Sex with teenagers in the house

[Thisisit11]

Interested to know if/how you do it. We have DS (13) and DD (11) and privacy has gone with the 7pm bedtimes. DD in particular seems tuned into the fact we might get up to something when we're alone and always appears at our bedroom at door at the wrong moment (not quite been caught at it but ..). Then, DH starts losing his temper because she's getting out of bed despite being told to go to sleep etc. Not romantic (and also not cool - he and I will then argue about him being so shirty with her NB is it normal for her to be so anti us being alone together?!?! Should I be worried?). Anyway, do any of you actually manage it?! If so, how!

There’s something seriously messed up with you if you don’t mind your kids hearing you have sex.

Ye sex is natural but that doesn’t mean your kids should have to hear it.

Yes I really don't get people that are okay with it!

With 2 kids they are rarely put at the same time currently (1x a week and that's just over am hour at home in between car ferrying so will very much be appointment sex!)

I really wish we had some options.

This isnt so much about having sex but having boundaries. even from a very young age I always knocked on my childrens bedroom doors before going in and made it clear to them that I respected their privacy and their personal space - which the bedroom very much is. I expected them to behave the same to always knock and only to do this if it was something that couldnt wait - ie sickness in the night. part of a loving relationship is having sex and again you not the school need to teach them this. being open and honest about this really helps I think.

Hmm the problem isn't so much them coming in (and if it was then get a lock) but them hearing knowing whats going on. Sex is rarely silent even if its just the bed rocking.

And no I don't think it's my jobs to teach them that we will make sex noises every night 🙄🙄.

It's awful hearing your parents have sex. I did, two or three times, as a teen and 30 years on, it still makes me feel yucky. Mum gently moaning and dad grunting while the bed rhythmically squeaked. Eugh. Please don't subject your kids to that.

We never do it when ours are in the house. They're older teens so they do go out in the evenings and we make a point of using the time when they're not home. Older one especially would be very savvy to what was going on and her bed is literally the other side of the wall to ours. How could I relax and enjoy that?!

I also remember hearing my parents, went out a whole lot after that and left home at 17. I remember my mum asking me to do something on her phone and my dad was working away and a sext came in and even 15 years on it makes me feel a bit nauseated. One of them was deaf which probably didn't help. I suppose I should be happy that they are still married after all these years but yeah really did not want to be privy to the goings on.

No kid wants to hear or know about their parents having sex. Yes they know it happens but making it a "reality" for them ain't for me.

Don't want them to be mentally scarred!! :)

Your DD's reaction and actions are actually really quite odd..

Morning sex

I'm another who used to hear my parents and it just made me feel so uncomfortable. Holidays in a caravan were particularly awful with the caravan rocking. I make sure my children can't hear us- genuinely can't understand how you can enjoy it knowing that your children can hear you orgasm.

appointment sex is the only sort we managed for years to be honest ! It’s better than no sex in my opinion. I get it’s not very romantic or exciting

Yes I think that's where we're at and our new 1 x a week slot is great for as long as they di the same activity! But I remain hopeful for another way!

@ButterflyBiscuit it definitely gets easier as they get older and are out more on their own but I guess it depends on work patterns etc too.

The thing that stands out for me is that your children would come in while you are trying to sleep. Or while they think you are, obviously. What is the reason for that?

If it's any consolation DD age 14 is very squeamish with anything sec related and the very suggestion on DH and I getting in any way romantic repulses her so I do sometimes wonder if there's sabotage techniques afoot in our house

Agree WFH has saved our love life ... summer school holidays are tricky

Put on a lock

New build homes with wafer thin walls and teen ears that are highly tuned to any odd noise conspire in some cases. Plus we've always had ours and her doors open at night since she was little so a closed door is big clue.

Hey ho

Plus I remember seeing my parents at it on holiday once and it scarred me for a while, it really upset me and have no idea why ... so I sympathise but realise I'm probably projecting a bit.

Put the radio on at the same time, close your door, and keep it relatively quiet. I strongly suspect keeping it quiet is the cause of many bitten shoulders 🤣

At their age they're capable of keeping out if your room. If they tend to barge in, just ask them if they really want to walk in on you two nekkid. You don't have to mention sex.

Teens shouldn’t be going into their parents room without their parents permission

theres no need for them to be in there

there you go

solved it for you

Enroll dc in a church choir that practices every Friday night, perfect

We just put a bolt on the door and stick some music on to hide the noise. DD was fully aware of what the bolted door and music meant and I’m pretty sure she took advantage and stole treats from the kitchen.
youngest is yet to give a shit and is asleep by 9ish all the time .
Adults in a long term relationship are supposed to have sex with each other . It’s normal and healthy and a better model for young people than some disgusting porn showing abuse and exploitation of women.