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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

An electrician has been doing jobs in my house and I felt there was some chemistry between us. Now wondering if I should contact him again or leave it

182 replies

Asparkwasfelt · 21/12/2022 22:43

Within the last month, an electrician has been over at my house to do a couple of jobs. His second visit was yesterday, and the work itself is now completely sorted and paid for. I'm happy on that front. As you can probably surmise from the fact I'm posting about him in relationships, I felt there was some connection between us and I'm wondering what I should do. After he finished the job, we were chatting for a good 20 minutes. While this was happening, I was smiling like a Cheshire cat and trying (and probably failing) not to give the impression of being an excited teenager with a crush. He was smiling a lot himself during the conversation. I asked him if he has a partner and he said he hasn't. Before he left, he said I should call or text him to let him know if I need anything else. I told him I would. I know tradesmen are supposed to be friendly and polite, but the way he said it seemed flirty. It seemed like he meant more than just to contact him if I need any more jobs done around the house.

I think he's very attractive. I fancied him a bit after the first visit, now I fancy him even more. I'm single with no DCs myself. If I had to guess I would say he is mid-30s. If I do text him, what should I say? Do you think it's too soon or should I wait a bit until after Christmas?

OP posts:
DunkingMyDonuts · 22/12/2022 06:31

Sparkletackle · 22/12/2022 06:02

Omg OP

I know there was alot of encouragement, but it's 00.51 in the morning!!

Maybe OP isn't in the UK and it was 00.51 there

DunkingMyDonuts · 22/12/2022 06:32

wasn't

BCBird · 22/12/2022 06:33

Go for it🙂

NoNoKimono · 22/12/2022 06:36

I guess at that time, if there is a partner or wife, she will have noticed the text. So it gets that potential issue dealt with straight away

BCBird · 22/12/2022 06:38

Let us know. As for it being 0:51,maybe he doesn't leave his fone on,I don't. Best u contacted him because as a trades person in your house it a delicate line. If he is too flirty it could have implications for his job. Good luck.

nancydroo · 22/12/2022 06:39

Oh my goodness you text him 🤦🏼‍♀️ hope he's nice and not a Jack the lad

Happydayswillcomeagain · 22/12/2022 08:20

Aww you messaged OP- excited for you! Let us know what he says xxx

Happydayswillcomeagain · 22/12/2022 08:20

Saw not awww!

BorisJohnsonsHair · 22/12/2022 08:47

Your namechange doesn't seem to have worked OP.

dalmation4046 · 22/12/2022 08:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ladydimitrescu · 22/12/2022 08:51

Shameless place mark

JackandVera · 22/12/2022 09:18

BorisJohnsonsHair · 22/12/2022 08:47

Your namechange doesn't seem to have worked OP.

Yet a very similar name ...

VeryMoist · 22/12/2022 09:20

I wouldn't trust a man who picks up women through work. So unprofessional and I'd always wonder what he's getting up to at work. Classic porn scenario, tradesman shagging lonely housewife. At least he's not a gardener or a plumber 😉

Hatemymiddlename · 22/12/2022 09:39

Hope you get to go for a drink OP

Selinaserena · 22/12/2022 09:50

Don't do it. You'll make a fool of yourself. Sorry.

Lottapianos · 22/12/2022 09:57

Well done OP - keep us posted!

TheFormidableMrsC · 22/12/2022 10:00

I was in this exact situation, also with an electrician, and I did text! He was a decade younger than me but it led to a FWB situation which absolutely suited us both and lasted for 6 years! We had a lot of fun and no regrets. Go for it.

Charlize43 · 22/12/2022 10:06

Good luck! Please let us know what happens.

Deedippy · 22/12/2022 10:15

Absolutely do it and then keep us updated

pastypirate · 22/12/2022 10:45

Invested!

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 10:54

If a man did this it would be creepy.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 22/12/2022 11:03

Why on earth shouldn’t a woman do this? Lots of men don’t want to take the first step these days in case they’re accused of sexual harassment.

VeryMoist · 22/12/2022 11:08

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 10:54

If a man did this it would be creepy.

Of course it would and that's why he left the ball in her court.

I wouldn't have texted him as I'm thick as pig shit when it comes to reading body language and hints but looking back men in more powerful positions or in a professional context tended to do this with me when I was young and attractive. They would hint, the puppy dog eyes, the smile, the holding look into my eyes a little too long, giving me an opening with their contact details or some unnecessary text post business or about something trivial but in hindsight it was an opening for me. Waste on me as I only got it about a decade later.

So men skirting around hoping the woman initiates happens whenever it's likely the man will come across as a creep if he were to initiate something. This is more so with the awareness and social media conversation around #metoo.

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 11:09

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 22/12/2022 11:03

Why on earth shouldn’t a woman do this? Lots of men don’t want to take the first step these days in case they’re accused of sexual harassment.

what if the electrician keeps getting this off customers, and keeps losing custom?
why is it acceptable for a woman to cross the boundary of someones livelihood, but when men do it we point out how inaporopriate it is?

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 11:10

VeryMoist · 22/12/2022 11:08

Of course it would and that's why he left the ball in her court.

I wouldn't have texted him as I'm thick as pig shit when it comes to reading body language and hints but looking back men in more powerful positions or in a professional context tended to do this with me when I was young and attractive. They would hint, the puppy dog eyes, the smile, the holding look into my eyes a little too long, giving me an opening with their contact details or some unnecessary text post business or about something trivial but in hindsight it was an opening for me. Waste on me as I only got it about a decade later.

So men skirting around hoping the woman initiates happens whenever it's likely the man will come across as a creep if he were to initiate something. This is more so with the awareness and social media conversation around #metoo.

He didn't leave anything in her court. He told her on a professional level to get in touch if she needed more electrical work. The flirting could be in her head.

It's creepy, don't try and justify it.

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