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Original poster

Could you date a man who has gone to a strip club?

188 replies

CantAskAnyoneElse · 16/12/2022 21:08

That’s pretty much it.

I’ve been asked out by a friend (man) and I’m not sure if I feel that way about him, he’s nuce enough and I was thinking about it.
But then I remembered how he has said he’s been in some strip clubs in his time.
He seemed pretty happy about those memories, but it just gives me gross feeling.

I know everyone has different standards, but I’m a feminist type, and I don’t think it’s going to be something I’ll be okey with.

It’s a bad idea, right?

OP posts:
C1N1C · 17/12/2022 18:49

PrincessConstance · 17/12/2022 18:16

Why is it a trap?

Show quote history

Sorry, star wars quote. Most guys wouldn't say yes to that when asked by a spouse as they'll feel it's a loaded question.

Same as "do you find my friend 'x' attractive", "have I gained weight"... there's only one e right answer to save the can of worms. (Partially joking but partially true!)

mckipley · 08/04/2023 14:11

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MissingMoominMamma · 08/04/2023 14:13

Not for me.

sladys · 08/04/2023 14:17

I think it would be hard to find a man who has not been to a strip club on occasion, eg stag dos etc.
Not something I'd love but not a massive red flag or dealbreaker.

However a man who volunteers to have been to a "fair few strip clubs" over the years and looks back fondly on it - massive ick. The fact this has even come up and he's almost boasting about it would be extremely off putting to me. Sounds li a regular occurence

Original poster
CantAskAnyoneElse · 08/04/2023 14:27

Holy crap!
I totally forget I made this thread and now re-read this and was again dissapointed how low standards people have!

OP posts:
EmmaGrundyForPM · 08/04/2023 14:46

sladys · 08/04/2023 14:17

I think it would be hard to find a man who has not been to a strip club on occasion, eg stag dos etc.
Not something I'd love but not a massive red flag or dealbreaker.

However a man who volunteers to have been to a "fair few strip clubs" over the years and looks back fondly on it - massive ick. The fact this has even come up and he's almost boasting about it would be extremely off putting to me. Sounds li a regular occurence

My dh has never been to a strip club. I'm fairly certain most of my friends husbands haven't either

Schmutter · 08/04/2023 14:49

I am drawn to intelligent men who don't objectify women. So no.

Greenfairydust · 08/04/2023 16:02

I wonder how many of the women commenting are dating men who they don't realise have been to strip clubs...

Most will keep it quiet.

But with stag dos abroad, corporate night outs (I used to work in the City in the 90s and there were lots of strip clubs around that area and it was common for guys in the financial and legal industries to frequent these venues) and so on I would bet that quite a few men have had that experience in life which their girlfriends/wives might not be aware of.

OP I would assess him on his current behaviour, not on what might have happened in the past.

I am a feminist but I also accept there are very few men around who have never looked at porn or have never walked into a strip club.

Greenfairydust · 08/04/2023 16:03

I just read your latest update.

Incredibly judgemental I would say.

Zanatdy · 08/04/2023 16:06

It wouldn’t bother me. But as you say everyone has a different view

QueefQueen80s · 08/04/2023 17:53

Nope. Men who think women are objects to pay for are grim.

JMSA · 08/04/2023 18:18

Cheesecheeserson · 16/12/2022 21:11

Does not bode well for how he’ll treat you and approach the relationship. Studies show that men who engage in prostitution are more likely to rape.

This level of leap is frankly nuts.

Luckydip1 · 08/04/2023 18:20

Going to a strip club on a stag do is one thing, going alone is quite another...

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 08/04/2023 21:00

It would be more weird if he'd never been to one. Even I've been to one when I was young to see what it's was all about. As long as he isn't a regular and isn't going to do that now I don't see the issue

Spck · 08/04/2023 21:01

Absolutely not

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 08/04/2023 21:35

I’m guessing OP you have never been in a strip club or some to people who work in one?

You’re very judgemental if you haven’t and not at all what I would call a feminist. If a female wants to work in one that’s completely her choice and her right to do so. If a man wants to go and waste his money on someone who won’t remember him an hour later that’s his choice too.

Redebs · 08/04/2023 21:38

Nobody accidentally goes to a strip club.
I would avoid him

Aussiegirl123456 · 09/04/2023 01:36

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 08/04/2023 21:35

I’m guessing OP you have never been in a strip club or some to people who work in one?

You’re very judgemental if you haven’t and not at all what I would call a feminist. If a female wants to work in one that’s completely her choice and her right to do so. If a man wants to go and waste his money on someone who won’t remember him an hour later that’s his choice too.

I used to work in one.
Despite what I and my fellow dancers said at the time, NOBODY wants to work in a strip club.
I too would never date anybody who has been to one. Any man that pays to access a woman’s body, does not respect women. Period.

Phoebo · 09/04/2023 03:41

Aussiegirl123456 · 09/04/2023 01:36

I used to work in one.
Despite what I and my fellow dancers said at the time, NOBODY wants to work in a strip club.
I too would never date anybody who has been to one. Any man that pays to access a woman’s body, does not respect women. Period.

Show quote history

My friend worked the bar there and loved it. She used to wear knew high boots and they'd be filled with cash each night from tips. Personally stop clubs give me the ick. But there are plenty of women who actually enjoy it - that I've actually spoken to.

Phoebo · 09/04/2023 03:42

JMSA · 08/04/2023 18:18

This level of leap is frankly nuts.

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣

Downunderduchess · 09/04/2023 03:58

I don’t think I know any man that hasn’t at least been at a party where there was a stripper. It doesn’t happen much these days, times change. If you are ruling out someone who’s been to a strip club you would be very short on options. Also what about other undesirable character traits?

Original poster
CantAskAnyoneElse · 09/04/2023 08:19

Greenfairydust · 08/04/2023 16:03

I just read your latest update.

Incredibly judgemental I would say.

Is it?

What about the comments saying that men must being lying to their spouses, what about comments saying all men are gross and at it?

OP posts:
Original poster
CantAskAnyoneElse · 09/04/2023 08:21

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 08/04/2023 21:35

I’m guessing OP you have never been in a strip club or some to people who work in one?

You’re very judgemental if you haven’t and not at all what I would call a feminist. If a female wants to work in one that’s completely her choice and her right to do so. If a man wants to go and waste his money on someone who won’t remember him an hour later that’s his choice too.

Of course I haven’t been to one.

As for rest of your comment, I’m not a liberal/choice feminist.
You’re comment is exactly the reason why not.

OP posts:
Original poster
CantAskAnyoneElse · 09/04/2023 08:27

Downunderduchess · 09/04/2023 03:58

I don’t think I know any man that hasn’t at least been at a party where there was a stripper. It doesn’t happen much these days, times change. If you are ruling out someone who’s been to a strip club you would be very short on options. Also what about other undesirable character traits?

Luckily I’m not afraid to be single!

Being a misogynistic is the most undesirable charecter trait I can think of, everything else is going to pale in comparison.

OP posts:
MrsMikeDrop · 09/04/2023 08:45

CantAskAnyoneElse · 09/04/2023 08:27

Luckily I’m not afraid to be single!

Being a misogynistic is the most undesirable charecter trait I can think of, everything else is going to pale in comparison.

Show quote history

Are you seriously saying you think any man (or woman) who's been to a strip club once in their life is a misogynist? Hmm