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Dating Thread 236 - Swiping, Blocking and Video Calls

1000 replies

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 28/11/2022 15:27

New thread!

OP posts:
Definitelycross · 20/12/2022 15:39

Fucksake he's come back to say he's talking to a lady regularly and hoping to meet so he's not looking just now.

Now - I said thanks for not being a player but part of me thinks why the fuck are you on Match?

Oh well at least I know that there are my type of men within 100 miles.

Definitelycross · 20/12/2022 16:06

Definitelycross · 20/12/2022 15:39

Fucksake he's come back to say he's talking to a lady regularly and hoping to meet so he's not looking just now.

Now - I said thanks for not being a player but part of me thinks why the fuck are you on Match?

Oh well at least I know that there are my type of men within 100 miles.

I'm a dick.

The reason he's on there but not with me is he doesn't like me.

Fuckwit 🤦‍♀️

confuseddotcom22 · 20/12/2022 16:09

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 20/12/2022 14:39

48 hours of adult only cosy times with MrCars chez moi has just come to an end. Teens did make it away and I'm so proud and pleased that they did. Not only was it a huge major milestone for them but it gave me the treasured gift of my own house to entertain.

MrCars was a delight to hang out with we cooked, drank, ate, danced together. He brought endless tools and fixed minor but annoying things. He loved the animals and we enjoyed plentiful best ever sex.
Very easy company and still maintains he loves cuddling me all night long (despite snoring) and likes making himself useful as he wants me to keep liking him.

The winter warmer to beat all the winter warmers. Won't see him now until Date 8 next week for another hotel based overnighter and meeting two of my oldest besties

Amazing update! Makes me believe in that good things can happen. Perseverance...

Mila14 · 20/12/2022 16:14

5thWisdom · 20/12/2022 15:08

😭😂😂😂 @Mila14 is ruthless!

What kind of cheapskate does not pay to look for a partner in serious site? You want to look and filter matches and make the search effective. A guy that doesn’t pay is a bloody chancer. It also shows he’s unlikely to pay for a drink on a first date. Sorry but no

Mila14 · 20/12/2022 16:18

LuckyLinda3 · 20/12/2022 14:29

Yeah @Mila14 I made myself a promise after the breakdown of my marriage that I was going to express my feelings going forward, in a respectful way obviously. My exh refused to let me speak or listen to anything I had to say. Not going there again.

Exactly my policy with MrEx. Things get said, even if they are prickly. I spent my marriage not being heard at all. Sometimes I had 5 minutes to explain something but mostly 0 attention span. I swallowed all the comms and at the end I needed despising my husband and looking for my escape route and divorce. I had nothing to say to him then but practical lawyer matters and kid stuff

Mila14 · 20/12/2022 16:20

Deffy, he didn’t like you but also he’s just having a look and possibly half way into dating. A guy in match that wants to date spends the money and FILTERS. I would never use an app in which I could not refine search and filter. We want to be effective. I keep saying my fave is bumble because no one bothered me. I was incognito all the way. No one could see me once I checked this option. So I picked all the way within my criteria

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 20/12/2022 16:27

@Mila14 how did you and MrEx first meet and how did your romance play out? You must have had quite young kids in those days?

I found myself wondering this over the heavenly adult-only bonk-holiday I've just enjoyed.

OP posts:
Mila14 · 20/12/2022 18:15

Yes Worsy . Kids were younger then! Thank the Lord for au pair as I had them most of the time! Met at social thing. He had a different job them and was separating…It was lust at first sight. I was crazy in love and him too. Just mental.
We both went completely mad. I don’t think we will ever experience that again our my life. We have discussed this too. We just went in full blast and were in love a week after meeting really. That only happens in movies but it happened to us. We were on WhatsApp 24/7 and video chatting quite often as we could not meet that often then. We were both coming out of horrible marriages for different reasons.
We went through a lot. And he’s the man of my life no question. He’s done the same reflection I have. This kind of naive idiocy will not happen again for either of us.
I was OLD but I didn’t really think I would fall in love with anyone. Same thing happened to him. We just could not stop seeing each other and feeling in love with each other.
This time I am a lot more realistic about being together and I also need more time to myself. I feel less joined at the hip and I plan less the future. I’m still thinking we are not suited long term but we will see
Also I feel different as a woman after OLD. I dated very eligible guys and I felt very desired and wanted. It gave me a massive ego boost. I no longer think I am punching above my weight like I did before…

Mila14 · 20/12/2022 18:15

Sorry…was answering Oncey

NoDatingForOldMen · 20/12/2022 21:10

QueenConsort · 20/12/2022 14:31

So I can join in a bit now.... I'll call him Mr Bridge.

Somebody I knew jumped the bridge off in Cairo. He was really in denial

NoDatingForOldMen · 20/12/2022 21:13

Definitelycross · 20/12/2022 16:06

I'm a dick.

The reason he's on there but not with me is he doesn't like me.

Fuckwit 🤦‍♀️

I think you are a being a bit hard on yourself, he has found someone and matched with them and is looking to meet them, it’s not really any reflection on you.

Definitelycross · 20/12/2022 21:30

Thank you @NoDatingForOldMen I've thought about it and I've had loads of first messages from guys and just pressed that I didn't want to hear from them. I was thinking he could have just done that. Or ignored it like others.

My knee jerk reaction is back and obviously I blame myself.

So thank you

Mollymolloy · 20/12/2022 23:13

Great news @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss!! So pleased for you 😊

Startingagain8 · 20/12/2022 23:43

Definitelycross · 20/12/2022 06:27

For all of us who find we have to carry the conversation 🙄😂😂

This made me laugh 😭so painfully accurate 😂

I’m still reading through this thread, soo informative for me as a newbie to OLD.

I have a question, for the more experienced among you lol…I swapped numbers with a man early last week via OLD , as he said ‘let’s talk when you’re free’.

On Friday I texted him saying let’s talk on Sunday if that works. He said sure and we agreed to text each other on The day ie. Sunday morning to arrange a specific time , as we were both not sure of our plans for Sunday yet .

the following day - Saturday - he texted me good morning, I said good morning back, then out of the blue… he video called me!! I’d literally just woke up so didn’t answer it.

When I got out of bed later I was finding it a bit off since it wasn’t what we agreed then It just hit me perhaps he rang by accident. So I texted him to ask if he had meant to call earlier. He said nothing at all…until today (Tuesday)! His reply this morning was so casual and he said “yes I like the video call “ 😂 it just seemed a bit strange, with no apology for the silence or for calling a day earlier. I understand impromptu video calls with someone you’re dating but not someone just met online

And I kind of suspect by his long silence he isn’t that interested and/or playing games. Life’s too short, so I’ve decided to just ignore his reply altogether and disconnected online.

Does that sound fair or too harsh? For context we are both childfree in our 30s and work mon-fri so he wasn’t busy with kids or work .

Stayingstrongish · 21/12/2022 05:31

@Startingagain8 I’d definitely bin for the terrible communication and random video calls! Sounds very fair and he will probably just shrug and move on to the next woman he can bother at unexpected times!

Mila14 · 21/12/2022 07:15

Startingagain8 · 20/12/2022 23:43

This made me laugh 😭so painfully accurate 😂

I’m still reading through this thread, soo informative for me as a newbie to OLD.

I have a question, for the more experienced among you lol…I swapped numbers with a man early last week via OLD , as he said ‘let’s talk when you’re free’.

On Friday I texted him saying let’s talk on Sunday if that works. He said sure and we agreed to text each other on The day ie. Sunday morning to arrange a specific time , as we were both not sure of our plans for Sunday yet .

the following day - Saturday - he texted me good morning, I said good morning back, then out of the blue… he video called me!! I’d literally just woke up so didn’t answer it.

When I got out of bed later I was finding it a bit off since it wasn’t what we agreed then It just hit me perhaps he rang by accident. So I texted him to ask if he had meant to call earlier. He said nothing at all…until today (Tuesday)! His reply this morning was so casual and he said “yes I like the video call “ 😂 it just seemed a bit strange, with no apology for the silence or for calling a day earlier. I understand impromptu video calls with someone you’re dating but not someone just met online

And I kind of suspect by his long silence he isn’t that interested and/or playing games. Life’s too short, so I’ve decided to just ignore his reply altogether and disconnected online.

Does that sound fair or too harsh? For context we are both childfree in our 30s and work mon-fri so he wasn’t busy with kids or work .

He’s not respectful and you haven’t even met yet. Bin

Thisisworsethananticpated · 21/12/2022 07:15

Definitelycross

yeah agree you are being hard on yourself

its a micro disappointment
but what he said is totally credible

I’d say why I say to everyone (and myself)
which is if the apps are causing any grief or stress - time to freeze profiles and do
something nicer instead

its hard as they do become a habit and it’s addictive
that ping !
a match !

Thisisworsethananticpated · 21/12/2022 07:26

LuckyLinda3

i think also you are right to tell him that you are disappointed about your birthday

im a person that makes an effort and Makes a fuss and tries to make people feel special

im meeting my iron for a coffee today and I’m
going to ask ‘are we doing Xmas presents ‘ as I know I’ll be annoyed if he doesn’t and i do

xmas is a tricky time

BaddogGooddoggy · 21/12/2022 07:33

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 20/12/2022 14:39

48 hours of adult only cosy times with MrCars chez moi has just come to an end. Teens did make it away and I'm so proud and pleased that they did. Not only was it a huge major milestone for them but it gave me the treasured gift of my own house to entertain.

MrCars was a delight to hang out with we cooked, drank, ate, danced together. He brought endless tools and fixed minor but annoying things. He loved the animals and we enjoyed plentiful best ever sex.
Very easy company and still maintains he loves cuddling me all night long (despite snoring) and likes making himself useful as he wants me to keep liking him.

The winter warmer to beat all the winter warmers. Won't see him now until Date 8 next week for another hotel based overnighter and meeting two of my oldest besties

That sounds like the perfect 48 hours, congratulations! 😊

Mila14 · 21/12/2022 08:45

Thisisworsethananticpated · 21/12/2022 07:26

LuckyLinda3

i think also you are right to tell him that you are disappointed about your birthday

im a person that makes an effort and Makes a fuss and tries to make people feel special

im meeting my iron for a coffee today and I’m
going to ask ‘are we doing Xmas presents ‘ as I know I’ll be annoyed if he doesn’t and i do

xmas is a tricky time

Worsy…I love you guys meeting for coffee…definitely Xmas pressies chat. You are in a exclusive relationship now and it’s stupid to deny it…enjoy pre Christmas coffee

Mila14 · 21/12/2022 08:50

Thisisworsethananticpated · 21/12/2022 07:15

Definitelycross

yeah agree you are being hard on yourself

its a micro disappointment
but what he said is totally credible

I’d say why I say to everyone (and myself)
which is if the apps are causing any grief or stress - time to freeze profiles and do
something nicer instead

its hard as they do become a habit and it’s addictive
that ping !
a match !

I think the hardest thing is not to blame ourselves but we also discard tons of guys…are they not blaming themselves either? It’s just people we don’t know and have not met and we don’t even know if the people behind the pic is the actual person. Relativise please.
Taking a break is awesome for your MH and when you are ready to come back there’s plenty more choice really. I too was addicted but took me 1 day to feel great about not checking phone every 5 minutes
I’d rather check this thread!!

Startingagain8 · 21/12/2022 09:22

Mila14 · 21/12/2022 07:15

He’s not respectful and you haven’t even met yet. Bin

exactly not respectful at all and it’s such early days …onto the next one!

Startingagain8 · 21/12/2022 09:26

Stayingstrongish · 21/12/2022 05:31

@Startingagain8 I’d definitely bin for the terrible communication and random video calls! Sounds very fair and he will probably just shrug and move on to the next woman he can bother at unexpected times!

yep, I’ll just leave him and his surprise morning video calls to another woman then 😂 well glad it’s not just me being overly harsh then

LuckyLinda3 · 21/12/2022 09:58

@Thisisworsethananticpated totally agree, I'm the same, I make the effort, end of. Youre right too, xmas is tough. Hope you have a good one.

5thWisdom · 21/12/2022 10:14

@Mila14 I agree. I don't miss them and prefer checking how everyone is doing on the thread instead!

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