Would you keep an expensive beautiful necklace from a guy..?

[Curi]

...that a few days later you told you never wanted to see again and not to contact you any more - although he'd never done anything to hurt you and had only been nice and gentle? Clearly it meant a lot to him and he wouldn't have given it to you in the first place if he wasn't crazy about you.

If it was an heirloom I would definitely return. However if it was bought specifically as a gift for me then returning it would depend on a) the circumstances of the break up b) if it was a gift that I was made too awkward to turn down c) if I thought you'd turn into a nutter that had something over me because you gave me a gift.

I'd probably just give it back so I didn't have to worry about an apparently conditional gift that might get me pestered and pressured back into an unwanted relationship.

This absolutely - I think many of us have had experiences like this with —creeps— men.

Seriously, you need to leave her alone OP - she’s not into you and you’re obsessing over her.

If this was a relationship and she ended the relationship after a couple of days she needs to return the jewellery, but the Guy shouldn't ask for it if that hasn't happened.

If (as seems likely) you gave a necklace to someone you weren't in a relationship with then it's hers to keep no questions.

God no!
I would return it. No decent person accepts and keeps an expensive gift from someone they are planning to break up with a few days later.

If you’re the man OP, get it back. In fact, demand it back.

If you are the woman OP, sort out your morals. You’re out of order! Give it back.

On the other hand If the man gives an expensive gift to a woman (he is not in a relationship with) in order to ‘buy her affection’ and she is is ruthless enough to accept - even if feelings are not reciprocated, then more fool him.

Is that you Ben Archer?

She won't necessarily keep it and use it. I had an ex buy me a necklace. I spent considerably more on his gift but anyway, we split up very shortly afterwards. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to return the necklace. He never returned my gift either.
I also don't think I ever wore it again. It probably went in my jewellery box. Not to seem insensitive but it wasn't expensive compared to my other jewellery.
I guess what I'm saying is it had a lot of significance to you but sometimes to other people, a necklace is just a necklace and a gift is just a gift.
It usually takes a lot for someone to cut contact completely so I think you've missed something. (I'm getting flashes of the Taylor Swift song where the guy sings 'you never gave a warning sign' and she sings 'I gave so many signs'.)
If you want the necklace back, you could ask a friend to ask her to return it. I wouldn't have minded returning jewellery to an ex.

Give it back. Why would you want to be reminded of something that you clearly didn't want to continue? Weird to keep it imho.

Oops, somehow missed an entire page of the thread. I take back everything I said (except the Taylor Swift reference) and agree with the multiple PPs who realised you weren't even in a relationship with this women and now seem to think she owes you something because you foisted a necklace on her. Back away OP. She has given you plenty of signs.

No, at least I would try to return it. Any relationship under a few months I wouldn't keep a gift more than tokens

I would return it and I think it says a great deal about her and her feelings that she hasn't. To her
Its an expensive possession that she's holding on to. She is probably able to disassociate it from you and see nothing symbolic in it.
That said, if you give a gift you give it unconditionally, so its not right that you have expectations she return it. The lesson being never give anyone anything you're not happy for them to have come what may, and that you're not prepared to lose.

Of course I would return it.

But it really depends how grabby the person is - some women would keep it as you can see from the thread.

and putting his user name into search doesn't throw it up.

Yes it does LyndaLovelace. I can see it in the search.

After reading your other thread it’s clear what you are up to. Mr Nice guy eh!?

You gave her a necklace and she’s likely taken it to placate you because you’ve made her entirely uncomfortable due to you being a complete weirdo.

Hopefully it’s now in the bin. She has told you under no uncertain terms she does not want to have any involvement with you.

You sound like a creepy stalker and if you contact her again I hope she reports you for harassment.

Not when I looked. Lucky you!

It brought up threads he had posted on but none started by him.

Link if you'd like to?

@knittingaddict It's there in advanced search but not a simple search.

This guy was not in a relationship with the receipiant of the gift and is pushing to be her friend after declaring his love. She has told him no way does she want any kind of relationship but he is saying she should accept him being a friend.
His entitlement and over thinking everything and bringing it back to how he feels, together with obsessiveness is coming across as verging on dangerous.

Well yes. I always use advanced search.

It's weird to accept an expensive gift from someone who is clearly romantically interested in you, if you have no reciprocal interest in them. Weird, and also materialistic and crass.

I'd advise taking things more slowly, in future relationships. Don't give expensive or otherwise precious gifts until you've been together a while or have reason to believe they have genuine feelings for you.

Oh, so this necklace was pushed on her? Well, that's crappy.

Don't be manipulative, next time. Accept that if someone isn't romantically or physically interested in you, you won't be able to buy their affection or attraction. It simply doesn't work that way. The most you can hope for is to pay for their very temporary attention.

This.

I would definitely have given back a gift that I had only received a few days before. I would be doing this because it is the decent and proper thing to do, then at least you can get a refund and treat yourself instead.

Bit if for whatever reason I was persuaded to keep it and wore it, it wouldn’t mean anything to me. It’s just a necklace, I don’t really attach my emotions t jewellery that has been recently bought, I might over something handed down.

I’d give it back if only to be really clear there is no relationship.

RTFFT 🤦‍♀️🙄

Some people do it in such a way that it's very awkward/difficult to reject it.

If you're that materialistic, you'd do better to agree to a relationship and milk them for more.