Am I in the wrong for wanting him to stay at home

[FoxyBloxy]

I have either a stomach bug or food poisoning. I feel dreadful. I have been pretty much living on the toilet all last night and this morning. I have hardly slept for needing the toilet in the night. I am currently curled up in a ball with the most horrendous stomach cramps. I feel sick. I am knackered. He is going playing football today and will be out from 12-7. We have 2 dc and the thought of being in with them all day alone when I feel like this is making me want to cry. I asked him if he would miss it just this once but he kicked off saying no. The football isn’t compulsory, he won’t get a fine or get kicked out of the team or anything like that for not going. I am just so annoyed and fed up☹️

I'd get myself in the car and drive off.

It's the highlight of his week, a day of pure self-indulgence centred around football drinking and and male camaraderie.
He is determined that nothing will stand in the way of this.
He sees that his wife is very ill and struggling to cope with this at the same time as having his too young children to care for. His response to this is
'oh no I've got to get out the door as quick as possible before I get lumbered'
When you try to reason with him he turns it around on you to make you feel guilty, like a squid squirting ink while it makes its escape.

Sorry Id also get the children away from his example of how to behave towards a persons he loves, before this pattern repeats for your poor DC

If you can't rely on your partner when you're poorly, you'll never be able to rely on them properly. I'm sorry OP. If you have noro it's better not to try and eat. It works by paralysing your stomach. Just try keep hydrated as much as possible, maybe a hot water bottle and just have a pj day with TV. When he gets in I'd be telling him he's a selfish cunt and some thinking will be done about staying with him. Tell him to take over while you go to bed.

I have had similar experiences, the reason your ex insisted on going to work is because he didn't want to miss that night out.
I hope he is reaping what he sowed, mine certainly is

When he gets in I'd be telling him he's a selfish cunt and some thinking will be done about staying with him
I agree with your post Gamerchick but I think this is too generous, I don't think he she should give him any warning of what she is planning because that will give him an opportunity to try and make things go in his favour. He is not a partner he is only there to exploit her.

All I can say is at least he is an ex. ☹️

This would be it for me - unforgivable.

I had a horrible infection after giving birth and had to stay in hospital a further week with our newborn. I was really, really poorly but still had to look after a newborn, breastfeed etc. Her Dad would not visit us as was "too busy" but did manage to send a stream of texts to me to let me know how selfish I was to keep her away from him when he missed her so much.

I never, ever forgave that.

Thanks everyone for the advice and support. And sorry to those who have had similar experiences. I feel as if I hate him right now. He said bye on the way out but I ignored him. I was hoping I’d start to feel better as the day goes on but the cramps seem to be getting worse. My mum feels really guilty about being away but I’ve told her the only person who should be feeling guilty is him

My ex was like this. Notice I said ex… zero compromise and just had to go the pub afterwards too. He wasn’t that bad with our first but once we’d had our second he. Moaned he ‘wasn’t allowed’ to play 5s midweek or on a Sunday too.

I would give him the silent treatment for a week! What an utter arsehole!

Good god, I thought I was hard done by when boyfriend kept checking the score the other day. Yours is being selfish as hell!

I hope you start to feel better soon. X
Men like this unfortunately don't change.

He's awful. I honestly don't understand how men can be so selfish. Hope you feel better soon.

He’s appalling. There aren’t words for how unspeakable this behaviour is. I’m so sorry.

When you’re feeling better get the Lundy Bancroft book (Why Does He Do That?) via kindle app and then work out what you’re going to do. His behaviour will never change.

Well he’s really shown you who he is. You aren’t a priority to him. Or the kids. It’s up to you what you do with this. I certainly wouldn’t be doing anything for him from now on. Maybe permanently.

I can't believe he still went! What a fuckwit!

What's he generally like? Is he usually pretty decent or bloody rubbish like today?

Hope you feel better soon and maybe the bastard will get it and you can leave the kids with him whilst you swan off

Well I’ve just been sick so it gets even better🥴

I would bolt the door after the horrible selfish twat. Honestly can you imagine the backlash if it was a woman who left her small children in the care of their very poorly father while she went off for a nice day out? Fuck that shit.

He is being an utter knob.
He should have stayed at home to look after HIS children.
At the very least, if he was still insisting on going, he should go just for the match - straight there, play, straight back - and not disappear for 7 hours.
What a wanker.

So sorry OP, what a nightmare and he is utterly selfish for leaving you. Don't feel guilty if the kids watch TV and just eat cereal all day, they will love it! I hope it's a bug and he gets it and if I were you I would hide all the loo rolls and refuse to go to to the shop! Maybe turn the water off too, so he can't even flush the loo!

What an horrible selfish man .. he has responsibilities and that comes before football .. he obviously doesn't care about you or the children to leave.. any decent man would stay home

Honestly OP I think I would let him know he’s not welcome to come home and that he should find somewhere else to stay this weekend. then lock the doors.

my DH has never done this but did work all sorts of shifts when I was sick with the kids around. Plus I was alone with HG in my pregnancies.

Practical things to get you through:
TV on for the kids and maybe have your phone/iPad that they can play games on.
Make up a bed on the sofa.
Take some Buscopan for the cramps and make sure you have a jug of water nearby.
Have some plain biscuits around for when you feel able to nibble.
Get all the snacks out for DC and let them help themselves.

Feel better soon.

What an arsehole, you and your children deserve better than this. What kind of man not only leaves his wife alone to suffer, but also leaves his very young children with someone not well enough to look after them properly. Hope you feel better soon OP

This is so depressing to read. Of course he should stay home and take care of the family.

Another man child. Why are women putting up with this crap?