Hi op,
Could I ask if he knows that you know, for definite ?
Has he talked about his intentions with this woman, ie : has he suggested leaving you for her, or is this just another painful blow in an ever increasing toxic marriage.
By the sounds of it, this is yet another battle in an even bigger war.
You mention his previous dalliances, that were never proven, so I would imagine you have been expecting some kind of apology for 2 previous suspected affairs and not got one.
Are you very resentful of his past actions with no accountability ? his lack of remorse, he sounds incredibly child like and very selfish, I should imagine you have been the one who throughout your marriage were supportive and demonstative with affections.
Is this another one of those times whereby he is throwing a strop because you have limited affections ? Is he a very attractive man ? one who never really had to strive for a woman's attentions. ?
This appears to be a battle of 'who has still got it" a competative statement of well you wouldn't forgive me and show me affection so here I go again.
Silly old fool, he's pushed it too far this time, by the sounds of it, you have proof and you have the recognition that everyone will look at him as a laughing stock or some kind of paedo.
He is a total embarrasment to you and your family, christ I bet you couldn't believe this emotionally stunted man could be so momumentally stupid.
Your intellegence will shine through, don't allow him to drag you into immature battles which deserve no rationalisation.
You are right and he is wrong.
I sympathise with your loss of a partner who had any form of intellegence, where the fuck did he go and what happened to him.
A man who created his own downfall.
So foolish are his actions I'd be thinking there was something going on nuerologically.