Dating a gorgeous man

[Dateshate]

I’m going on a date with a very, very good looking man. Met him on Bumble. I am not a shallow person and understand that looks are certainly not everything - looks are fleeting. I’m interested in the connection. He seems very keen and has said how he thinks I’m so good looking and lovely, that he will be shy around me - and sorry if he is! He seems genuine and nice. He’s talked about how connection is more important than looks and yes people do comment on how he looks but he doesn’t take it seriously and it doesn’t matter.

Thing is - he is really that good looking! And I’m nervous. I’ve put on weight lately and I don’t feel very good. I’m already convinced he won’t fancy me. And I’ve had a horrible time on online dating lately.

Any words of wisdom?

Have you seen him in person yet? A lot of people use fake photos.

Just go with it!
I met my husband online and felt the same as you; he was/is so good looking I thought there was no way he’d be interested in me. As it happens he thinks I’m too good for him, he’s really humble with zero ego and worships the ground I walk on.

Confidence is attractive, I’d remember all the good things about you internally and if he doesn’t fancy you, so be it, but it probably isn’t because you fancy him iyswim

He's just a person. Relax and enjoy getting to know each other.

Just relax, he may not be as good looking in real life, old or flattering pictures can be deceiving. If he is then great but still you have to feel a spark.

@Dateshate I also would be suspicious of him not being as good looking in real life! The amount of stories from friends / work colleagues who have said people they have met online have been completely different in real life! But if he is as good as his photos, then go with it! It doesn’t matter how good looking he is, as long as he fancies you back and you have a spark that’s all that matters.

Try not to worry about it. You may not find him attractive in person.

Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t look like the photos & don’t forget to report back. Enjoy the date.

If you haven't even met him yet then I wouldn't take anything he says on face value - this is OLD we're talking about! I've never met a really good looking man who wasn't fully aware of it and didn't use it to his advantage with women. Very few men punch below their weight.

He’ll either fancy you or he won’t. Just try to relax and be yourself. You might not fancy him!

Very few men punch below their weight. exactly! Which is why I’m feeling miserable now. I doubt he will fancy me.

he’s definitely who he says he is and I’ve seen many photos of him on Instagram and Facebook

Just remember, he sits down to take a shit like everyone else.

I never used bumble when I was single. Bumble is for lazy men that want women to chase them. Easy lays for him. What you look like for that purpose will be only vaguely important

Try not to overthink it - looks are just a tiny part of what makes up attraction. He may be dull, have a weird voice, bad hygiene, be crap at tidying up, be tight, or politically misaligned, or any other attribute that would turn you straight off!

FWIW I went on a couple of dates with a much younger and very good looking man. He’s the only person - male or female - who was actually even better looking in person than online! He was perfectly lovely and we had great sex (despite me feeling quite self conscious as I’m overweight and older) but I found conversation with him a bit stilted (almost like he’s rehearsed what he was saying, or said it so many times he’d learned it by heart) and while the sex was enjoyable, he also made some weird faces so it helped me to realise that while ‘on paper’ he was out of my league (hate that expression but you know what I mean), in real life I could actually take or leave him. I certainly couldn’t see a future with him. Wouldn’t rule out another shag, but also not heartbroken if I don’t, as his good looks are just a small part of it.

It may be that when you meet you are both impressed with each other or it may be that something grows from it, but until you meet, you’ll never know, so go for it. Remember you’re a prize too!

There's some really interesting data from tinder that apparently something like the "top" 10% of men are matching with 60% of women. So in theory you get a minority of good looking men dating lots of women at the same time. As women tend to be choosier (for very good biological reasons) whereas men will happily sleep with most women. This isn't to put a downer on anything and he may very well be a lovely genuine guy, but I'd be very wary of putting out until I was sure it was a genuine relationship. If that is what you're after of course

I just feel so miserable about the whole thing

He’s messaged to say how excited he is to meet me, and how i seem to be exactly his type, and he is looking forward to getting to know me.

Why are you miserable ? Just go with the flow and see what happens .. if you don't meet him you'll be no better off !

Maybe you fancy him but he doesn't feel attractive either .

He seems genuine, my gut feeling. He seems the nicest and most normal out of the many guys I’ve spoken to from online dating - there was always been a bad feeling which turned out to be right. But with him he seems just normal and sincere. I’ll find out more and report back.

Don't feel miserable OP, just go with the flow. Happiness and confidence is attractive!
I think my DH is super hot but he is pretty humble and had no idea I fancied him (even when I'd told him he thought I was joking!)

boboshmobo I guess I’m lacking confidence and im so depressed about how shallow many men are etc

I’m agonising over what to wear to hide my belly 🤷‍♀️ I’ve booked myself in for a blow dry at hair salon at least

This is rubbish. I used Bumble because it stopped the unsolicited dick pics and I felt much more in control.

I met my partner on Bumble, thought he was gorgeous (definitely wouldn't have felt able to approach irl level of good looking). When we met I literally felt a punch I the stomach, I found him that attractive. A couple of years later, we are engaged. And he frequently tells me I am too good looking for him. Beauty is in the eye and all that...

I’m usually so happy and bouncy and people like my friendly and outgoing personality
but he’s so good looking, and I had a bad dating experience lately
so I’m not feeling partly optimistic

and I wish I felt more confident about my body - but I’ve been eating a lot of carbs and not going to the gym, so this is what happens 🤷‍♀️ I’ll get it back

I know I sound shallow - I’m not, just lacking confidence

Just be careful he's not lovebombing you - you've never met before so he can't know that you are his type, people don't know that until much later on.

Also you don't owe him anything because he's goodlooking, and don't expect him to be perfect or anything.

Sorry to be negative, but I always found that low expectations were best when dating 😁