Dating a gorgeous man

[Dateshate]

I’m going on a date with a very, very good looking man. Met him on Bumble. I am not a shallow person and understand that looks are certainly not everything - looks are fleeting. I’m interested in the connection. He seems very keen and has said how he thinks I’m so good looking and lovely, that he will be shy around me - and sorry if he is! He seems genuine and nice. He’s talked about how connection is more important than looks and yes people do comment on how he looks but he doesn’t take it seriously and it doesn’t matter.

Thing is - he is really that good looking! And I’m nervous. I’ve put on weight lately and I don’t feel very good. I’m already convinced he won’t fancy me. And I’ve had a horrible time on online dating lately.

Any words of wisdom?

Looks are honestly just a very small part of what makes a person attractive. Dress in a way that makes you feel great, channel your inner beast and go for it!

I once went out with the most gorgeous man I thought I'd ever laid eyes. He was like Hollywood/movie gorgeous. We only met/chatted once at an event and he asked for my number. I got myself in a right pickle, worrying if he'd rally fancy me etc but I really shouldn't have bothered. One (way too long) date revealed him to be literally the most boring human I'd ever met. He monologued at me for a full 90 minutes, something about philosophy and books he'd read. I couldn't even put it down to nerves as he told me he never seemed to get past 2 or 3 dates with women. So I had to accept that this gorgeous specimen of mankind was single be a use he had no personality. Point being, looks are just a very small part of what makes a person truly attractive!

Hope you have a wonderful date!

Both mine and my siblings partners are very, very attractive and humble. They were also both late bloomers, not so attractive as teenagers, so they don't realise how stunning they are now.

It happens! Lots of attractive people are arrogant, but generally those people grew up attractive and know it. This guy might have been a late bloomer and he be totally in awe of you when you meet. Good luck - hope there's a spark!

You're building this way too much! Are you hoping for the "one" or something?

And you sound like such a lovely person...

Just be yourself. I hope it goes well 😊 definitely report back x

Good luck OP. Hope it goes well. Don't be intimidated by his looks and over compensate, just be yourself and please come back and report...we're rooting for you!

Best of luck op. Just be yourself and fake it if you have to. Remember how you felt 12 months ago about your body. Slip into that feeling. I’m sure you don’t look that much different tbh. Confidence is far more sexy than a perfect face or body.

Well you don't know that. He may have developed a technique whereby he can lean slightly forward and expel the 'item' from across the room and nearly always get it in the toilet bowl.

Something I've considered trying myself in a some public conveniences.

You need to get over this straight away.
Seems like you've already mentioned something of it to him for him to say that people do comment on his looks, but don't refer to it again.
Nor should you ever make disparaging remarks about your own appearance to him. He will either be attracted to you or he won't. Pointing out you think he's better looking than you will do nothing but set up an imbalance in your relationship.
He obviously doesn't consider himself too good looking for you, so why should you?
And if you can't get over feeling inferior, give him a miss. There will be no joy for you in feeling this way.

Agree you're way overthinking this. My advice is to stop thinking about what he might think of you, and concentrate on what you think of him. That's what's important.

And in any case you can't influence his thoughts, so you may as well just go with the flow and have a nice evening!

Hmm you say in your OP you're not shallow, then you go on about how wonderfully good looking he is, whilst saying how shallow men are.

You don't seem to have a particularly high opinion of men and yet you want to date one

Thats the eternal conflict of the heterosexual woman in a nutshell.😁

Most of the hetro relationships I know the men are better looking than the women, it's just worked out that way I guess?

Good luck on your date!

@Dateshate when is the date?

Even if he is very handsome, he might well have other major vulnerabilities. Ones that you couldn't possibly imagine till you get to know him. I have known some people who are in that position.

You sound like it's your confident that's the problem and not his looks.

I've been out with a few really good looking men, and they can sometimes be arrogant arseholes, but equally be lovely genuine men. As women we have preconceived ideas about what men like, looks wise, based on media. In my experience that's not what men like. They are attracted to bubbly, happy women, body wise it varies from person to person, but it's not what we, as women, have been programmed to think of as attractive.

If you like him and feel he's genuine just enjoy yourself. If he is an arrogant twat them dump and move on. If not, just enjoy yourself!

Ffs op, stop that! If he doesn't like you, for who you are then he's not worth the steam off your piss (as my friend would often say).

You can't really tell if someone is handsome/attractive etc in general or to you from photos.

They can be very misrepresentative.

Go on the date and see what he's really like in person esp including his demeanour, voice, vibe etc.

As for you .... First off most men are not that bothered by women not being skinny. Most prefer them not being skinny.

I'm not talking about being really obese, which a good portion of men don't tend to find attractive...just being a, say 12 14 etc. Most men do not find that off-putting. They like boobs and ass.

I'm skinny and I've had more male attention when I had the most weight on and was a largeish 12.

The ideal figure/looks thing where women did one and it was about size 8 with a Cheryl Cole type figure, while men dud one and it was about a 12/14 with a Kelly brook type figure... Holds true in reality I find.

I have worked with a handsome hunk, lost boy - knew when to get out his tux sort of guy, had a PhD as well. He had all the game, a big black book and was constantly juggling with women on the phone. Hope it all goes well but the most handsome ones tend to know their dating 'worth'.

@vera99

Yep they do know. Women too.

I prefer to punch a little bit lower personally 😂. Keeps the ego in check 🤦‍♀️ 😂.

How did it go?

@Dateshate what was he like?

You need inner confidence. This will improve your appeal. I don't even think you should date until you have this. I could say more but I really do think it's that simple.

We had our first date and met up again today. He’s so unbelievably nice, calm, and genuine seeming. Usually I feel nervous on dates but he had such a good nature. I felt so relaxed around him. He looks just like his photos.

He said he knows it’s very early stages, but he feels like he could really be with me, and he wants to date slowly and seriously, and see where this can go. He said I’m stunning, even better looking than my photos, and I seem to have many of the qualities he is looking for - fun, kind, values etc. He said he’s looking to settle down, he wants a strong emotional connection with his partner.

We kissed and held hands.

He seems too good to be true 🤷‍♀️

Sounds good op, he sounds lovely! My husband is very handsome but doesn’t really seem too aware of it so there are some good ones out there! Enjoy x