Can we have a thread about ways in which your partner initiates sexual intercourse?

[FrannyandZooey]

Do they use certain words or phrases? Or is it more of an action thing?

and is it just mine who tries to think up comedy ones?

[Judd]

DH sings "End away, end away, I'm gonna get my end away" to the tune of Ebeneezer Good.

[cluelessnchaos]

you get ten dalla, shit I am doing something wrong

[mosschops30]

what is wrong with these men?? me and dh rarely have sex for precisely this reason. As 'do u fancy a bit' just turns me right off and that seems to be the usual line.

What eva happened to a bit of romance.

My friends dh says 'I'm gonna ruin you tonight' which i think is great

[stuffitall]

mosschops

swoon at that line

[Poledra]

God, I'm so glad my dh just left the room, now I can PMSL without him asking what's so funny!
Other than the jack-russelling (which hasn't been used since he did it when I was brushing my teeth and banged my head off the wall - he so didn't get any that night!), he goes in for 'Do you feel randy'. when told 'no', he says 'I can work on that'

[DrNortherner]

PMSL at banging head on wall whilst brushing teetg cause of dh's jac russelling!!!!!!!!!

[stuffitall]

but still..
finding wife sexy while teeth brushing is sexy in itself

but still

[Pollyanna]

pmsl at the jack russelling. my dh always seems to be overwhelmed with lust as I'm unloading the dishwasher . Can't say it does it for me

[springlamb]

Springram (!) just asked from his perch on the sofa what's so funny.
Any of you ladies mind if I go back to OP and ask him to come and read this, he might pick up some hints on what NOT to do.

[cece]

PMSL at this thread.

DH is getting very cross that all your partners have stolen his 'moves'

He wants to know when we are going to start a thread of ways DW says no to sex!

[AlistairSim]

Re: the doorway.
It does often seem to be a doorway.
It's not something I'd given a great deal of thought to before but am now worried he has some kind of kinky doorway fetish.
Perhaps my norks remind him of handles

And I think the hand rubbing perhaps says more about poor circulation than excitement.

[DrNortherner]

Blimey Alastair, woudld the doorway at ASDA do it for him?

[morningpaper]

lol @ all of this

This is never in novels is it?

[stuffitall]

we should get ELF over here
she can put it in her next book

[bookwormmum]

Ex-bf used to prod my back with his erection lying in bed. He never quite understood why I found it irritating instead of sexy or romantic .

[DrNortherner]

Does anyone actually ever lay their head on his chest aftewards?

[Sycamoretree]

Cece - You should start that thread! I mean it!

[stuffitall]

as in

"He stood in the doorway manfully rubbing his arthritic blue knuckles, his willy waggling in the through draught. "if yer fancy a fook gerrin t'shed and brush yer teeth and I'll ruin yer prawn tonight fer sure."

Breasts heaving with fury she threw an iron at him.."

[jezzemx]

He goes to bed before me and then pokes his head around the door and says (with eyebrows raised)
"I think I will go upstairs now and prepare myself for you"

[springlamb]

Well he's read it.
Says he can't remember what he does, it's been so long.
Well, don't hold your breath dearie!

[Maidamess]

"Brace yourself"

[bookwormmum]

No but I used to be handed a piece of toilet tissue to wipe myself with afterwards . What more could you want?

[TheDuchessOfNorksBride]

DrN - head on chest. No, because it's all sweaty (and hairy), which is not nice when it's hot sweat but bloody terrible when it's gone cold.

[DrNortherner]

Manfully, he jack russelled her from behind - "Fancy a bit?" he breathed as she unloaded the dish washer.

Overcome with burning passion she dropped the tommee tipee cups, left dinner simmering on the stove, swiped the ironing piles off the work top and allowed him to indulge.....

[cluelessnchaos]

especially when your ear creates a vacuum, and you peel yourself off with a pop