We communicated once at work and he was basically angry at the blocking but showed no interest in the reasons for it. No interest in my feelings.
😂You're not allowed feelings. They are inconvenient. They might take the form of being angry about his ghosting, (& hypocrisy!) or pull him up on the way he treats his sexual prey interests generally, or tell him how ungentlemanly is is to show other people your ex's messages.
So I'm the bad guy.
DARVO! You know this now, recite the word like a mantra when the feelings of frustrated unfairness rise.
After that conversation I had a bit of a wobble emotionally and took myself to my line manager to explain the situation. He was incredibly supportive and understanding and the fear of exposure has gone.
Fuck my old boots that is a MAJOR accomplishment!
What a bullet to bite, & what a result 😁
So yes, blocking and moving on had the desired effect. He is no longer acknowledging my existence in the corridor and whether his intention is to make me uncomfortable or not, I no longer care. Genuinely. I now see him and think what was I thinking?
3 cheers for OP.
When he deigns to communicate again (Hoovering risk, remember?) DO NOT be tempted to JADE, express any personal feelings, or get sucked into any non-work debate.
All you need is "I don't know why you're raising this again, I'm not interested in men who blow hot & cold so we're done, but I expect to remain courteous & colleagues. If you have a problem with that, I advise you to raise it with my line manager, so he can put you straight on professional conduct requirements. OK, busy day, bye".
He is gone, quickly and quietly like I'd hoped for so thank you for giving me the permission to do something so out of character and not try to make it all ok.
You've learned a hell of a lot in a very short time & have been brave enough to implement that hard-won new knowledge.
This isn't the end of the learning curve btw - this stuff acts sort of exponentially: you are going to grow, & keeping growing on the back of it.
That "not try to make it ok" is key to genuine assertiveness.
Which doesn't mean instant ease or some aspirational state of imagined perfection. I can still struggle with the "but I want them to UNDERSTAND so they'll stop doing this shit!" aspect you were probably feeling at his "no interest in reasons or my feelings" moment.
Because our default position, as reasonable & fair communicators, is that other people are coming from the same stance. It can be shocking, overwhelming & unbelieveable to find out they are not, & never will be.
Part of the "getting to meh" (see ChumpLady - your version is "I don't care & what was I thinking" - same thing) is reconciling that frustrated wish to be heard, to be mutually fair & understood. within ourselves, without expecting to be able to externalise it on its source as we would be able to with a well-adjusted person who had upset us.
So keep your guard up against potential mindgames that invite you to try to do just that. Believe me - he knows how "norms" react to being unheard, treated unfairly & wilfully misunderstood. It would delight him to see you tie yourself in knots trying to explain that to him, while he plays the victim who only wanted to devour 'love' you ...