Dating a gorgeous man

[Dateshate]

I’m going on a date with a very, very good looking man. Met him on Bumble. I am not a shallow person and understand that looks are certainly not everything - looks are fleeting. I’m interested in the connection. He seems very keen and has said how he thinks I’m so good looking and lovely, that he will be shy around me - and sorry if he is! He seems genuine and nice. He’s talked about how connection is more important than looks and yes people do comment on how he looks but he doesn’t take it seriously and it doesn’t matter.

Thing is - he is really that good looking! And I’m nervous. I’ve put on weight lately and I don’t feel very good. I’m already convinced he won’t fancy me. And I’ve had a horrible time on online dating lately.

Any words of wisdom?

He might have a weird voice or a funny mannerism that makes him less attractive. Actually being serious. I went on a date with a guy who was absolutely gorgeous but his personality was sort of... weak and watery. It didn't quite live up to the pictures. He also lived in a squat 😂 so that didn't last long.

....but it did last a bit longer than it should've 🤣 I blame his cheekbones.

There's a good chance he won't even turn up, in my experience with OLD.

CookPassBabtridge I’m slim and used to be a gym bunny a year ago. But now I have a bloated belly 🙈 he did say he really fancied my pics and said I had brains to match given my career
he’s been very nice - I know it sounds ick and OTT but it’s all felt non sleazy and nice
Ive had so many compliments from guys on online dating that’s felt sleazy and insincere

toastedcat 😂😂😂

bloomtoperish sorry this has happened to you. I’ve never had a guy not shown up so hopefully he won’t be the first

I hope you have a great time.

Aw thank you ZeldaWillTellYourFortune

@Dateshate put on your favourite outfit, whether it be jeans or a floaty top so you feel comfortable in them, and just remember, he'd be lucky to get a second date with you. 💐

Tessabelle74 thanks any tips to look slimmer 😂🙈

Sorry, my misunderstanding of the last bit of your op. Thanks for clarifying.

Please, just go enjoy your date. He is but just one man.

you are building this up way too much. it is just a date, the first date. go and be you. he will either like you or he won't, you will either like him or you won't. you can even like each other but there can still be no chemistry. that's just the weird way of old. my genuine best advice is to just see this as one date with one person.

Maybe you're not ready for a relationship. You are freaking out and giving yourself a really hard time. You should be feeling excited right now, a bit nervous, but excited to meet this guy and hopeful that it goes well. That's it! The fact that instead you are panicking, and you are telling yourself he's too good for you, you're too fat and not pretty enough and he could do better - all makes it sound like you have zero confidence and you are therefore quite vulnerable.

I would take some time to work on your confidence, maybe do the freedom programme, and start dating when you feel you have something to offer another person. You are vulnerable right now, and if this man is not as nice as he appears, he will have already picked up on that.

I disagree, lots of good looking men.marry women of strong,almost.dominant personality over being the most stunning in the room.
But anyway there are lots of things that may be imperfect with him, op. Dont be intimidated by looks.

Good luck!
Just be yourself and don't let your negative thoughts about your appearance spoil the experience ( I bet they're mostly in your head and not actually reality!)

Bet he just photographs well. Maybe he's not that confident either. You've got nothing to lose. Just be yourself. As people mature they see beyond the looks. Maybe he doesnt regard himself as particularly good lookin plus he might have been out with a few women that are shallow and he's looking for someone more genuine. You don't sound like youre hallow-just that your confidence has taken a knock. Take a chance. Jump in and test the water! Beauty comes from within. I've seen women who wouldn't be regarded as top bracket (want of a better word) but because they've lovely personalities they have men swarming around them. Equally a friend of mine who is like a model, really gorgeous, has problems getting guys as she never smiles and they're too nervous to approach her.

I completely understand how you feel! I was in a similar situation a year ago. Matched with a guy who looked absolutely gorgeous and he seemed very nice and kind with similar values. I thought he was way out of my league and I felt very anxious about meeting him. Fortunately, I was still in therapy at that time and my therapist pointed out pretty fast how wild my imagination was running! So I consciously focused on what I actually knew about him. I also thought about another gorgeous man I met a few years ago (he was my colleague's boyfriend at the time) who seemed too good to be true. A few years later I got to know him better and he turned out to be an irresponsible man child. I wasn't interested in the slightest when he became single and made it very clear he was interested in me.

Anyway, I managed to go on this date quite relaxed and lo and behold, he really wasn't like I imagined him at first. He was handsome (though not so stunning as on the photos) and very kind but his life was a complete mess. He talked and talked about all his problems (from childhood on!) and I actually felt like his therapist. I think he got carried away a bit because I am very empathetic, he looked painfully embarassed, when we decided to say goodbye. Needles to say, we didn't go on another date. 😅

Good luck on your date!

OP, I’m going to guess you are very slim and have put on a few lbs, rather than you were an average weight and have put on 5 stone.

my partner thinks I am the absolute sexiest thing he’s ever seen. He loves my curves and wobbly bits and even finds my stretch marks attractive. He is a super fit triathlete and I am short and dumpy! I mentioned I wanted to lose a few lbs and he said he loved me how I was and only sees beauty. It’s taken a while to become more confident in my body (especially when naked) but he makes me feel like a super model.

Thank you for all the lovely comments
really appreciate it
will report back x

Lord all of this before you’ve even met!

Why don’t you just go on the date and enjoy it, if you fancy him and he fancies you then happy days!

if it turns out he doesn’t fancy you then never mind, someone else will.

You sound incredibly insecure and honestly that’s unattractive.

someone being so down on themselves because they’ve “got a belly” and “eaten too many carbs” is honestly so… basic?

just go and see what happens. Attraction and connection is based on so much more than physical appearance.

Try to stop worrying, he sounds lovely and not shallow at all. You're concentrating on how you look a bit too much, he'll probably have imperfections or things he's a bit concious about.
Also, people can look good in photos but their personality can change that if they come across a certain way. Some people are so different in the flesh - better OR worse. I've met people that are less attractive or more attractive than their photos, or less attentive in person. You've really got to wait until you meet in person.
I've found that most men prefer a confident, positive and chatty women over body shape. I would work on your anxiety first. Focus on your good pointsLook at your smile in the mirror, look at your clothes which compliment your good bits. Try not to worry.

You sound incredibly insecure and honestly that’s unattractive.

someone being so down on themselves because they’ve “got a belly” and “eaten too many carbs” is honestly so… basic?

Lovely thanks for this

Notaboutthebass thank you x

OP no point in going on a date if you're not going to be the real you.
One of my Sons fell in love, on the spot, on the first date....restaurant date and she ate as much as him 😁
Still together 12 years later.

One of my Sons fell in love, on the spot, on the first date....restaurant date and she ate as much as him 😁 made me laugh thanks 😂

A “good looking, normal and sincere man “is very unlikely to need to use any form of dating app..
Just be very careful.