Dating Thread 236 - Swiping, Blocking and Video Calls

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

New thread!

Gosh what an amazing romance you and MrEx have had @Mila14

I've had experiences like that too but they all turned out to be bad men (XH, first OLD adventure and some DJ/cocktail waiter handsome dude when I was 19...)

The only solid good man I've had a romantic relationship was a slow burn with no breathtaking emotions who I wasn't sure to begin with but he was great for 2 years then I dumped him.
Three decades later he's a boy bestie.
MrCars reminds me of him in many ways.

Mr Cars is growing fast on you Oncey…a best friend with great sex and emotional availability is what we all want. That is why we fall in love. When those things falter…we fall out of love…clearly
You are falling in love 🥰

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss your update is 😍

Really enjoying these updates!!!!

It doesn't feel like I'm falling in love weirdly just feels 'nice' or like it's always been there.

There are no highs and no lows just pleasantness and solid no games no guessing no wringing of hands just steady constant comms and meeting of minds and yep really tremendous physicals.

No belly laughs though. Some but not constant fits of giggles like I am with witty girlfriends.

Love your updates @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss ,many of us have had the lovebombing rubbish with exes and good relationships often don't start like that...

The key thing is that you are not looking for anyone else and don’t want anyone else right now. That is lovely

Did he reply to your message?

@5thWisdom he did respond, but sadly not in a positive way, he felt it was too intense for a nascent relationship. Unfortunately I felt the need to respond back stating that actually I felt that most people have a fear of rejection, however it may be that not everyone has the ability to be honest about it. I thanked him for his honesty and deleted all the chat and his number. I haven't blocked him, so he could still message me if he chooses. However I have given it some more thought and actually I was only after some normal levels of reassurance and if he is unable to do this, then he is sadly not for me.

Oh for goodness sake. I'm sorry. At least you got to find this out very early on.

You did nothing wrong.

Why did he say that? Has he got kids and stress at work? Was he looking for a relationship or just a date?
These are the things I find key to understand. Sometimes if someone is just out of a bad relationship, they don’t want anything serious. But it should be clear

@Mila14 he was looking for a relationship with deep intimacy and open and honesty communication. Divorced 5 years ago after ex wife cheated on him...has had 2 relationships, 1st one ended because she wanted more then he could offer, 2nd one ended in friendship as there was no sexual chemistry... We seemed to align well.
Jobs we are both health professionals in the NHS, lots of similarities. I think he hasn't done the work post being cheated on.
We fucked on Saturday, were supposed to meet again Sunday, this didn't happen. And now he has been deleted.

I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you DTD as well. This sort of thing can threw us off balance. Just take a few days )if you can and if it works for you) off the apps. Give yourself some love and try to relativise things
You are ok and he’s ok. Tomorrow, another day. Don’t worry about what might be or should be.

Mila14

dont speak too soon
blistering row today
I lost my temper majorly

i won’t go into details as website and all that !
but I do find his culture not always to my taste

but I’m also far too giving in my humble opinion

and therapy’s making me less —- accepting

his Xmas present wasn’t bought
got myself a new top instead

ownedbygreyhounds

ah im sorry
kudos for deleting

be ready that when he gets over his avoidance angst
and gets a hard on (sorry )
he might resurface x

Thanks to the ladies who replied to me. I've thrown myself into chatting on Bumble and just been given the number of someone promising... Do I give him my number or sort a second SIM tomorrow? I am totally new to this😳🤣 So far, so good. He comes across v well but I don't want to be daft.
Thankyou x

If want to chat but don’t want to swap numbers , try Telegram, bit like WhatsApp but crossed with Messenger & you don’t need to give out phone numbers.

if you give someone your number, you can always block them & if you have an iPhone you can silence unknown callers

support.apple.com/en-gb/HT207099

Ok Worsy…bad day. I’m sorry. Different cultures are always a difficult thing. The important thing is that you feel respected because sometimes the boundaries in certain cultures are a bit unclear when you see someone for a friendship and sex. I think you are both most invested than you care to admit and that is something strange to accept for at least one of you.
What would happen if you stop contacting him…would he be running after you to contact again? I think he would eventually but you need to protect yourself and see what is it he gives you that is so wonderful as for you not being able to ditch him. Does he take you to nice restos or to a movie? Is is only sex and comfort. If it is only sex and comfort, you need to check with yourself and not ask anything else.
You are clearly in an exclusive relationship…Balkan and you need to have a talk about how each envisages this relationship moving forward perhaps

You don’t need to give your number until you are dating him. I normally used to check them in linked in too. You need to know who you are dating. That’s my opinion.

Yeah, that sort of thing is tricky to deal with

I think NoShow has been single for a while as she sometimes goes off on these anti-male tirades ( bit like this thread/ forum ) and seems to forget I male and it’s sometimes difficult to hear that all men are shit, we have had a minor falling out about this,

I sometimes think her communication radar is a bit wonky,

and she hates it when I criticise any woman, she can be a bit double standards at times really

NoDatingForOldMen

ive actually stopped generalising about men
I hope so anyway 😂?

I actually think coping with divorce and mid life is harder for men in some ways

but un met needs are un met needs
male or female

So folks we have fallen out and he suggested leaving things so I just replied that it's not what I wanted but I respect his decision. I sent the message yesterday but he hasnt opened it yet. To be fair we have bickered since the weekend. Chin up.

@ownedbygreyhounds was that the recently met and very sexy MrNHS? I'm sorry if that wasn't you and I've misremembered who was dating who but if it was you wow that ended quickly and I'm very sorry for it.

Hastily arranged impromptu Date 8/sleepover #3 with MrCars at his tonight.

I have been musing that how this is the exact same point previous summer iron MrArt binned me off by ghosting out of the blue.

Mr Cherry??? Correct me if I am wrong but you were not very into him to start with?

Mr Cars is very very different to Mr Art. Please don’t worry. Also you were mad about MrArt…you are a lot cooler and in control with Mr Cars. He’s definitely punching above his weight with you. Relax