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Original poster

An electrician has been doing jobs in my house and I felt there was some chemistry between us. Now wondering if I should contact him again or leave it

182 replies

Asparkwasfelt · 21/12/2022 22:43

Within the last month, an electrician has been over at my house to do a couple of jobs. His second visit was yesterday, and the work itself is now completely sorted and paid for. I'm happy on that front. As you can probably surmise from the fact I'm posting about him in relationships, I felt there was some connection between us and I'm wondering what I should do. After he finished the job, we were chatting for a good 20 minutes. While this was happening, I was smiling like a Cheshire cat and trying (and probably failing) not to give the impression of being an excited teenager with a crush. He was smiling a lot himself during the conversation. I asked him if he has a partner and he said he hasn't. Before he left, he said I should call or text him to let him know if I need anything else. I told him I would. I know tradesmen are supposed to be friendly and polite, but the way he said it seemed flirty. It seemed like he meant more than just to contact him if I need any more jobs done around the house.

I think he's very attractive. I fancied him a bit after the first visit, now I fancy him even more. I'm single with no DCs myself. If I had to guess I would say he is mid-30s. If I do text him, what should I say? Do you think it's too soon or should I wait a bit until after Christmas?

OP posts:
MsFogi · 22/12/2022 11:13

Is no one else getting flashbacks to Julia with the builder in Motherland?

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 11:16

Why do people think attractive men are going to be flattered and not annoyed by women hitting on them when they are just going about their livelihood? Are they supposed to be flattered just because we're women?

VeryMoist · 22/12/2022 11:21

@HotChoxs Or the flirting could be his modus operandi in getting repeat customers and good reviews. Certainly knew of several men do this, a gardener, a window cleaner, a mechanic and even a private doctor. Flattery, compliments thinly walking the line between friendly flirting and inappropriateness.

I would say the professional is the creep in such situations as the expectations are higher of them since this is their livelihood.

Women are often advised on here not to be too nice or friendly when they are surprised by a man asking them out seemingly out of the blue because men misconstrue the friendliness as a come on. I think women are more likely to brush off flirting from men as simply niceness and politeness than vice versa.

If he was genuinely just friendly and finds customers hitting on him repeatedly then maybe he should rain it in a bit. What's the saying? If it's once they are the issue, if it always happens to you you are the issue or something to this effect.

AtomicRitual · 22/12/2022 11:27

Do it!

"Hi X. Thanks again for fixing Y.

Apologies if this is a bit forward, but I was wondering if you'd like to go out for a drink sometime? No worries if not, I just really enjoyed our chat the other day."

Only consideration is, if he says no, will you need to find a new sparky?!

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 11:31

VeryMoist · 22/12/2022 11:21

@HotChoxs Or the flirting could be his modus operandi in getting repeat customers and good reviews. Certainly knew of several men do this, a gardener, a window cleaner, a mechanic and even a private doctor. Flattery, compliments thinly walking the line between friendly flirting and inappropriateness.

I would say the professional is the creep in such situations as the expectations are higher of them since this is their livelihood.

Women are often advised on here not to be too nice or friendly when they are surprised by a man asking them out seemingly out of the blue because men misconstrue the friendliness as a come on. I think women are more likely to brush off flirting from men as simply niceness and politeness than vice versa.

If he was genuinely just friendly and finds customers hitting on him repeatedly then maybe he should rain it in a bit. What's the saying? If it's once they are the issue, if it always happens to you you are the issue or something to this effect.

or he wasn't being flirty and was just being friendly

CovertImage · 22/12/2022 11:33

I sort of agree with @HotChoxs but also think that - outside OLD - how does anyone ever know we're attracted to them unless we tell them?

CovertImage · 22/12/2022 11:33

CovertImage · 22/12/2022 11:33

I sort of agree with @HotChoxs but also think that - outside OLD - how does anyone ever know we're attracted to them unless we tell them?

By "we" I mean women and men

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 11:36

CovertImage · 22/12/2022 11:33

I sort of agree with @HotChoxs but also think that - outside OLD - how does anyone ever know we're attracted to them unless we tell them?

That's the guantlet men run though isn't it.
I think the OP should take the risk but be aware that she could just be a lonely person making things up in her head. That's what men do all the time.

Isittrueornot · 22/12/2022 11:39

Has he text back yet?

FfaCoffi · 22/12/2022 11:46

Good luck OP! I hope you get a good response.

VeryMoist · 22/12/2022 11:49

If he was just friendly, I'm sure he can put his big boy boxers and turn her down. If his friendliness keeps getting misinterpreted, then he is overdoing it and giving women the wrong impression and should review his mannerisms. Women have to do this all the time with men.
Equality isn't to treat everyone the same, it's taking into account their differences and bridging it. I doubt the electrician feels creeped out, let's not be disingenuous here for the sake of a faux anti-sexism crusade. He will be at least flattered.

2020firsttimemum · 22/12/2022 11:54

Following as I'm invested to see if he replies!

Not sure why you text him so late OP but good for you for taking the plunge!

Keeping fingers crossed for you

minticecreamisjustok · 22/12/2022 11:56

I don't think it's a good idea, you are paying him for the service, of course he's going to be nice to you, a friendly chat is part of the job. If he is single he will probably be on tinder so look there first.

Insideknowledge · 22/12/2022 12:04

Ok a bit of insider knowledge

My DH is an electrician and has a few men working for him

They s#it themselves when customers leave knickers around, follow them into rooms, get changed in front of them.

They dare each other to go in to do the job (the actual electrical job for clarity). Sexual harrassment can happen to men too. However, I'd say they don't feel threatened per se, just alarmed and take the p out the situation.

However,nothing wrong with asking after the job is finished and paid for.

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 12:41

VeryMoist · 22/12/2022 11:49

If he was just friendly, I'm sure he can put his big boy boxers and turn her down. If his friendliness keeps getting misinterpreted, then he is overdoing it and giving women the wrong impression and should review his mannerisms. Women have to do this all the time with men.
Equality isn't to treat everyone the same, it's taking into account their differences and bridging it. I doubt the electrician feels creeped out, let's not be disingenuous here for the sake of a faux anti-sexism crusade. He will be at least flattered.

Goodness me, big boy pants and victim blaming. That's equality for you

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 12:43

@VeryMoist
Do you want him to moderate what he wears as well in case he gives off the wrong impression. can't see why he can't just do his job and be left alone

TheDuchessOfMN · 22/12/2022 12:48

Wow OP, you’re brave and forward. I wouldn’t have said the part about the connection between you, but I think you did the right thing in texting.
He can leave you down gently if he’s not interested, no big deal.

ScroogeMcDuckling · 22/12/2022 13:09

r u going out for drinks with friends or colleagues before Christmas or New Year

if you are, ask him to be your plus one if that’s not a dated phrase

Good Luck xxxx

HaggisBurger · 22/12/2022 13:26

Hope he’s texted back??

I really don’t think in either case (a man or a woman) asking respectfully if someone would like to go for a drink even approaches sexual harassment. Dear goodness if this what we’ve come to. People meet through all sorts of encounters.

Slinking about in her silk dressing gown whilst he’s working, engaging in inappropriate sexual talk or what not whilst he’s in the house. Yes inappropriate.

For him, a man working in a woman’s home the boundaries of propriety are higher for obvious reasons of safety. But if an electrician worked in my house finished up and then texted asking for a date I’d be flattered and either say yes or no depending on whether I liked him. Easy.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 22/12/2022 13:44

It's like of things worked out in motherland with Garry the plumber!

Hope you get a nice text back OP

WillowintheUK · 23/12/2022 11:10

I reckon OP’s had a knock back.

Isittrueornot · 23/12/2022 12:54

Did he not text back? Don’t worry op, you can’t win them all.

bevelino · 23/12/2022 14:21

LuluBlakey1 · 21/12/2022 22:59

Is this Motherland? Is he called Gary?

This

😂😂😂

Lemonlady22 · 23/12/2022 14:23

He’s not the electrician from a previous thread who had his own blanket is it?

Willowswood · 23/12/2022 14:58

Any updates?

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