Dating thread 234 ... spooky times ahead

[BelladiMamma]

New thread!

Could someone else please copy and paste the rules ...?

@Mila14 that's very brave I think go do a vid call with a man who lives nowhere near. He must have looked like a good contender.

Re Euro I used to have as a non negotiable that I wouldn't meet guys who revealed that they'd moved away from their kids. Way too triggering for me and much prefer a very invokes dad as a sexy vibe.
Just realised Mr Art left his 11 & 14 yr old hundreds. Not sure how that slipped through the net.

Date with Mr Curly was increds. He came to the show with me after our Date 0 and we laughed a lot. I knew within an instant he'd like the show and id like going with him as very funny, confident and interesting.
Very easy with one another and a modest amount of flirting but mainly... wait for it.... ACTUAL TWO WAY DIALOGUE and he was genuinely interested in some of the things I mentioned and dug deeper. Turns out we have distant tribes in common through our exes of 20 years and drank in the same pubs in Bristol.
We belly laughed through the comedy gig and we'd like to see each other again

I was already a bit existential after big family reunion night away jiving with octogenarian aunties who were in their forties a blink of an eye ago so this has turned into a bit of a strange weekend.

@30somethingandstillsingle I agree with @NoDatingForOldMen - she's an ex for a reason.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss wow fantastic date with Mr curly! When will you be able to see each other again? I'm looking forward to going out for a full evening with Mr medic to see whether he's fun. So far all our dates have been in local little pubs (but both driving) or coffee shops (because I can't venture far as have the kids) so have been quite subdued. One of the reasons it ended with Mr Mason was that he didn't make me laugh and wasn't particularly fun.

Talking of Mr Mason, he sent me a little bday in post - something small but thoughtful 😱 I had to message to say thanks but hope he doesn't think that coms are now back open. This leads me to one little niggle I have with Mr medic - and tell if I'm being unreasonable - but for his bday I got him and card and wine I know he likes and treated him to a meal out. He saw me the day before my bday and the day after and didn't even get me a card - now I'm wondering whether he's not very thoughtful or tight - neither of which are attractive 🤔 (however I am hormonal so tend to get quite negative)

Slothmomma

happy birthday 🥳
that’s annoying that crap ex got something and new contender didn’t 😂 I’d let it pass however

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss
that sounds like an amazing date !!! You like ?

30somethingandstillsingle

looking at their exes and women online is a new form of self harm
be careful that because he looks a certain way that YOU find very attractive , that you don’t put him on a pedestal and let the low self esteem sabotage this
I’ve done this and it’s so bad for the ole mental health x

and good you had a nice date and good he texted fast 😁

@Slothmomma Date 4 already with MrMedic. I love how these fellas go from randomers on the internet with a right swipe profile to full on blokes we want to get nekkid with. It's a beautiful thang. Keep us posted with your Date5 arrangings.

@Thisisworsethananticpated sexy hot Pilates instructor and kittens?!?
Have you died and gone to heaven. Well jel!
Please post gratuitous kitten pics.
I have four cats already so will not be tempted to get more but kittens are so super lush!

Oh hang on @Slothmomma I'm now reading your update.

MrMedic! That was a slack non-move! He missed a chance to lovebomb you there is one way to look at it.
Add it to the log and think nothing more of it. You are gathering data.

Some people's love-style is to be thoughtful and gift givvy. Others not so much.

Thanks ladies - see I know you talk sense and it's why I love it here - I know I overthink everything hence why thought I'd mention on here

MrCurly has stated that Im interesting, funny & sexy and is mega grateful for the bold invite to the comedy gig last night and deffo wants to see me again.

His blockers are young kid EVERY WEEKEND as he's vehemently 50:50 and a couple of others too.

I say where there's a will there's often a way.

Something about him made me feel a bit <something> can't think of the word - nervous? in-awe? he is super confident and chatty and hilarious )but so am I). Weak at the knees? Something anyway and I can't tell if it's good or not.

Will probs see him next week as I'm off to that London this weekend for gigs, dancing and a delayed 50th (mine)

woohoo Slothy , the fact that you have had 4 dates so close together is a massive green flag. He’s very keen . Looking great ❤️

Oncey … one more time I agree fully. Guys that have 0 cobra t with their kids are a massive red flag. He also shared another info I found really difficult to understand to be honest. But I am a prude and a bore. Mr Euro is a lovely guy if you want to have fun but there’s something dark there I don’t know. Yesterday he was texting me in a very somber tone as if he somehow regretted being way too frank. I think it’s the speaking in euro language that made him lose his tongue. I’m interviewing new irons and as usual I get my time to think and disconnect when I’m with kids.
im talking to a guy already 😝

Worsy I have 2 cats ( my kids own them 😳. It’s brilliant to have cats when kids are stressed . They really really calm down with them . You need to sterilize them as soon as vet says . When we are away I have a friend coming over to give them food etc so they are very easy to care for as well

Slothy… I’m a sucker for details and presents but it’s too early and he does not know you enough. Mr Ex took time in giving me a present because he just didn’t want to buy wrong!. Maybe a bottle of wine back is not right ? Or flowers? Please do not read anything else on this one
Another massive green flag is that he’s busy with kids and needs to sort weekends .
Look at what really matters 😊

Oncey super good that all great with Mr Curly. I’m sure there’s a way to work around kids every weekend 😈

I’m out for dinner with MrEx tonight… he’s a constant in life 🙂. I will name iron I am talking to when I know a bit more …

Yes @Mila14 I know you're right - and it was him that has suggested trying to sort it so our weekends align so I don't doubt he's keen. I suppose its very early days and we have plenty of time to work out whether our personalities match/work together. I'm in no rush

I feel like some kind of weird voyeur reading these updates sometimes, but this really rings true, I’m from a large extended family on my mother’s side & as a kid I can remember going to loads of big family events with loads of aunts & uncles & cousins, ( a lot of died now, unfortunately), but 40 years has passed in the blink of an eye.

I was already a bit existential after big family reunion night away jiving with octogenarian aunties who were in their forties a blink of an eye ago so this has turned into a bit of a strange weekend.

and 4 cats is 4 🐈‍⬛ too many

Enjoy final kid free night with MrEx @Mila14

My non experienced OLD best mate is telling me my brief text summary to her re MrCurly has got 'at least three huge red flags' - easy for her to say when she didn't chortle for two hours next to some delicious manly thighs and breathing in his pheromones...

Do wise experienced OLD sages here think Skint is a 🚩 in itself?
I'm all swoony about his commitment to small kids and dad responsibilities but it doesn't help my aim of having a sexy boy bestie I can go on holidays with and bonk.

Oncey… skint is a massive red flag for me. But other ladies don’t think so at all so it is what you think of it. At these ages… I like people to be a bit sorted economically so there’s no issue there
I like eating out and going places and being a bit safe. I’m not 29 or 30 anymore

Good to hear that @Mila14 My best mate is a millionaire so she'd see that as a bigger red flag than me.

I'll not bin him off on that fact immediately but if he can't enjoy meals out etc (also one of my most favourite things) PLUS has no feee time his circs may not be working in his favour.

Will keep an open mind for now.

Oncey.., will keep an open mind for now is the best attitude. It’s too early and you don’t even know if he’s totally skint really . You are suspecting things. Same with time for you… you need to see how that goes

Do wise experienced OLD sages here think Skint is a 🚩 in itself?

But how do you quantify skint, is his unemployed and living on benefits or is he on a 0 hour’s contract or a minimum wage job ? Or financially ruined after a divorce? Or just has a regular job and is not a millionaire?

fwiw, both ms Horse & NoShow probably earned less than 1/2 what I do & didn’t bother me a jot, ( but I think men in general care a bit less about that..)

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss how skint is skint? If can afford to do stuff but is not loaded I'd be ok with that as pay my own way but don't want to have to pay someone else's way to go out and do stuff - and I'm not looking for someone to sit in the house with date after date - I do that enough 😆

I think after divorce it’s normal to have a change in circumstances but I am with Slothy. Normally guys are more well off than women and that’s not an issue. I think for me it has to be someone within my economic/ social status simply because I am looking for a partner not a FWB and it would be easier to share family and friends.

Im guessing the latter @NoDatingForOldMen is self employed and hard working but rebuilding after divorce and presumably paying for his kids, their house and now his own house.

It's not ok to favour fellas who have opted out of paying for their offspring.

I once dated a guy whose electric would regularly go off as hadn't fed the meter and couldn't feed the meter. Never went out for a meal with him unless I was paying. It wasn't brilliant but also wasn't the reason we split. He was feckless unmotivated untalented type who had no basic house skills which was the death of us. Which I now realise were totally linked to his insolvency.

I’m going to go against the grain here and say @Slothmomma that I think it was pretty bad manners of your iron not to reciprocate re small birthday gift/card. Did you comment on it to him? Was he embarrassed?