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Original poster

Can't fucking believe this.

524 replies

CannotBelieveThisIsHappening · 12/12/2022 01:28

My daughter is 16. She's a slim, curvy, pretty girl. Not that it matters.

She has started occasionally giving my partner a quick hug now and again. He has never initiated before but does reciprocate.

Today, she was wearing her usual baggy tracky bottoms (that are too big for her so sit on her hips rather than her waist 🙄), bra and a cropped vest top She had her brand new supersoft fleecy dressing gown on over the top.

My partner and I went out this afternoon for a bit and she came over to give us both a hug. I called her ted and gave her a big squeeze referencing the fact she's like a teddy bear in it.

She went to hug him and he said "Come on then. You look curvy... cuddly" he definitely said curvy which was clearly in error and corrected it immediately to cuddly.

She did look cuddly. Like a teddy bear.

Cuddly is fine. Curvy is not.

I can't fucking believe it.

OP posts:
PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 13:38

@FlissyPaps it's not victim blaming, it's common decency. Just because it is the daughters own home doesn't mean she can walk around in front of other people wearing skimpy clothing. What about how it makes the other person feel? My daughter will often come down in a sports top looking bra and I will tell her to go and put a shirt on. I don't even want to see her practically naked as I'm sure she wouldn't want me walking round like that.

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 13:46

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 13:38

@FlissyPaps it's not victim blaming, it's common decency. Just because it is the daughters own home doesn't mean she can walk around in front of other people wearing skimpy clothing. What about how it makes the other person feel? My daughter will often come down in a sports top looking bra and I will tell her to go and put a shirt on. I don't even want to see her practically naked as I'm sure she wouldn't want me walking round like that.

Of course it’s victim blaming.

Calling a 16 year old “inappropriately dressed” “not decent” “skimpy” “scantily clad” for wearing a crop top, jogging bottoms and a DRESSING GOWN in her own home. I’ve never read as much bullshit in my life.

Anyone who thinks a 16 year old is “skimpy” - you ought to be ashamed of yourselves. This is so disturbing.

The internalised misogyny is absolutely astounding. And depressing.

What about how it makes the other person feel?

Then that’s their problem. Entirely. If they feel uncomfortable around someone wearing “skimpy” clothing in their home / then they have some real deep rooted issues.

My daughter will often come down in a sports top looking bra and I will tell her to go and put a shirt on.

Your poor daughter. Being made out to feel inappropriate in her own home. So sickening.

I often wear sports bras paired with leggings when I’m working out in the gym. I’ve never once been told to put a shirt on. If someone told me that I’d tell them to piss off and don’t look if it offends you so much.

This thread is one of the most bonkers I’ve ever read. So much internalised misogyny and sexism from MOTHERS!

WomanhoodIsABirthright · 14/12/2022 13:50

Just look at all the posts in the summer, disgusted about men with no shirt on.

There is a decent level of dress in front of other people. It is basic manners to dress appropriately.

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 13:52

WomanhoodIsABirthright · 14/12/2022 13:50

Just look at all the posts in the summer, disgusted about men with no shirt on.

There is a decent level of dress in front of other people. It is basic manners to dress appropriately.

We’re not talking about a shirtless man. Shirtless men are irrelevant here, and bring no valid points to this discussion.

We’re taking about a 16yo who is wearing a dressing gown. Completely normal attire to wear in her own home. Where she should feel comfortable and safe.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/12/2022 14:24

In the gym is one thing.

I would not receive visitors in my home wearing leggings, a sports bra or other abdomen-baring outfits.

girlmom21 · 14/12/2022 14:25

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/12/2022 14:24

In the gym is one thing.

I would not receive visitors in my home wearing leggings, a sports bra or other abdomen-baring outfits.

Visitors aren't allowed in wearing leggings? Grin

monsteramunch · 14/12/2022 14:26

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/12/2022 14:24

In the gym is one thing.

I would not receive visitors in my home wearing leggings, a sports bra or other abdomen-baring outfits.

Leggings?! Someone pops in to see you and they're wearing leggings and you'd tell them they aren't welcome as it's inappropriate clothing?

Come off it.

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:29

@FlissyPaps So the way she feels and wants she wants should trump DHs feelings in his own home too?

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 14:30

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/12/2022 14:24

In the gym is one thing.

I would not receive visitors in my home wearing leggings, a sports bra or other abdomen-baring outfits.

Acceptable in the gym, around strangers … but not acceptable in their home.

Bat. Shit. 😂😂

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:30

@FlissyPaps should she also be allowed to walk round naked in front of him too then? Since it might be what she wants? And what a teen wants should always be the be all and end all.

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 14:31

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:29

@FlissyPaps So the way she feels and wants she wants should trump DHs feelings in his own home too?

It’s not her husband. It’s her boyfriend. He doesn’t live there. He was visiting.

It’s the daughters HOME. And she should be able to wear a crop top and dressing gown without being made to feel bad, or gaslit.

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:32

@FlissyPaps I'm commenting about what you were implying about my daughter, saying she should be able to wear what she wants and sod everyone else in the house.

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 14:33

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:30

@FlissyPaps should she also be allowed to walk round naked in front of him too then? Since it might be what she wants? And what a teen wants should always be the be all and end all.

Be careful, you might pull some muscles with that incredible reach.

We’re not talking about walking around naked. Very odd for you to even bring that up.

We’re talking about the OPs description of her DD’s outfit.

Crop top, jogging bottoms and a dressing gown. She didn’t mention nakedness.

I repeat, anyone who thinks wearing a dressing gown in your own home is inappropriate then you have some incredibly internalised misogynistic issues.

That’s all 🙂

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:35

@FlissyPaps it's the same principle. You said that a 16 year old girl should be able to wear what she wants in her own home and shouldn't be told otherwise. What if she wants to walk round in a thong and no bra? It's not reaching at all. I'm testing your claim.

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 14:35

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:32

@FlissyPaps I'm commenting about what you were implying about my daughter, saying she should be able to wear what she wants and sod everyone else in the house.

God you’re reaching so much.

If my DD wanting to wear a sports bra or dressing gown in her own home - I would not make her feel bad or tell her it’s inappropriate.

Anyone who thinks wearing a dressing gown or sports bra in their own home is inappropriate has some BIG issues.

So weird.

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:37

@FlissyPaps You are totally trying to gaslight me here. I know what you wrote and it was in relation to the scenario I gave about my daughter. You said if it was you, you would tell them to piss off. I'm thankful that my daughter does not have that attitude and she knows I would not tolerate it.

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 14:38

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:35

@FlissyPaps it's the same principle. You said that a 16 year old girl should be able to wear what she wants in her own home and shouldn't be told otherwise. What if she wants to walk round in a thong and no bra? It's not reaching at all. I'm testing your claim.

Quote me where I have said

“a 16 year old girl should be able to wear what she wants in her own home and shouldn't be told otherwise”

Please. Like actually quote my exact words with the context of the outfit.

HotChoxs · 14/12/2022 14:38

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 14:33

Be careful, you might pull some muscles with that incredible reach.

We’re not talking about walking around naked. Very odd for you to even bring that up.

We’re talking about the OPs description of her DD’s outfit.

Crop top, jogging bottoms and a dressing gown. She didn’t mention nakedness.

I repeat, anyone who thinks wearing a dressing gown in your own home is inappropriate then you have some incredibly internalised misogynistic issues.

That’s all 🙂

Show quote history

I think it's inappropriate for a boy to walk around in an open dressing gown with his boxers on.
Does that make me Misogynistic or someone with standards?

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 14:39

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:37

@FlissyPaps You are totally trying to gaslight me here. I know what you wrote and it was in relation to the scenario I gave about my daughter. You said if it was you, you would tell them to piss off. I'm thankful that my daughter does not have that attitude and she knows I would not tolerate it.

Oh boo hoo.

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:39

@FlissyPaps those were my words, I was paraphrasing but that is exactly what you have been saying.

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:41

@FlissyPaps Sorry but with your latest post saying "boo hoo" and your defiant attitude, I'm going to assume that you are also in your teen years and so would take the view that you can do what you want and sod everyone else.

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 14:44

HotChoxs · 14/12/2022 14:38

I think it's inappropriate for a boy to walk around in an open dressing gown with his boxers on.
Does that make me Misogynistic or someone with standards?

Show quote history

In his own home?

Poor boy.

Well ‘misogynistic’ is strong prejudice against females.

So no, you wouldn’t be misogynistic to think that about a male. I’d think you were unreasonable and unfair and a bit strange to be offended by a boy in a dressing gown in his own home.

But each to their own it seems.

Im not getting anyway with the 1950s brigade. Have a great day everyone.

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 14:45

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:39

@FlissyPaps those were my words, I was paraphrasing but that is exactly what you have been saying.

No it isn’t. Quote me please with the context of the outfit we were discussing.

PepsiMaxAholic · 14/12/2022 14:47

@FlissyPaps I would have to quote every single one of your posts for context which I'm not prepared to do. People can read, they can go back and look. But in my view, you have been saying that a teen girl can wear what she wants in her own home and that what other people think or feel doesn't matter. Am I wrong?

HotChoxs · 14/12/2022 14:49

FlissyPaps · 14/12/2022 14:44

In his own home?

Poor boy.

Well ‘misogynistic’ is strong prejudice against females.

So no, you wouldn’t be misogynistic to think that about a male. I’d think you were unreasonable and unfair and a bit strange to be offended by a boy in a dressing gown in his own home.

But each to their own it seems.

Im not getting anyway with the 1950s brigade. Have a great day everyone.

Show quote history

Is it just his home?

I'm not sure why you think I'm offended, or strange for having a dress code in which all members of the family aren't continually walking around half naked.