Dating thread 234 ... spooky times ahead

[BelladiMamma]

New thread!

Could someone else please copy and paste the rules ...?

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Checking in 😊

Thanks for the new thread 😁

Hi everyone, checking in 😁

Checking in

Thanks so much for new thread!

Wanted to say to @Slothmomma I had a bearded hottie once and I was ever so nervous about the initial kissing but it was tremendous soft and furry not at all prickly and spiky. Have since started reviewing my non-preference for hirsute fellas.

Nice to have birthday weekend snoggings ahead!

✅ checking in

On education levels I'm a post-grad (or will be soon when I finish this masters) so really like that Bumble has a field for specifying levels of education and it's a nice easy conversation starter 'What's your post grad in and where did you do it?'

Mr Art he's dyslexic post-grad so spelling is iffy despite big brains.

(yes yes he's still not an ex iron just yet - we're due to speak on the phone later - He's had an almighty disasterous calamity this week which may be linked to his drop in comms or maybe is a convenient get-out. I've had that scenario before - dire mental health crisis was a convenient get-out for my first OLD lovebomber who made a miraculous recovery as soon as I stepped away according to his Instagram and found his one true love a week or so later..... 🙄)

Oncey … same here but Ivy League ( I’m euro) . I do however try to match with similar social and educational level because it makes life easier. Mr Ex went to a fairly non descriptive Uni but has an unbelievable top job and he’s the man of my life ( music, politics, current affairs etc) . Mr O was extremely good at art and culture and lied about Uni background and being a post grade …so basically… some people are just different and we still fall for them. I don’t put in my profile that data, but I do say I am a postgrad because it’s correct.!
I am meeting MrEuro tomorrow and I have no idea what his linked in looks like but somehow… I really don’t care right now. I will check him if we like each other on first date.
This is totally unusual in my case

…we're due to speak on the phone later - He's had an almighty disasterous calamity this week which may be linked to his drop in comms or maybe is a convenient get-out.
Careful Oncey. The fact remains he’s not very involved in asking about you and who you are… this is unlikely to change if it did not happen from the beginning. You have all the red flags 🚩 you need Someone who describes himself as caring about other’s feelings in a profile is … strange?

Interesting chat about education, I just got a regular Bachelors degree from a nondescript establishment, I would never even cross my mind to ask someone about their educational status, that’s such a non thing for me.

Gosh what an educated lot

i tend to go for poor and hot foreign men

and with undiagnosed mental health issues 😁

I might revisit that strategy someday ….

Worsy you sexpot… I’m sure your euro/foreign guys are super interesting people

Bachelor’s degree from non descriptive Uni is what Mr Ex has and he’s the love of my life
I married a top Oxbridge twat and he made my life a misery
character matters a lot more ( and good chemistry)
no worries 😉

That made me laugh @Thisisworsethananticpated 🤣🤣🤣 we're back to our DJs and drugs fellas of yesteryear.
My 'type' was always rough & moody (broken) too where I'm neither.

Mr Art (yes yes @Mila14 but I can't dump a fella when he's down so have removed him from my brain and no expectations at all - no plans to meet I'd be surprised if we're still in touch weeks to come but interested to hear what he's got to say in response to my 'Cheers then & see ya' msg I sent) is jolly and posh so have moved away from the uneducated angsty boys of the past. It's a proof of concept

Worsy

…and with undiagnosed mental health issues 😁

everyone has baggage and personal issues and mental health issues are more the norm than we care to admit

Mr Ex has huge attacks of depression and I was with him and very very in love for 6 years
I still love him but in a different way

The thing to work out at is your own issues but make no mistake, we all have baggage and would benefit from counseling

I'm not uni educated but did have a professional job - before retraining - and would never think to ask someone about what they do or don't hold certificate wise. As long as they can pay their way so we can go out and do fun things etc I'm not bothered

Slothy , the reality is we just don’t know who do we fall for but you have now tried a beardy medic and it’s working!
I agree he needs to be sorted economically to suit you doing things you like together

Ooh may I play?

I'm 4 weeks post breakup with a man I'll call Mr Abstract, an infuriatingly sexy hermity drifter with whom I had the best sex and intellectual/emotional connection of my life.

Because he was conning me. I think.

And emotionally abusing me. Definitely. Breathtaking emotional violence at the end. Not such a quirky, intriguing woman- worshipper after all - just a fortune-hunting vintage incel who got very very angry when I told him my secure financial situation might soon change. I walked out when he said, "you're so pathetic" and mocked various aspects of my life he had always supported. Nope. If I were going to accept being abused I would have stayed with my wretched husband.

Pretty sure Abstract has a couple of other irons like me - I think his regular little bouts of disappearance may not have been the psychological minibreaks he claimed he needed (as did I - I'm busy) to satisfy his monklike tendencies but simply the least stressful way for him to compartmentalise us all. Maybe I'm imagining this. Then again it's pretty to weird to ask your lover so many questions about their banking.

Met him on Bumble. Urgh. Think I will stick to real life man-meeting if I can perfect any techniques to make more of them approach me in the wild.

Forwards, in a good dress!

Wtaf @DoomsdayPrep that sounds like a horrendous rollercoaster! You poor thing. All strength to you for binning him off. Hope he hasn't reduced you to a quivering wreck after that heady sex and 'connection' pre-being a nasty wanker.

We should start sharing bad man OLD pics from the apps here so we can all avoid!
Do you want to start this ball rolling? Let's have a look at mister shaggy vagrant emotional and financial abuser so the rest of us can give a swift swipe left on this charmer.

DoomsdayPrep

ouch
that sounds ….. bruising

when your bruises have healed you will 100% see the red flags and tend to them
some hot sex after a divorce is potent and discombobulating

hang tight

on another note
got my HRT patches today

potent stuff !!!! Within less than 2 hours I’m bloated , spotting and have the period pains of a 15 year old
I’m shocked that a little sticker of whatever hormone it is reacts that fast

I seem wedded to marrying/dating men with undergrad degrees in chemistry, despite being myself an accountant with an English degree 🤨. Mr B and XH look the same too as both are of Irish extraction. Similarities completely end there though!

Think I will stick to real life man-meeting if I can perfect any techniques to make more of them approach me in the wild.
This makes men sound a bit like forest ponies or unicorns 🦄 make sure you always have some sugar cubes in your pocket, just in case you meet a man in the wild, or should that be a wild man ?

for reason I thought of Bill Bailey , and come across this

That made me proper laugh out loud @NoDatingForOldMen thanks ever so for sharing!