Sex while asleep

[Rachellilllian]

I woke up a night ago as my partner turned me over and started having sex with me, I was fast asleep when he started. They was no hug or fondle just straight in. 18 months together and he has never done this before, but I feel uncomfortable. When I asked me about it the morning, he just said sorry that he didn’t know who had started it.

Don’t rise to this attention seeking rape apologist/rape fantasist. Hopefully MN will be along to ban him/her soon.

I’ve reported this for abuse. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Nice bit of DARVO there. You accuse a rape victim of drip feeding, and you are the victim on this thread?

In her first post she provided all necessary information as to the fact she'd been raped. Providing further information in subsequent posts is no 'drip feeding'

You're an argumentative rape apologist who is now having a tantrum.

Hope this makes things clearer for you.

Abuse? I actually laughed out loud. Here we have the OP who has gone through one of the worst things a woman can go through and you’re crying about me being abusive to you because I called you out on your BS? Laughing out loud.

I’m not one bit ashamed of myself and other posters agree with me so it’s clearly a you problem.

You are vile. I stand by that 100%.

Why don’t you just leave the thread? Your responses are not wanted here.

I agree that posters shouldn't rise to the DARVOist's weirdness any more. Report please to @MNHQ and let them deal.

You're an argumentative rape apologist who is now having a tantrum.

Oh yes...

@DontBlameMe79 you are derailing this thread which is unfair on the OP who needs support, not this.

There is no different point of view though to what was said in the initial OP. It was clear and straightforward and the fact that there were other red flags is not a surprise and was obvious from the start it was going to be that way.

This isnt a discussion around definitions of rape and consent it is a clear cut case where the OP needs proper support both to access help she needs such as Rape Crisis and in blocking and ditching such a horrible man and understanding as to whether she wishes to take anything further.

@Rachellilllian I am so sorry this has happened but the fact that you are clear now what type of man he is and can hopefully find the strength to move on. And sorry about what your father did - the fact that he knew and did this is such a violation

Gosh you are vile.

As long as you are right then who cares that your repeated nonsense is, again, derailing the thread as long as you bang your drum as loud as you want...

some of you really need to take a good look in the mirror and see youselves

It's just those posters' POV.

How to report a poster / thread: hit the report button

How to begin the process of reporting a rapist: contact Rape Crisis, Women's Aid, and the Police

👌

Absolutely.

And OP, if this thread does get deleted, which I hope it doesn’t, please do start a new one in Relationships. Hopefully a certain attention seeking narc will have been banned by then.

You didn't offer another point of view. You minimised an account of a CLEAR case of non consensual sex - rape if you will - with your own experience of consensual sexual activity. These 2 things are not in the same ball park. Your consensual sex life has no relevance to a rape victim. Much like a lover of S&M has nothing to say about that activity to a domestic violence victim that is relevant on a DV thread. Or someone who likes al fresco sex posting about their enjoyment on a thread by someone who was dragged into a ditch and assaulted. You have further attacked the OP by accusing her of drip feeding, to deflect attention from your own lack of basic tact and humanity in posting about your CONSENSUAL love life to a distressed RAPE victim. I don't have a red mist about anyone here but the OP's partner. For you, just cold contempt.

I was going to post this too. I see at least two pretenders

Well done for making the call.

They're right - you don't have to do anything except process. Reach out for help and support wherever you need it.

Don't hesitate to call them again if you need to talk. Also don't hesitate to call the police if he harasses you in anyway.

Equally if you want to curl up with a hot choc and watch trashy tv and ignore the world for a while that's what you should do.

You can do whatever you want to do to get yourself through it.

Yep, let's ignore the little tantrum.

I'm so sorry you suffered from childhood sex abuse too, OP. Rape Crisis and Women's Aid are definitely there to help.

It can take time and effort to heal from that abuse and develop better boundaries to keep yourself safe, but it can be done.

Best wishes.

Gosh OP, that is horrific. I am so sorry for what you have been through. Well done for speaking to Crisis and arranging to see a counsellor. Some longer-term therapy might be invaluable as well. Gather around you all the trustworthy support you can. You are not alone in this, although I know it can feel like it.

Well done, OP. It must have been a very hard thing to do and I commend you. I hope you continue to get the support you need.

To fellow posters: I think we should take the heat out of the tone of this thread a bit, don't you?

@Rachellilllian I agree that it makes more sense for a poster looking for help to post in Relationships. Posting 'Sex While Asleep' on AIBU will attract all the pervs unfortunately.