Husband cheating with woman 37 years younger than me

[HeartBrokenWife]

I feel broken. I had no idea he’d fallen out of love with me. I’m 61 and he’s a little bit younger, but the woman he’s having an affair with is just so much younger than me that it has made me feel almost suicidal. I’m not going to do anything to myself, but I can’t eat or sleep and he’s just smirking at me. I feel utterly humiliated.

My daughter is taking me to a solicitor tomorrow and I’m going to start divorce proceedings, but I feel hollowed out inside and I’m asking myself over and over what I did wrong. I couldn’t help growing older. I’m so sad 😭

My first husband did this. We had been married for 21 years. We had good sex life and good social life. Lots of friends we went out with then he had an affair with young woman half his age. When I found out I could not even believe it. It made me feel sick. I went to see solicitor and asked her to start divorce. I asked him to leave. He moved in with her. After 3 months got first part of divorce decree nisi, then 2 weeks later he came around and told me she had to thrown him out and could he come back. I said no. No going back. I got decree absolute about 6 weeks later. I went on to remarry and have good marriage. He is still single all these years later. 2 children only visit him once a year. Other child still has not spoken to him after he left me.

Good for you @caringcarer The best revenge is a life well lived.

Oh how grim he is! 🤮

The fact he's smirking at you makes me want to smack him across the back of the head! And somewhere else too. What a tool.

I agree with everyone else. He's such a cliche it's laughable.

Hope your appointment goes well in the morning. Get all your ducks in a row and your finances protected asap. Take half from all joint accounts, savings etc. Divorce the fucker and live your best life.

No fool like an old fool. He's an embarrassment OP and it's absolutely no reflection on you. It won't last, she's not going to be interested in him long term that's for sure.
You will get through this. Take one day at a time, don't try and look too far ahead into the unknown as it's a waist of your energy.
Hope you manage some sleep

That is heartbreaking for you.It sounds like a midlife crisis, unless there have been other problems, have there??
The fact that you think it means he is smirking at you is awful.
Why is he smirking at you? Most men would be feeling guilt.Sounds like a bastard and you are well out of it.
I am glad that you have your daughter's support.This will surely come around on him, it is called Karma!!
You will cry, and feel terrible, but you will rebuild your life away from this horrible man, good luck

She will be attracted to him, foolishly thinking he’ll be a real man and a protector/provider but it won’t last. Soon she’ll realise his stamina doesn’t keep up with hers and how his dick isn’t as rock solid and steady as she needs🤷🏻‍♀️

Report his deluded ass to HR and they will investigate the pair of them

It won’t be long before she wipes the smirk straight off his face. She won’t be hanging around for long.
Tough for you at the moment. But you will get the last laugh. Sad old bastard.

Oh, @HeartBrokenWife. He has shattered your heart and life and is now smirking at you? What a cruel, remorseless low-life. My heart goes out to you.

He will lose the respect of his family and friends, not to mention the staff at work who have undoubtedly witnessed his and OW’s cringeworthy antics and consider him to be the biggest fool on earth.

You’re blessed to have your supportive daughter by your side. Divorce this faithless, smirking horror and surround yourself with those who love you. Consider counseling to help you go through the grieving process and regain your equilibrium.

@HeartBrokenWife, please keep posting here for support.

She's clearly a gold digger who is going for promotions at work and he's a silly
Old pervert following his dick! She will get bored once you take him to the cleaners and take what's yours

Go get your little cottage and live your best life, they won't last and he will end up a lonely sad old man.

Stay strong OP, get all your finances in order and make sure you get everything owing to you. He will regret this stupid decision in months to come ....guaranteed

What a sad, pathetic cliche he is OP. Please, PLEASE do not feel humiliated, he is humiliating himself.

His future with this young woman will soon wipe that smirk off his face.

Sending you a very unmumsnetty hug.

We are all here for you.

Go hard and go fast with your solicitor and wipe the smirk of his bloody face.

Take him for everything thing you possibly can. Gloves off and no remorse.

HeartBrokenWife
There is no reason to feel humiliated because his feelings have changed. Sadly love between spouses and partners is often subject to change. Honorable people separate or leave rather than cheat.

Take control of your life and your future. The fact that his feelings for you may have changed does not mean that you are unloved or unlovable. It just means that he no longer loves you, and in time you probably won't love him.
Stop focusing on him and what his future may or may not look like. Concentrate on your future by taking it one step at a time. Separation and loss are always painful, but it is a pain from which you can recover and move forward.
Get good legal representation and follow the legal advice that you are given. You may be surprised to discover just how resilient and capable that you are. Dwelling on him, just means that you are surrendering precious time and energy to someone who is no longer interested in your time or your feelings.

Love yourself enough to want what is best for you.

You have of course done nothing wrong. Your silly husband has allowed himself to be flattered by the attention of someone not much more than a child who, let's face it, will be off as soon as she realises he's not the sugar-daddy she thinks he is. He too will come to regret it only too quickly when he realises all this colleagues and friends are either laughing at him or think he's seriously icky.

I also meant to say what a fantastic role model you are being for your DD.

@caringcarer Well bloody done you! 👏👏

Ugh. She must be after his cash to shag a guy 37 years older.

He’s an idiot who can’t see that he’s being used.

Keep your eyes on the marrital assets from now on because chances are this woman is after as much money as possible and he’ll be desperate to keep her happy now he’s destroyed his marriage over it.

What a cliché he is.

Sorry OP but really your life will be happier without a man like that. Get a cottage by thr sea, take up painting and have a fab time.

🌸

Do not tell HR. You want him employed and solvent. More for you.

He's making a fool of himself and she'll soon tire of the old geezer.

Get yourself to a solicitor and get what you can while he's still in the haze.

When you are tempted to relent, remember the smirk.

You can rebound from this and have a lovely life ahead; it's hard but you can do it!

If no one else is suggesting it, try this site; she's hilarious and tells it like it is. It will give you strength.

www.chumplady.com/

Make sure you definitely know you have all his pension details OP.

My FIL had two different pensions. His first wife ran off with one of his friends and then went after half his pension. What she didn’t realise was that although he still had the same job in the same place for most of their marriage the building he worked in had at different times been controlled by two councils. This gave him two pensions in two different council areas and FIL didn’t combine his two pensions until after his ex wife got her half of the one pension she knew about.

It will be tough but stay strong you will get through this and be the one laughing in the end.

Oh, my Dear! I promise you that this is not about you...it is about him and his insecurities. And it will end badly for him...when it does, do NOT allow him to come crawling back. What she sees is a successful man, well-established. What he sees is a sweet young thing who never makes demands or expects anything from him other than the "pleasure" of his company. And THAT will change...right now, she is just thrilled at the time they can carve out. Once she thinks her hooks are set, she'll want the trash taken out, and the squeaky door repaired, and his socks, FGS, OFF of the bathroom floor, and the thousands of things he thinks he is "escaping," but which are just a normal part of two lives joined together.

But it is NOT about you. See your solicitor. Do not be afraid to ask for your full due. And remember this...the very best revenge is living well!

You have done nothing wrong OP, and he sounds like a prize prick. Highly unlikely his new relationship will last, but you move on and forge your own life. As for being humiliated - he is the one who will end up being humiliated when he's lost his wife, his new girlfriend and the respect of any decent people he knows. Take one day at a time and don't look back.