DH wants to put dog to sleep

[mrsjackrussell]

I wasn’t sure whether to post in here or doghouse. It is a relationship issue aswell.

I have a 17 year old dog. She has arthritis and is on painkillers for this. Morphine and anti inflammatories. Can’t be walked far at all because of the pain. She goes to hydrotherapy and swims for 10 minutes and the vet says that she is uncomfortable but not in severe pain. The vet and hydro therapist says that it’s only a matter of time before she dies . She limps about indoors, enjoys her food and the rest of the time sleeps.

The issue is that she wees and poos indoors nearly all the time now. It’s been going on for nearly a year even if I have the back door open. She’s not incontinent as she’s goes in certain places. It’s getting us both down but my Dh mainly clears it up because he’s always up early. I’m disabled but can get down and clean it up and do my share although it’s a struggle.

He keeps wanting to get her put to sleep because of this and I don’t agree with it. He says it’s getting him down so much and gets really angry over it like he thinks she does it on purpose. Iv got to the point where Iv called his bluff and said okay book the appointment and you take her but he says that he couldn’t live with himself and that I would hate him. Which I would . We just keep having arguments over it as he keeps getting annoyed and because she’s my dog it’s making me feel like it’s my fault.

Im really disliking him over this. We have other issues anyway but am I over reacting? I just don’t know what I can do about this. I can see his point of view but apart from PTS what else can I do? It’s like he wants me to get angry too and agree with him but I don’t.

He sounds awful bullying and scaring your last dog op. Is he mean to you aswel?

I'm with him on this. It's torture keeping her like that, she will be anxious from not having control of her toileting, painful for her whole body, and she will probably be confused too. It's not fair. She deserves peace.

He used to be. Much better now but gets angry sometimes. Its why i posted here about my dog. It was 2 issues. He gets really annoyed over stuff

I will. She can have the whole packet.

OP I’m so sorry your pup is so unwell. I’m going through the same thing at the minute, I used to get angry and frustrated when my partner said he thinks the dog needs to be pts. I have now realised that it really is time, his pain isn’t well managed and it’s cruel to keep him here in the state he’s in. Im sorry to say that it sounds like that time has probably come for your dog too, it’s so hard to accept so sending lots of love

OP - You mentioned that you’re disabled. I’m guessing when you say he has no patience and gets annoyed with things, do you mean with you as well? I’m afraid maybe all these things could get mixed together - if your husband is not understanding about your disability, if you’re desperate to not “do wrong” by your dog, if you’re feeling like the dogs are more comfort to you than your husband. It’s A LOT to deal with.

I imagine Ddog is probably good company and a lot of comfort, if your husband is short-tempered and not much comfort. Unfortunately, I do feel what a lot of PPs said is true; I understand what your vet and hydro therapist have said about discomfort instead of pain, BUT your dog is 17, which is truly the upper, upper limit for most breeds, and she or he is sleeping most of the time and still limping, even while on morphine. I don’t think your vet wants to say, “Yes, put Ddog to sleep,” and then carry any emotional blame from you, because it can be hard sometimes not to blame someone, which is why they always say things like, “sooner rather than later,” “time to think about it,” “Ddog does seem to be getting very tired,” etc. Putting Ddog to sleep is NOT YOUR FAULT, please don’t take the blame yourself, but nor is it your husband’s fault, nor your vet’s fault.

But your husband may have a lot of other faults. If he is unkind to you. If he provides you no comfort. If he makes you feel scared or anxious. Of course it makes sense that you would want your dogs instead… who wouldn’t? It sounds like a difficult household to live in. I don’t know if getting counseling or leaving are options, but if you are this anxious-feeling, maybe it’s time to think about one of them.

(Apologies if I’m way off base and this isn’t the case at all!)

My dog take human arthritis tablets, they work very well.

Sorry OP but put the dog to sleep, seems very cruel to have them suffer like they are currently. It is for the best

Arthritis is so painful, and the fact that she is still limping despite the strong painkillers would make me think pts.

Just see your update. Hope it all goes smoothly. It's never easy x

Big hugs, OP, I'm sure she will enjoy the extra pate. Your dog is lucky that she had such a long and happy life with you and that you're looking out for her best interests.

I'm sorry to hear that your H has anger issues. You may want to start a separate thread to discuss that so people don't keep repeating advice about your dog.

Just wanted to post for support. You're doing the right thing by your pupper.

I had 2 cats PTS at the beginning of the year. I also had to make a decision to take someone off life support a few years ago.

It's never an easy decision.

You're doing the right thing OP.
Better a month too soon than a day too late

I think many people might still jump on the thread berating you because your name change fail has made it difficult to see your updates so please don't take it to heart.

I have an almost 17 year old jrt. I know you said discomfort and not pain, but still, why would you want your dog to be in constant discomfort? Even on strong painkillers.

I know it's hard to say good bye. It's the worst feeling. But our job is to make sure they are healthy and happy. Not to prolong their lives just for us.

Mine can still run and is fit - his hearing and eye sight isn't great. If I thought he was in discomfort all the time I'd be so unhappy for him.

Can people please read the full thread before posting? OP has already made the decision to have her dog PTS and doesn't need a string of people berating her.

Hope you're ok today.

Seventeen is a grand age, and I'm sure your dog would be grateful for an end to suffering. I always find remembering the younger, active and sometimes naughty dog in comparison to the old debilitated one helps. You are doing the right thing.

Unfortunately people often don't, or just filter the OPs posts. It might help if she would post an update under the name she used in the OP.

@Sakura7 - the OP did not put right her name change fail so the "see all OPs posts" function does not work.

Im sorry. I had a name change fail so you can't see all of my posts. Im having her PTS today. Im relieved to make the decision. Thank you all for your advice and kind comments

Sending many hugs, OP. Been there several times and it's always hard, but it does genuinely sound like it's time, regardless. Thinking of you.
Your other issues with your DH, though, sound like they should be on another thread.

we had to have our dear old 16yo dog PTS this summer. It's very hard to know when to let them go, but it was a relief.

We have almost this exact scenario. It’s me that wants to put the dog to sleep and dh wont. It would be kinder

The dog hasn't got much of a life, the poor old thing. I think it's the right time for her to go. Sorry.

Thankyou for your kind comments. I'm relieved that I have made the decision. It has been a very slow deterioration which has made it worse.
I tried to get her on my bed for a cuddle but she has never been a cuddly dog and didn't want to. She had her best friend PTS last year and they used to sleep and cuddle together. So cute. She never seemed to missed her though.