Can we have a thread about ways in which your partner initiates sexual intercourse?

[FrannyandZooey]

Do they use certain words or phrases? Or is it more of an action thing?

and is it just mine who tries to think up comedy ones?

DrN
Im seriously worried now that we are having relationships with the same man!

Well, i was so worried, until i saw a pic of him on your profile!1 Its put my mind at restthat they are different men.

mine lies on the sofa, waggles his half erect willy around in his hand and says, do you want to suck this? erm..........well, actually, funnily enough..........NO

This thread is making me PMSL.

Where are all the women married to the men who pour champers/dim the lights/scatter rose petals and play Barry White whilst whispering sweet nothings?

hah! Just been reminded of all the Sid The Sexist come-ons in Viz...

''D'ya like jewellery pet? Well suck on this, it's a real gem..''

Lucyellen - then tiy get a bit nearer, peering intently at his cock and there it is....a piece of underwear fluff stuck on the end

YUMMY!

Yeah i get the "Do you want to suck this?" line as well or even, "You know you want it!"

last time I got neck nuzzling

'd'ya like birds? Well suck on this, it's really fowl.. etc etc''

DH looks pointedly at his groin while waggling his eyebrows. It's probably how Mr Bean would initiate coitus.

ROFL.

I'd do anything for a shag right now so probably on the wrong thread...

actually this was the nearest i got tonight

is this email sex?

"pretty unlikely you'd see gravitons at that energy. but hey, what do i know?
i expect you to be dressed up as a sexy builder next time i see you now ;-)"

he is so much nicer

sexy builder? Now there's an oxymoron...

Mine puts SO much forethought into it - struts in naked with a sheepish grin. Am actively encouraging children to come into bed with me to avoid it........ call me old fashioned, but desperation is seriously unerotic............

pmsl at this thread!

dh says either, fancy some fucky fucky

or

ahh I have a special balm for that

Why dont you get down on this bad boy !!!
How about f**K OFF

i find the juxtaposition of long incomprehensible science bit and sex irrisistable (how the fuck u spell that)

Whilst rutting me from behind, if I try to wriggle away he says in a Cliff from Dallas type voice 'Don't fight it, it's bigger than the noth of us'

Then I PMSL.

Clueless - ahhh yes, DH also says 'You want fucky fucky? I do it for ten dalla...'

Oh DrN. He is worse than my dp!!!

Just accidently let out a snort while laughing, not attractive!!

PMSL at the doorway guy... I remember a programme called "50 ways to look good naked" and one of the red hot tips for guys was to stand in a doorway with the light behind you as its supposed to make you look sexier
I caught my DH trying out this move once and he was mortified that I rumbled him!!!

Nowadays, not so much thought goes into it!! I either get dry humped, or the willy windmill... classic moves.

He defusses most of it.Bit like a boyzillian.

Yeah and mine defuzzes most of it. Not all of the time, but sometimes he goes for it, TRims it nice n neat!