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Original poster

Could you date a man who has gone to a strip club?

188 replies

CantAskAnyoneElse · 16/12/2022 21:08

That’s pretty much it.

I’ve been asked out by a friend (man) and I’m not sure if I feel that way about him, he’s nuce enough and I was thinking about it.
But then I remembered how he has said he’s been in some strip clubs in his time.
He seemed pretty happy about those memories, but it just gives me gross feeling.

I know everyone has different standards, but I’m a feminist type, and I don’t think it’s going to be something I’ll be okey with.

It’s a bad idea, right?

OP posts:
maddy68 · 16/12/2022 23:40

cofeetablebook · 16/12/2022 21:09

Oh for crying out loud.

Good luck with your search for Mr Perfect.

This.
I couldn't give two shits

Diffuserqueen · 16/12/2022 23:43

You’re going to be single for a very long time op.

notacooldad · 16/12/2022 23:46

People change.
My ex went to see strippers in the early 80's . It was relatively normally in some northern towns. He's in his early 60's now and is mortified about his past!.
I dumped him them but I would probably date him now if i was single.

Readaboutyourself · 16/12/2022 23:50

Poor guy.

Seriously, it’s none of your business.

qpmz · 16/12/2022 23:58

Are you hoping to find a man who never has and never will watch porn too?

Rosecottage888 · 17/12/2022 00:00

Readaboutyourself · 16/12/2022 23:50

Poor guy.

Seriously, it’s none of your business.

It really is none of your business, as long as he doesn't visit them when you're together what's the problem?

IntentionalError · 17/12/2022 00:02

Yes, absolutely.

I have visited strip clubs myself and paid for private dances, which I really enjoyed. As with other things in life, I prefer to base my opinions on first-hand experience, rather than parroting the ignorant opinions of others who have none.

Visiting clubs & actually listening to dancers led me to have huge respect for them. They are often students earning money to pay their way through uni. These are smart, savvy young women who know exactly what they are doing. The only people being exploited in those clubs are the customers.

VisaGeezer · 17/12/2022 00:22

been and done it. · 16/12/2022 22:05

Are you saying all girls who work in strip joints are prostitutes?

Show quote history

There are girls working in strip joints??

VisaGeezer · 17/12/2022 00:23

IntentionalError · 17/12/2022 00:02

Yes, absolutely.

I have visited strip clubs myself and paid for private dances, which I really enjoyed. As with other things in life, I prefer to base my opinions on first-hand experience, rather than parroting the ignorant opinions of others who have none.

Visiting clubs & actually listening to dancers led me to have huge respect for them. They are often students earning money to pay their way through uni. These are smart, savvy young women who know exactly what they are doing. The only people being exploited in those clubs are the customers.

Boll - ocks

VisaGeezer · 17/12/2022 00:24

But then I remembered how he has said he’s been in some strip clubs in his time.
He seemed pretty happy about those memories

No, I'd be turned off by that.

MaxTalk · 17/12/2022 00:33

Is there a man in the UK who either hasn't been to a strip club or would happily go to one if the opportunity presented itself?

If you think there is, you are living in a dream world. Cue the " my DH would never go to one..." comments.. :)

VisaGeezer · 17/12/2022 01:32

Is there a man in the UK who either hasn't been to a strip club or would happily go to one if the opportunity presented itself?

Yep

I've met some.

Maybe you need to meet more people.

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 17/12/2022 01:39

Yep. I've been to a strip club.

I'm a woman by the way.

It's really a lot more ordinary in there than you would imagine.

Soakitup37 · 17/12/2022 02:15

liarliarshortsonfire · 16/12/2022 21:45

I was a smoker but wouldn't go out with a smoker now

I've also been arrested (in my teens), but wouldn't go out with someone who has been arrested recently

I've also thrown up in the street after getting drunk with my mates, again I'd be horrified if anyone I was with did it whilst we were dating

There are lots of things I've done earlier in my life which wouldn't be acceptable to me in a partner if they did it now.

It's the same with things like strip clubs, it's all about context. Is it something he does all the time, recently or is it for a friends stag do?

Doesn't sound like you're into him that much anyway, so chuck him back

This 💯 %

EmmaGrundyForPM · 17/12/2022 02:26

No, definitely not.

AnnieSnap · 17/12/2022 02:29

Oh for heaven sake. I have enjoyed a male strip show as a bit of fun. My really lovely husband who has real respect for women has been to strip shows in the past. It’s not at issue! It’s hardly the same as using exploited, sometimes trafficked sex workers.

Gem123J · 17/12/2022 03:16

Cheesecheeserson · 16/12/2022 21:11

Does not bode well for how he’ll treat you and approach the relationship. Studies show that men who engage in prostitution are more likely to rape.

wowowow! No one said anything about prostitutes!! A lot of stag do’s involve strip clubs. I know my husband has been to a strip club while on his best friend’s stag, am I comfortable about that, no. Am I holding it against him, no. Unfortunately most (not all) men will have been to a strip club at one point in their life.

SillyDoriswithaDangler · 17/12/2022 03:29

No

Original poster
CantAskAnyoneElse · 17/12/2022 04:37

Diffuserqueen · 16/12/2022 23:43

You’re going to be single for a very long time op.

Lucky for me that doesn’t bother me.
I’m not desperate for a man.

OP posts:
Judgyjudgy · 17/12/2022 05:39

catchthedog · 16/12/2022 21:11

you'll be in for quite the search to find an adult man who hasn't been in at least once

This. Even I went to one because I was curious.
As long as he doesn't go anymore, what's the issue (if he's into it and a bit of a creep, then of course just dump him)

merrymelodies · 17/12/2022 05:48

It wouldn't bother me as long as it was well in the past.

merrymelodies · 17/12/2022 05:53

In fact, I have a friend who used to be a male stripper while he was at uni. It paid for his studies and he loved doing it. Not saying this is true for all strippers but...

Aussiegirl123456 · 17/12/2022 05:59

I’d pass.
I used to work in one (actually a few) as a dancer. Out of all the hundreds of men I encountered in there, likely only a handful of them weren’t vulgar. You know that uk punting website (where members rate their sex workers), that’s how practically every single male spoke of us in those clubs. They’d rate us out of ten, critique our bodies, tell their friends what they wanted to do to us…the way they viewed women as commodities, subhuman and for their own pleasure and entertainment was just disgusting frankly. I was young and dumb and paying my tuition fees but working there gave me an insight into how the majority of men view women.
I know plenty of men who’ve never stepped foot in a strip club.
It’s your standards. You do you

Original poster
CantAskAnyoneElse · 17/12/2022 06:18

notacooldad · 16/12/2022 23:46

People change.
My ex went to see strippers in the early 80's . It was relatively normally in some northern towns. He's in his early 60's now and is mortified about his past!.
I dumped him them but I would probably date him now if i was single.

The guy in question is very much ”lot of good memories from those places”.

So there hasn’t been any kind of growth or self-reflection or consideration of women’s right on his part.

The way he said then was so off putting to me at the time, that’s why I remeber it still.

OP posts:
Original poster
CantAskAnyoneElse · 17/12/2022 06:35

Than you for your perspective @Aussiegirl123456
I’m sorry you went through all that.💐

OP posts: