Apologies I’ve never posted before and I realise I’ll probably get some hate. And it’s well deserved.
very long story.
guy messaged me on Insta, no profile pic, limited account details. For some reason I messaged back and we got on like a house on fire. He sent me pictures, and just said he was a very private person.
we met and then started dating last December. Things went well, I fell for him quickly and he said he felt the same. There were a few niggles on when we could see each other and times we could speak and text but I was smitten and just believed him when it he said it was because of work.
always said he didn’t have children, never married.
didnt want kids maybe I should have seen some red flag already but he had me well and truly under his spell.
we talked about future, he was planning on getting a transfer so we could be closer and make things easier.
then he went awol for nearly a week, just popped back up apologised perfusely and said his brother was really I’ll and he had to go and be with his family. Stupidly I believed him.
friend in this time has done some digging and came across a picture of him holding a baby on Facebook. When questioned he said he did have a child but him and the mother weren’t together , she moved abroad and he didn’t see his son.
things carried on probably when they shouldn’t have but I’m weak and he made me believe him again.
fast forward a few months and something popped up on Insta and someone had tagged him in something. Call back fbi friend and she found wedding pictures on the internet, how he proposed where they lived together etc etc.
he finally admitted he had been living another life with me, was happy with his wife but we had something special and that he didn’t want to lose it
YES I should have walked away there and then, but I was low, weak and he knew I was vulnerable and hung on his every word
So I kept seeing him knowing full well he has a wife (believe me this doesn’t make me feel good) but I was so drawn in I couldn’t see a life without him.
ww went away tougher he kept making promises, breaking promises, but I couldn’t let go.
fast forward to last night, came over like normal. What ever normal was. But something inside me snapped when he said he did want, he wanted me in his life but he just needed time. I asked him to leave so at 4am after waking up and realising what an awful person I had been. he took his stuff and asked if he could hold me one last time and walked away.
he messaged a couple of hours later later asking me if there was anything he could do to stop me telling his wife.
I didnt reply and I finally managed to block his number and been in tears ever since.
so do I tell her? That he’s been living a complete another life for nearly a year. Or sweep it under the carpet and let her find out another way? as I’m sure I’m not going to be the last
yes I know I was wrong for carrying it on, and there’s no excuses and I feel like a terrible human being believe me.
im bitter, and hurt yes but I just can’t shake the feeling that she should know. I don’t want to hurt her. I want him to know he can’t do things like that but I doubt he would really care.
I know I’ve never posted but please help me. I can’t make sense of anything and don’t want to do anything stupid by messaging her when I’m emotional. I was just hoping for some advice.