Husband just slapped me

[carbibarbie]

..... I said he was too busy pleasing himself to spend any time with us as a family. He went out in the evening twice this week and is spending all day doing his hobbies. I said he could take our 3 year old son swimming next week. He said 'no thanks, I'm busy, stop being a bitch' and I squirted baby pouch at him (we have a 1 year old) and he slapped me hard across my cheek. Our children were next door. He then said 'you deserved that'. This is the icing on the cake. He spends no time with the children and I'm just envious of those families who have lovely weekends together. I don't know what to do. I don't want to see my children 50% of the time, I will not survive that.

I would associate 'Met' with met office rather than a london police force

OP, how are you doing today? Hoping you're okay, and that the derails on this thread haven't put you off.

Plenty of us here happy to listen, and the women at women's aid are there to help.

www.womensaid.org.uk/

It follows that you would. 😬

I know what she did was technically an assault. I didn’t need Google to tell me.

unlikely to see her her banged up in a police cell overnight though is it unlike the whack she got across the face in return for it which most probably would have.

in terms of wilful narrative and distortion of facts you need to look at yourself: your post is clearly seeking to justify on some level actual physical violence - not for the first time as has been established - and intimidation.

I am so sick and tired of reading moronic posts on Mumsnet where supposedly educated people fall for this sort of shit. This man is violent and will seriously injure the OP at some point. End of. Stop scratching around for some failing on her part to make a cool girl post. It’s regressive and makes you look really lacking

Yes @carbibarbie how are you?
Please do ignore the obvious posts yi will know which ones
how are you feeling? Have you had some time to process things and make a plan? I would second reaching out to women’s aid. They can also signpost you to a local service which might feel less intimidating and you will get a support worker. This is fantastic service and helped me enormously

keep strong

Begoniasforever · Yesterday 14:00

MrsSkylerWhite

Squirting a baby pouch at someone is spur of the moment silly.
slapping someone is assault. Call the police.

I’m fairly sure if the genders were reversed you’d say different. Both were abusive him way worse”

No I wouldn’t.

Throwing food or drink over your partner would be considered abuse. I lived with domestic abuse for 10 years, had to flee to refuge and am still very much involved with women's aid. Still going through court and have cafcass involved.
These people will interview in detail and throwing food or drink over your partner would be considered abuse, it is humiliating. People will change language to make their own abuse sound less or excuse it. Hitting is obvious abuse but abuse takes many forms and humiliation is one. Fwi I wouldn't have dared throw food at my ex. I understand ops husband was being rude and she may have reacted by throwing food in anger, but he could argue he reacted with anger after having food thrown over him. Both are wrong. The relationship sounds toxic, lacking respect and boundaries and abusive. Very bad environment for everyone especially children.

I understand ops husband was being rude and she may have reacted by throwing food in anger, but he could argue he reacted with anger after having food thrown over him. Both are wrong.

So many people defending that man's decision to slap his wife. How cheering!

Not one single person has defended his reaction. That doesn't mean the OP acted favourably.

Saying 'both are wrong' 'both are assault' is in fact defending his actions. Drawing an equivalence between squirting someone with food and slapping someone hard across the face is defending this man's actions.

I see your previous messages were deleted for victim blaming.

I think it's pretty clear what your thought are on domestic violence.

absent of a domestic setting

This thread is (trying to) support a women in exactly this setting. She may well be at risk. Real risk. This is not a thought experiment. Do you understand?

Ah, cross post. Thanks, MNHQ.

This. You aren't safe and neither as a result are your dc. He can't even be bothered to take his child swimming he's not going to want 50% contact - no way!

@Kaznad76 people will be along in a minute to say LTB, but if this is a genuine blip then he must at the very least take his medication as prescribed, and speak to his GP about anger management.

@Kaznad76 I"m very sorry this has happened but please could you start your own thread?

PS: He FRACTURED YOUR KNEE and you want to stay with him? Please have a serious think about this. Listen to your friends and family. He might kill you next time.

Kaznad I recommend you contact Women's Aid for advice from trained professionals. I would personally be very very cautious.

Someone who has abused repeatedly in the past is a red flag. Your family and friends' reactions are another.

All I would say is that when in an abusive relationship it can also be very, very hard to see the dynamic.

Because of a pattern of coercion and control, by the time it gets to violence women are often very confused and beaten down and it can be really hard to work out what way's up.

Would a break be a good idea to have a think about things? I hope you are okay and your knee is okay.

@Kaznad76 please do start your own thread for support. This man previously crushed tablets into your drink without your knowledge. He has form for domestic violence. He has now fractured your knee.

You need to call women's aid as soon as possible for support as you sound numb to his abuse, this would be an earth shattering shock to most people, and a thread of your own on here could be a great support to you.

Angry & Controlling Men are not "fixable" @Kaznad76
www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling-ebook/dp/B000Q9J0RO
Followw the link, buy the book, & FFS read it to find out why.

my partner of 1 year has a history of domestic abuse against 2 previous partners but all from 20 years ago
Your poor family are having kittens about you.
You are being hopelessly naive.
This cunt broke your knee, has a long history of abusing women, & you are lining yourself up to become his next victim?

Why? What the fuck are you thinking?

He doesn't have an anger management problem FFS @ScruffMuffin
He has a picking on women behind closed doors problem.

If he had an anger management problem, he'd be punching men too, & would either get beaten up or jailed for it. He's not breaking his boss's knee is he? or scuffling with random large men in pubs. Because he knows exactly how to control his anger so HE doesn't get any consequences. He saves the consequences for smaller & weaker people who can't fight back.

His GP won't be able to stop him from being a woman-beater, any more than you can @Kaznad76. Please listen to your family & get away from this terrible man.