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Original poster

Can't fucking believe this.

524 replies

CannotBelieveThisIsHappening · 12/12/2022 01:28

My daughter is 16. She's a slim, curvy, pretty girl. Not that it matters.

She has started occasionally giving my partner a quick hug now and again. He has never initiated before but does reciprocate.

Today, she was wearing her usual baggy tracky bottoms (that are too big for her so sit on her hips rather than her waist 🙄), bra and a cropped vest top She had her brand new supersoft fleecy dressing gown on over the top.

My partner and I went out this afternoon for a bit and she came over to give us both a hug. I called her ted and gave her a big squeeze referencing the fact she's like a teddy bear in it.

She went to hug him and he said "Come on then. You look curvy... cuddly" he definitely said curvy which was clearly in error and corrected it immediately to cuddly.

She did look cuddly. Like a teddy bear.

Cuddly is fine. Curvy is not.

I can't fucking believe it.

OP posts:
ScreamingInfidelities · 12/12/2022 06:59

SunflowerTed · 12/12/2022 05:14

Your actions are way OTT? Are you jealous of your 16 year old daughter? Not sure what your partner has done wrong? Do you see her as competition??????

Be careful, you might pull a muscle with that massive reach 🙄

wlwkei · 12/12/2022 07:04

JaneJeffer · 12/12/2022 01:30

Me neither

😂

thewayround · 12/12/2022 07:04

It all sounds a bit grim to me

Thisisworsethananticpated · 12/12/2022 07:05

Does the fact that he’s noticed she’s a woman mean he will actually act on it ?

this is your life and your family

but think hard if this is a one off mistake
or something more sinister

TabithaTittlemouse · 12/12/2022 07:05

Only you can decide if this is the end.
Use your judgment, you were there and you know him.

Motnight · 12/12/2022 07:08

ememem84 · 12/12/2022 06:51

I said “love you bye” to my boss on Friday….

Show quote history

Was that before or after he commented on your physical appearance?

emptythelitterbox · 12/12/2022 07:17

Adult males around teen girls, nope.

I can't count all the innuendo, inappropriate comments, sneaky gropes and "hugs" from adult males when I was a teen, many of them my friend's dads.

I remember my DD mentioning how her friends liked coming over as teens as her Dad was one of the only ones who didn't try creeping on them.

Your DD initiating hugs with your DP/BF is a bit odd. I'd never do that as a teen.
Do you think she has good boundaries? Is she a people pleaser? Has she witnessed abuse?

Pointless2 · 12/12/2022 07:18

Herejustforthisone · 12/12/2022 06:51

I actually don’t think the OP is overreacting. Her partner of a couple of years has let slip that he looks at her 16 year old daughter in an entirely non-paternal way. And that’s not good, if he’s planning on being in her life as a father-figure and has known her since she was 13/14, possibly younger.

^ this

I wouldn’t like it either OP and wouldn’t feel comfortable having him around my child.

Minimalme · 12/12/2022 07:18

Current fashions are very revealing at the moment.

I have a niece who wanders round the house in crop tops and short shorts. I am a child of the 90s when we wore baggy jumpers and jeans.

I love that girls feel able to show off their bodies but also feel it is really Impractical on some levels. In my 20s the fashion was low cut tops and I realised that many men I met spoke more to my tits than me.

Minimalme · 12/12/2022 07:21

emptythelitterbox · 12/12/2022 07:17

Adult males around teen girls, nope.

I can't count all the innuendo, inappropriate comments, sneaky gropes and "hugs" from adult males when I was a teen, many of them my friend's dads.

I remember my DD mentioning how her friends liked coming over as teens as her Dad was one of the only ones who didn't try creeping on them.

Your DD initiating hugs with your DP/BF is a bit odd. I'd never do that as a teen.
Do you think she has good boundaries? Is she a people pleaser? Has she witnessed abuse?

I agree with this - the hugs shouldn't happen. She has you to hug as does he.

FallingsHowIFeel · 12/12/2022 07:21

Minimalme · 12/12/2022 07:18

Current fashions are very revealing at the moment.

I have a niece who wanders round the house in crop tops and short shorts. I am a child of the 90s when we wore baggy jumpers and jeans.

I love that girls feel able to show off their bodies but also feel it is really Impractical on some levels. In my 20s the fashion was low cut tops and I realised that many men I met spoke more to my tits than me.

Wtf? Impractical? Girls and women should be able to wear whatever they like. Men need to fucking control themselves. Sick post. Wtf is wrong with some people.

GhostBridezilla · 12/12/2022 07:22

Sorry but you’re being weird OP.

Original poster
CannotBelieveThisIsHappening · 12/12/2022 07:23

Thanks for the reasonable responses.

Of course I'm not jealous of her! But I am aware of the way men will see her. Fielding inappropriate comments is something I do out of the home. Not one I want to do within it and with someone she views as family.

And a one off accidental slip of the tongue is, of course, fine but it was a word about her body. It just feels wrong.

I don't think she was inappropriately dressed for a Sunday in her own home when she's feeling a little under the weather. She was revising for an assessment not going on a night out.

It was a shock because I hadn't expected a slip of the tongue of that nature from him. He does behave in a paternal way around her, there hasn't been anything else and he felt like someone who was safe to be around her.

OP posts:
liarliarshortsonfire · 12/12/2022 07:24

Curvy seems an odd word to be describing your dd, for both you and your dh. Is this a word you've used to describe her to your dh? My dd is a teen and developing, but curvy isn't a word I've ever use to describe her. I might say she's developing, but curvy wouldn't even enter my head. Im wondering if it was a slip of the tongue off the back of you both having a conversation and using the word.

JustLyra · 12/12/2022 07:25

Some of the replies on this one are unreal.

Women are encouraged to trust their instincts when it comes to men and to not ignore red flags when they see them.

unless the flag occurs around your 16yo DD - then she’s inappropriately dressed (in her own home) and you’re jealous…

Jesus Christ.

Original poster
CannotBelieveThisIsHappening · 12/12/2022 07:27

Your DD initiating hugs with your DP/BF is a bit odd. I'd never do that as a teen.
Do you think she has good boundaries? Is she a people pleaser? Has she witnessed abuse?

She's just quite a buggy person. She hugs a few of my friends if she feels comfortable doing so. We don't have any other family so she doesn't get hugs from other people within a family context.

The hugs don't bother me. They're not big cuddles, just a quick hug.

OP posts:
FallingsHowIFeel · 12/12/2022 07:28

CannotBelieveThisIsHappening · 12/12/2022 07:23

Thanks for the reasonable responses.

Of course I'm not jealous of her! But I am aware of the way men will see her. Fielding inappropriate comments is something I do out of the home. Not one I want to do within it and with someone she views as family.

And a one off accidental slip of the tongue is, of course, fine but it was a word about her body. It just feels wrong.

I don't think she was inappropriately dressed for a Sunday in her own home when she's feeling a little under the weather. She was revising for an assessment not going on a night out.

It was a shock because I hadn't expected a slip of the tongue of that nature from him. He does behave in a paternal way around her, there hasn't been anything else and he felt like someone who was safe to be around her.

Once would be enough for me where my teen daughter is concerned.

thewayround · 12/12/2022 07:29

How long have you been with him op?

ImOutOfTouch · 12/12/2022 07:30

It sounds like you're jealous of your daughter.

Original poster
CannotBelieveThisIsHappening · 12/12/2022 07:30

liarliarshortsonfire · 12/12/2022 07:24

Curvy seems an odd word to be describing your dd, for both you and your dh. Is this a word you've used to describe her to your dh? My dd is a teen and developing, but curvy isn't a word I've ever use to describe her. I might say she's developing, but curvy wouldn't even enter my head. Im wondering if it was a slip of the tongue off the back of you both having a conversation and using the word.

No. I don't discuss her with other people in that way. As someone else understood, I used it here to give context.

OP posts:
Original poster
CannotBelieveThisIsHappening · 12/12/2022 07:31

FallingsHowIFeel · 12/12/2022 07:28

Once would be enough for me where my teen daughter is concerned.

Show quote history

That's how I feel.

OP posts:
thewayround · 12/12/2022 07:31

I’m thinking back to me at 16
Hugging my mum’s boyfriend of 2 years
Hugging him with my dressing gown on
Hugging him with my dressing gown open

Very odd

and his comment was nauseating

the entire set up just sounds gross

Ackity · 12/12/2022 07:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
CannotBelieveThisIsHappening · 12/12/2022 07:33

ImOutOfTouch · 12/12/2022 07:30

It sounds like you're jealous of your daughter.

Of course not! I'm amazed I managed to create someone so stunning if anything.

I'm proud of her in every respect. I'm not jealous of her. She's brilliant.

OP posts:
britneyisfree · 12/12/2022 07:33

@Ackity you clearly like saying it or you wouldn't have typed it twice on this post.

N word will suffice in future. Dickhead.