Can't fucking believe this.

[CannotBelieveThisIsHappening]

My daughter is 16. She's a slim, curvy, pretty girl. Not that it matters.

She has started occasionally giving my partner a quick hug now and again. He has never initiated before but does reciprocate.

Today, she was wearing her usual baggy tracky bottoms (that are too big for her so sit on her hips rather than her waist 🙄), bra and a cropped vest top She had her brand new supersoft fleecy dressing gown on over the top.

My partner and I went out this afternoon for a bit and she came over to give us both a hug. I called her ted and gave her a big squeeze referencing the fact she's like a teddy bear in it.

She went to hug him and he said "Come on then. You look curvy... cuddly" he definitely said curvy which was clearly in error and corrected it immediately to cuddly.

She did look cuddly. Like a teddy bear.

Cuddly is fine. Curvy is not.

I can't fucking believe it.

@HotChoxs Exactly. There are other people to consider too. My DH feels extremely uncomfortable if my 16 year old is scantily dressed. Therefore she should have consideration for him.

Yess I do think it’s strange to have a dress code for all the family in their home.

It’s even more strange that you believe wearing a dressing gown is “half naked”.

If you cant wear a dressing gown at home, where the hell can you wear one?

Bizzare😂

I’ll agree to disagree. You won’t change my opinions. And I won’t change yours.

Imagine calling your own daughter “scantily dressed”

That is one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever read.

Open dressing gown with boxers on did I not say?

Should we now just do away with dressing gowns that can be tied up because it's strange?

@FlissyPaps ok I will say she was fully dressed, covered from head to toe...even though she wasn't.

Definition for scantily clad is:

Wearing very little clothing; almost naked.

Which exactly describes how my daughter comes downstairs sometimes. It a fact.

Yeah an open dressing gown with boxers on is not “half naked”.

It’s not inappropriate to wear that in your own home.

It's not innapropriate to wear that in your home, because it appears to be run by the children.

Most men would get turned on and be a little uncomfortable with that feeling - if looking at a young girl/woman who was showing a little, to deny that is just naive.

If most men get turned on by their own daughters or step daughters wearing their dressing gowns or sports bras in their own home - then that’s just sick.

It’s always the woman’s fault isn’t it.

It’s always the women who need to consider what they wear in their own homes so they don’t upset or distract the men.

Sick. Sick. Sick.

@FlissyPaps I have to agree with you on this one...regarding men getting turned on. I would be very concerned if DH got turned on by his step daughter. That's just wrong.

I'd agree with fathers and stepfathers that are there from the early stages but for a new partner coming in during the teenage years of development I'd like to see the science on this one.

As FissyPaps said we're not living in the 1950's anymore so it's time this was backed by real data and discussion. Boys become superficially attracted to teenage girls in their teenage years and unless science says it disappears at when they become adults then it's an outdated view to claim that it does.

You're just being contrary for the sake of being contrary pretending not to know basic manners of dress.

Any adult knows this, even you.

Could you please explain to me the definition of “Basic Manners of Dress”.

All this stems down to is pearl clutching adults being deeply offended and uncomfortable by a 16 year old who chooses to wear a dressing gown with a crop top and joggers in her own home.

A shirtless man has nothing to do with it. I’m not sure why people keep bringing up “boys in boxer shorts” or “walking round naked”. It isn’t relevant.

I’m not being contrary I’m discussing OP’s description of her daughter and all the ridiculous misogynistic responses.

Anyone who believes wearing a dressing gown with a crop top and joggers in your own home is “inappropriate” “indecent” or “scantily dressed” have deep rooted issues. Period.

I assume the "scantily dressed" comment is aimed at me. I said that in relation to my own daughter, not the OPs daughter. But I don't think the daughter should be giving the mums boyfriend hugs at her age and I don't think he should be welcoming them either.

People are alarmingly naive here about the risk that a non related adult male poses to a girl going through puperty.

Step father and step daughter is a very very commong porn theme by the way and anyone whonis unaware of that should have a look at the popular categories on mainstream porn sites.

Teen or teenager is one of the most popular search terms

I would not want my 16 year old relaxing and hugging and wearing clothes for private home wear in front of a man they barely know and are not related to..sadly because the man might find it sexually a turn on and my duty is to keep my daughter safe in her own home

It is not the teenagers jobnto change their behaviour but adults to keep them safe from harm

So would it be fine for the dd to walk about half naked if the bf had his teen son there too? Because its her home?

What if they stayed the night and exposed a bit too much, if that fine too?

It is not sick or perverted or whatever else to expect people to dress appropriately when there are others around.

Can't assume every man is that way inclined though.

Yes it does. Her home, her comfort.

Not the boyfriend's home.

@deedeeweewoo what about decency in front of visitors though? And considering how those visitors may feel if dressing inappropriately?

Of course @PepsiMaxAholic . I dont at all assume men are all a risk.

But there is a risk and if you are parent to a teenage girl its a really important risk to bear in mind.

Can't assume every man is that way inclined though.

Can assume that every man who makes inappropriate comments is though.

Of course that vile comment is aimed at you.

”My DH feels extremely uncomfortable if my 16 year old is scantily dressed.”.

I know you said that in relation to your own daughter. Which is very disturbing.

I would be mortified if I referred to my own children as scantily dressed. It’s so degrading and misogynistic.

"My DH feels extremely uncomfortable if my 16 year old is scantily dressed.”.

😬

If the visitors feel like the occupiers of the home are dressed inappropriately, that’s their own issue and they can leave.

It’s simple.