I’ve been with DH 16 years and we have two DC 5 and 2. He was a big drinker when we got together, I am not. Very much a glass at xmas, birthdays and some special occasions person. Never thought much of it. Lots of our friends were big drinkers, my parents are a bottle of wine with dinner people. One of the reasons I don’t really drink is I can remember my mum getting so trashed she would pick verbal fights and I have held her hair when she vomited. The pandemic hit my husband hard. Unbeknownst to me he was secretly drinking whisky. It all came out when I was pregnant and I left for awhile but came back. And left and came back. When he’s sober he is a good and loving partner and father though a lot of that has gone by the way. I don’t let him drive us or have the DC alone. But it seems he was still drinking. He was recently hospitalised and has been diagnosed with stage three cirrhosis. In his mid thirties. Median survival is 12 years and I am furious. I have no good options through no fault of my own. I loved him so much and it seems like I can leave him and watch him die young or stay with him and watch him die young. He’s made supreme efforts this xmas and I can only think it’s cos he knows this too. I am devastated. Please be kind, I’m trying to reckon with my life falling down around my ears but keep a smile for Christmas.