Is the lovely thing my husband said to me this morning. We have 2 dc and they heard, my poor toddler is traumatised. To add insult to injury, I had v severe pnd with my first and planned to end my life, bought a rope at the time he found it and hid it, when he told me to go kill myself today he threw the same rope at me and told me to use it. What sparked this was me telling him he was taking ages getting ready, he then started mocking and mimicking me and I told him that’s not cool and it find it really triggering (abusive childhood and feelings were often invalidated through mimicry) he carried on and then I told him that I can’t do this anymore and viola descended into a tirade of verbal abuse about how fat I am, how ugly I am, how I have no one and the piece de resistance that everyone would be Better off if I was dead.
i know, Ltb and obviously I will, this is misery and hell and I can’t forgive him for putting my children through this. He doesn’t want a divorce though and will make things ugly, as you can tell things are already ugly. I tried to leave with the kids earlier but he took all the house keys and then accused me of traumatising my toddler.
i don’t have anyone to talk to, I’m all alone, I just have to get what happened out.
just to say I did have a lot of therapy and counselling after I felt suicidal with pnd and took meds and in time felt a lot better