As a fellow nurse, you have my complete and utter sympathy.
Your husband is a total dickwad (it’s quite late here, I’m in pain and tired so…) and the only right now practical solution that I can come up with is separate bedrooms because he is being completely unreasonable.
My other, take slightly longer but practical suggestion is to either find work closer to home or move closer to work. A 1.5 hr commute with a 6 hour shift and confirmed breaks is much easier than those gruelling 12.5 hour shifts, where breaks are hit or miss plus a 1.5 hr commute.
Seriously? If I still had to work those shifts in this country, which is a lot hotter than the UK, I would probably buy one of those little vans, throw a mattress in the back, lay out my scrubs (if you’re unlucky enough not to get to use hospital issue ones) get my essentials such as undies, shower gel etc and sleep in the van and shower in the staff showers, eat in the cafeteria, etc.
Am I right in thinking you work 3 days one week and 4 days the next? That’s how my shift patterns fell when I worked for the NHS.
I would also look at the cost of petrol and then compare that to staying in a Travelodge or similar budget hotel/motel close to the hospital, and that way just sleep there (and save wear and tear, petrol etc.). That’s assuming your shifts are in blocks that would make that practical and assuming you don’t have young children at home (although I should imagine that on work days you don’t see that much anyway, if at all).
You need to tell your husband to either remember to take his stuff downstairs or to the bathroom or wherever, or you will have to take drastic action (as per the above)! 🌹