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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Can we have a thread about ways in which your partner initiates sexual intercourse?

352 replies

FrannyandZooey · 30/01/2008 20:35

Do they use certain words or phrases? Or is it more of an action thing?

and is it just mine who tries to think up comedy ones?

OP posts:
emkana · 30/01/2008 20:36

we need examples

DrNortherner · 30/01/2008 20:38

Can we have sex tonight?

Pretends to rut me from behind whilst taking washing out of machine/making bed etc

Wear are your suspendres/sexy undies etc? I'd like to see them

You seem a bit tense - you need a good shag, that'll sort it

Romantic ny dh isn't he?

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 30/01/2008 20:38

well from the crush going ker-poof thread, a lot of people said their partners said "let's make love" or something

how do you ask each other for sex?

OP posts:
Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 30/01/2008 20:38

oh emkana I get it now derrrr

OP posts:
DrNortherner · 30/01/2008 20:38

Where not wear

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 30/01/2008 20:39

DrN re: the rutting thing

is he actually initiating sex or just being annoying? Does he actually think you are going to be overcome with passion by this? (oh what do I know, perhaps you are)

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 30/01/2008 20:40

Going to bed before me. Then when I go upstairs, the bedside light has been left on. Always signals His Intentions.

ZippiBabes · 30/01/2008 20:41

doh....can i make up an answer

i will fondly lick your hand if you say yes babe

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 30/01/2008 20:41

He peers dowwn the back of my jeans to see what knickers I'm wearing and then states "I'm gonna HAVE you tonight..."

He's such a charmer...

DrNortherner · 30/01/2008 20:42

PMSL at being overcome with passion at the rutting thing

He's just letting me know he fancies a bit. He's deffo not a roses and satin sheet type of guy.

Sometimes he'll have a shower and de fuzz his bits then come and present himself to me....
God he'd kill me if he knew I was saying this on here.

God love him

MinkVelvet · 30/01/2008 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scootergrrrl · 30/01/2008 20:44

Mine does that thing too - he calls it "jack-russelling" like an over-eager dog, I suppose. I've almost managed to convince him that it reduces his chances to less than zero. I'm glad he's not the only one though.

fullmoonfiend · 30/01/2008 20:45

oh jeezuz. Sometimes I think it's a mircale we ever concieved given the mixed messages me and dh give each other....I favour mind-reading and then get pissed off when I realise he is not psychic, he favours comedy and gets pissed off when I laugh!

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 30/01/2008 20:45

I like the subtlety of the bedside light left on

zippi you hussy! get back on your wanking thread

OP posts:
ZippiBabes · 30/01/2008 20:46

on my own..how ironic pmsl

stuffitall · 30/01/2008 20:46

he twitches his legs
i'm not joking

BecauseImWorthIt · 30/01/2008 20:47

Yes, sometimes it's tempting to creep quietly back downstairs ... !

nannyjo · 30/01/2008 20:47

I get "do ya want me to flick ya prawn tonight?"

now you need never wonder why our sex life is so crap (not that you were wondering)

DrNortherner · 30/01/2008 20:48

BecauseI'mworthit - does that mean you only do it in bed?

DrNortherner · 30/01/2008 20:48

PMSL at do ya want me to flick ya prawn tonight?

Classic

lazarou · 30/01/2008 20:48

He says 'why don't you sit on my face'

fullmoonfiend · 30/01/2008 20:48

oh now, let's not get judgey about locations

justjules · 30/01/2008 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emkana · 30/01/2008 20:48

It's a great relief to see that the emkana household isn't the only one in which champagne and roses don't really feature as a seduction technique.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 30/01/2008 20:49

Actually, have just realised.. one of us shuts the bedroom door.

That can only mean one thing.

And it is to reduce the chances of teenage dc overhearing anything. (Younger dc just snore merrily on).

I have never really worked out HOW one is supposed to shag when there is a teenager in the next room, but obviously, needs must sometimes...