He wants a couple of nights retreat and I don't know what to say

[walkinthewoodstoday]

My DH has just sent me a message saying he would like a few nights of silent retreat (and written dates). We have a 9 month old and a 7 year old. I am not yet back at work but will be soon. I don't know if I am lazy or struggling with mental health but some days I just find things really hard. When I stopped breastfeeding and my period came back I was so anxious and stressed I started to get dizzy. I am constantly worrying about whether the boiler will break or the roof will leak etc. I function in the sense I feed my 9 month old, play with him and put him down for rests. With the older one I feed and do my best. I often don't bother to feed myself. I have to force myself up and out with both of them to do the school run at 8am and then I just survive. Some days are OK though. I think I'm just mentally burnt out from being 'on' the whole time. Him asking to have a couple of days away just makes me feel sad. I can't control him but by asking me it puts me in an awkward situation. Please help me with how to respond.

I had one of these "hover round the edges" partners, too. He would say things to the DC to suggest I was weak or inadequate or failing in some way, just like with his comments about the trip to his mum's.

Leaving him was not easy, but it was so so worth it. For me, but particularly for my DC. I was able to be a better parent, away from him, and just the fact he doesn't come here means my house is a place of peace and of happiness for all of us that he can't spoil.

I was able to be a better parent, away from him, and just the fact he doesn't come here means my house is a place of peace and of happiness for all of us that he can't spoil.

This cannot be emphasized or repeated too much. We don't truly realize the amount of turmoil we're in until we're out and experience the peace of their absence.

How are you doing @walkinthewoodstoday ?