Sex with teenagers in the house

[Thisisit11]

Interested to know if/how you do it. We have DS (13) and DD (11) and privacy has gone with the 7pm bedtimes. DD in particular seems tuned into the fact we might get up to something when we're alone and always appears at our bedroom at door at the wrong moment (not quite been caught at it but ..). Then, DH starts losing his temper because she's getting out of bed despite being told to go to sleep etc. Not romantic (and also not cool - he and I will then argue about him being so shirty with her NB is it normal for her to be so anti us being alone together?!?! Should I be worried?). Anyway, do any of you actually manage it?! If so, how!

Put a lock on your bedroom door

Stay up later and wait until they are asleep. Surely even with a later bedtime your 11 year old is asleep at midnight?

Only when they're out.
(why do you think working from home has become so popular?)

What time is this at?? I have children of similar ages- they never come into our room late evening

I think it depends on lots of things, the layout of your house and thickness of your walls being one of them! I'm paranoid about my DD hearing us, she's 12 now and has developed the magical flappy ears of a teen tuned in to adults having "alone" time. What works for us is early mornings, before she's awake (mainly at the weekend when everyone is having a lie in, she might sleep until 8.30) or trying to schedule something in during the week when she's at school, otherwise it would literally never happen!! Not very romantic is it?

Try first thing in the morning. Sure, you have to set the alarm earlier, but it's almost guaranteed quiet time with teens

I have never had this problem tbh. Just go to bed with your husband and have sex surely? My two as teens would not feel the need to hang around our bedroom after lights out unless illness then it was ,knock on our door. What on earth are you doing that would attract attention through a closed door? Noisy sex? Then it's up to you two to realise that you maybe drawing attention to your sex life 😬

DC recently told us he can hear everything through the wall. They found it really upsetting not funny or gross (special needs teenager). Also open door friendly parenting style with them all has really not worked out so well with them all as teenagers. When they are out / in the shower / downstairs at night I guess.

Lock on the door

At nighttime they never come near us as usually chatting online or listening to music / watching movies but we try and be quiet.

Early mornings they are always asleep.

Teenagers would never come to room at night unless I'll or need help with something so it rarely happens.

Might want to re-think your thread title...

IME, get up and have an early session before the teenagers surface.

I thought that too

Having teens has been the hardest age for us to have a sex life. The ages of yours weren't too bad for us but we did start to find late nights or early mornings were ok as they got older. If we were both home during a school day then we would make use of that as it was often the only chance.

Nowadays, DC are 19 and almost 15 and it's been hell. 19yo left school at 16 then dropped out of college last year and would just stay up late watching TV or playing games even while at college. Their bedroom is next to ours with 14yp next to theirs in an L shape so even being quiet the noise of the bed still carries into their rooms. 14yo has ASD and at the moment is very anti-romantic things of any kind (won't watch TV if people kiss etc) which makes us really paranoid about any noises. We don't have any daytime to ourselves with 19yo always at home now (they have a job now but it's in the evenings when 14yo is home) so our only chance is very early morning while they both sleep in, but even then we feel like we need to rush things just in case.

Lock on the door and quietly.

I can well remember hearing my parents when I was about 13. They weren't noisy at all, but I just knew. I hated it. It made me feel sick and I'd try to cover my ears as I went to bed in case they did it. I honestly found it totally awful.

Obviously, now, as an adult, I realise it was because they were in a loving adult relationship. But it has made me worry about when mine are slightly more aware (they're junior school age now).

When they're at school!

Ha ha what an idiot am I re the title 🤣🤣.

Thanks all. DH has to leave by 6am for work so is out very early, ruling that out. For the same reason, we kinda have to be in bed at the same time as the kids. Weekend mornings used to be a time but the kids still get up as early as ever and are less interested in their screens now so they are too...present! I guess the answer is wait til they've left home 😆🙈🙄.

OMG!! I'm sorry but parents have had sex as long as time! It's not unusual or abnormal unless you are ridiculous about it!
Stop with this pandering parenting style and put some privacy boundaries in. You have your bedrooms kids, this is ours. I will respect your room you respect mine/ours. You are adults in a relationship as well as parents, show them boundaries and parents have privacy and allowed a sex life in their own house!!

There's 'noisy sex' and 'deathly silent sex' and generally I would assume most people reside somewhere in the middle? Even if you aren't being vocal, there are still movements that make noise (presumably)?

So unless you have a massive house, hard of hearing children and are of the very quiet/silent persuasion, I can't see how it's possible to just crack on as normal without them hearing or knowing what's going on.

This is ridiculous. I have been able to have a healthy sex life and never once thought I was drawing attention to my bedroom!
I dunno, It just never was an issue. Perhaps we were not having house echoing sex that my kids heard!!

Why do they keep coming in? Could you have a 'don't come in once the lights are out' rule as you'll be 'asleep'.

I have a teenager who appears in our room occasionally throughout the evening, either for a chat or to put washing in the laundry basket, but he wouldn't come in once we're in bed with lights off.

We manage it every night but they are quickies, not long sessions.

Start with a lock on the door.

Somewhere in between them having a last minute phone scroll/tv show, we get down to it. Usually one of the same 3 positions that starts with some tried and tested dirty talk (whispered) to get us in the mood and always involves oral 1st.

Basically we know what works for us, we both orgasm and to be honest I can't be arsed with anything more energetic cos I'm not young and have disabilities.

Job done 😊

OMG we have gone from my kids might here me having sex with their Dad to literally spelling out how you do it so they don't hear?!! It was NEVER a problem, seriously, never a problem with my kids, or my sister's kids, literally nobody of my generation ( 51) has ever talked about being worried about our kids hearing our private lives. Is this a new parenting thing to beat yourselves up about?

Sorry reading that back there's probably too much info! But basically a locked door and quietly!

Never been a problem- we all knock on each other’s doors before entering and, after nearly two decades, DH and I are used to keeping the volume down.

Who could argue with this ?!