and blocked me on WhatsApp.
I was very hurt, I sent her an email apologising and then I blocked her on everything.
I've never fallen out with anyone like this so I'm not sure what to do. Should I seek her out again and apologise? This all happened in August. Or is it safe to assume she doesn't want me in her life anymore?

Thanks

Fancy doing that to your child...it's unforgivable. It sounds like all this OTT wedding planning has pushed her over the edge of reason Or niceness.

I wouldn't let her back into your life. That update about asking her to lock your phone and her treating your safety as an inconvenience and beratng you for it shows exactly who she is.

Often, when we have abusive partners, we have friends cut from the same cloth.

She threw a strop because you questioned the morality of her behaviour. You implied she had to behave in a moral way towards your kid and she had no interest in doing so. She also may not want you at the destination wedding bevause she's told you some sort of lie that would come out. Or because she has lied to others about something you know the truth of. Eg: his family about her background.

A few days before I think.
That proves she's very sneaky. She didn't have the decency to tell you face to face. Call this the end of a blank friendship. Sorry. Give hug to DD from me.

As an aside, I think she should be offering your Dd a considerable treat to make up - I’m thinking a weekend at Disneyland Paris - but of course she won’t because her ridiculous wedding is the only thing that matters.

Sounds hideous. A recipe for disaster. Unless 'canoe' is somehow code for 'boat with steps and seats and things that make it easy to get in and out of whilst wearing nice wedding attire' then I'd say you dodged a bullet there.

Sounds like a wedding from selling sunset. Sounds like your well rid.

Oh my goodness. You've done absolutely nothing wrong to deserve this treatment, but you might consider taking this as an opportunity to dodge future bullets that this friend of yours would likely have no qualms about aiming at you. Your "friend" asked your 8 year old to be a part of her wedding party. Then she changed her mind about having any children at all in attendance, in any capacity. In seems pretty clear that the bride doesn't have the moral stamina required to both fire and uninvite that same little girl that she had personally invited to be a part of her big day. Instead, she thought it would be okay if she just dropped a casual comment into a conversation (wink, wink, hint, hint), hoping that you'd do her job for her. You had a couple of perfectly understandable questions about this little comment of hers, questions that arose out of her purposefully being non-transparent about what she was really trying to say. Cue Bridezilla's meltdown which, in case you weren't clear on, is the only actual drama playing out in this scenario. Despite the disappointment, at the end of the day I think it's safe to say that you win.

I can't believe you would even entertain apologising to her. Her attitude stinks and I wouldn't demean myself by getting in touch. Any contact from her would be met with 'Not interested - no further contact'
She may try to lure you back to tell you about the wedding and so you can see the photos on FB, but ignore. She's no friend.

Get rid of this ridiculous woman out of your life, this is a golden opportunity to do so. I just read the post about asking her to lock your iPhone and her stupid overreaction. Do something cute with your little girl instead and forget this idiot.

Do you have mutual friends? Will you be able to avoid her in future?

Canoes🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sounds like something they sell you as being romantic but in reality is a time wasting pita
Who wants to get their clothes wet.
Canoes always have as bit of water in the bottom. Even gondolas aren’t the driest mode of transportation
People will be arriving at the wedding venue looking like they are in need of adult diapers

Good riddance is what I say

sorry, but i hope her canoe/boat whatever it is capsizes and she ends up in the river in her wedding dress. cheeky cow

Any update OP? Did the canoes get attacked by killer bees/whales/heels? Has she come crawling back yet? Has her new DH filed for divorce?

No loss as a friend I'd say.