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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Reasons never to go into prostitution, the horrors of it and UKpunting Rant.

437 replies

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 16:14

I have seen many posts talking about working as a escort or sex worker and some of them being in a positive light and some women doing this while married or having a partner.

Well i wanted to write this not just as a rant for myself and to get it off my chest but to let other's know who might consider doing it that there is not that many positives to it. Quite a long detailed post but a necessary one.

I first started doing it 12 years ago and since i have come back the last 2 years i dont want to go into details of exact reasons of why i did it but i had my reasons. I want to give a honest account and hope not to be judged. People in my private life would never guess i do this i am not a typical stereotype nor do i have any addictions or have a husband or partner leeching off me. It was my decision and not taken lightly but there was reasons why i needed money this way.

When i first started it there was more money to earn and yes i earnt a good living for a while and put money away but it did come with it's problems and dealing with some nasty men is one of them. I am a private person and do this in secret only a few trusted people know the rest do not.

Since being back on a short term basis it has definately become much much tougher to bare. I work independently from adultwork website and work from hotels or apartments. Some days you earn ok other days not so good. The market is over run with many sex workers and you are played against each other by the men.

The men that book us there is probably only around 10 to 15% of what i would call decent men. When i say decent i mean ones that do not smell like a sewer or demand to do anything they want and get as much in the time as there minutes give them.

There is so many women now offering unprotected services not just oral but even bareback, some of these women will do anything like Rimming, letting men film them, letting men face choke them and swallowing lots of mens fluids and so on and this seems to be popular and what a lot of men want. Some prices are so cheap at 40 or 50 pounds for these 15 minute quickies, it's just awful. So much desperation out there.

I try to make my profile look not as sexually graphic and i do not offer a lot of these things required but even then you still get men trying it on and getting pissed off if you do not do exactly what they want. They seem to have this mind set if one woman has done something more full throttle or hardcore that we all should otherwise we are ripping them off.

Before you even get a client in the door you have to screen the many phone calls and texts. So many of these calls are not even paying clients, probably only about 40% of men calling are actual clients that visit women and pay the rest they are men that just get off on pretending they will book and want to talk dirty. You even have the nutters with anger issues that phone up wanting to start a argument so they can call you nasty names and threaten you. A lot of women will use safety apps to screen men who have many reports against them for either time wasting, no show bookings and pretending to be outside your road but there not even there they just get off on wasting your time. Then you have the dangerous reports where they have robbed women and attacked them, the ones that paid and tried to blackmail you after for a refund saying they will inform hotel after they had what they had off you, men that try removing the condom when having sex with you, men paying with a banking scam app where you do not even get paid, men that walk out on many women and insult you or pretend they left money in there car (a sick fetish where they have no intention to pay but get off on seeing a sex worker) and the horrible men from UK punting who use that site to harrass and blackmail for a better service. ( more about them at the end)

Then when you do get a client you hope he will be pleasant and at least not smell like the local sewer and pay up.

Now lets do percentages on clients.

Clean men who do not smell from there mouth, penis, bum, body. (After a shower)
20% i would say if that. Some men have no understanding that heavy breathing halitosis all over you is not in with the price or leaving skid marks on your towels and bedding then down below smelling of dried urine. There is not much embarrassment when you pull them up on it. A sorry that is not very genuine is what you get or just a Oh never realised.

Nice pleasant men who just want a nice time and respect that although they have paid they are not there to use you like a blow up doll and take advantage. I would say 15% possibly. I cannot say all men that visit are horrible vile people there is a few nice ones in there that treat you like a human but they are rare which is the sad point about this.

Married men that have zero respect for you and there wife. 80%. Yes you heard right. I don't like to see married men especially the type that boast about seeing lots of sex workers even hundreds and expect oral without a condom and even try to rub there bare penis on your lady bits and when you tell them not to they think you are ruining there fun and pull faces or keep asking. These are some of the married men that openly tell you they get regular sex with there wife but they want variety all the time some of these men have over 200 feedbacks on adultwork. They have no shame telling me all this as they must think i am just fine with this because what i do. No i take your money but think you are pond life for your lack of respect for your wife and women in general.

Horrible men that want to treat you like a submissive porn star even though that is not your advert. 50% i would say. Many when turned on change personality can even become spiteful gripping very hard, shoving your head down as hard as possible, pulling you around like a rag doll leaving finger bruises. When you tell some they might stop but you have killed the moment as they start going soft. What does that tell you? You also need to be on your guard that they will not try to stealth you because that does happen and when finished make sure you do not leave the client to get dressed while you are in bathroom as some will search for the money to take back.

Health risks. Well what can i say the more men you see the more risk some will have of catching STI's. Luckily i have not caught anything so far but i do not do so many of the risky sex acts but i know many women that have caught infections.

Now the dreaded UKpunting men. These lot are the worst of the worst not only no respect for sex workers but there whole intention is mostly abusing women and writing detailed reviews of a very private session all to make them feel good about themselves and the alpha male in charge. Lets make it clear this is not just any review site. It really is set up to take a lot from women and pay as little as possible. Normal review sites do not call women C*s or greedy bitches or low life whores because we dare charge them or put our prices up by £10, these lot do.

The men on there know exactly why most women do not want men from there booking them because a lot are dangerous they have form for blackmailing, harassing, stalking women and writing lies because a sex worker does not want to get face choked or have to french kiss them because they smell so bad and are so repulsive. They have also wrote personal details on the forum that has outed womens true identity. The previous owner used to have a thread aimed at getting verification photos taken from adultwork by accident of womens faces that were supposed to be hidden from the public but Adultwork had leaked that info by accident and UKpunting had software ready to grab these photos. Some women had contacted the owner at UK punting telling him to please remove my face photo as it was outed by accident on Adultwork and his response was no take me to court.

Ukpunting even had a thread on our safety app tools and telling dangerous clients how to get away with not showing up on it putting us in extra danger and so many on there have bad reports.

The website is really just there to fuel these mens ego's and fantasies by writing detailed reviews of what they do to us. They purposely try to disguise themselves by chaging times and dates because deep down they know they are predators. The most hypocritical thing is they expect discretion when it comes to them but they have no problem discussing every detail of what was said in the booking giving away personal info on general chit chst and discussing the slight bit of cellulite they might have seen or your body parts were not perfect enough.

If any man that stays on that site long enough it becomes obvious the majority of reviews and discussions are men that clearly are there to take advantage of us as much as possible. Decent men do not stay on that site and post reviews that cause us harm and danger they would leave. So these men are all guilty and as far as i am concerened they are happy to make our job harder and put us in bad situations. There is thousands of men on there and a lot married. They even come up with posts on how to get away with hiding it from there wives. I had one client once that told me his wife caught him and he swore on kids lives he would never do it again he told me he was back doing it again 6 weeks after this time using secretive sim and punting phone and planning his time visiting a lady by pretending to be working late and taken up a gym membership. These men have become too entitled and are only satisfied if the woman is literally selling her soul and giving the best performance of her life. Women are marked down if they have not taken enough inches down there throat or there eyes are not watering or there not gagging, this is how sick the website is and the men reviewing a lot of the time are some of the most repulsive to look at but there the least grateful, how does that even happen?

More alarming is the UKP men that do find a little young " hottie" age 18, 19, 0r 20 years of age that takes a great face f***g and throat pie as they call it the sad old men queue up to punt and review her, she gets quite busy all comparing notes and then she gives a few a STI infection there is hints mentioned it is her but within a few days that is old gossip they are all still all back there booking her and knowing she has a drug problem too, she is very unreliable keeps men waiting ages and her house is a dump but as long as they get there needs met they don't care and a lot of these are married. They knowingly take advantage of the fact she has a drug problem. This is the great UKpunting at there very best. They do not care if young girls have drug problems or are being pimped as long as what they pay gets them a dirty session that is all they care about. So many are just out right perverts 60 and 70 year old men booking 18 to 20 year old young women and never satisfied unless she delivers a oscar worthy performance.

With new laws data/right to be forgotten the online bill i have a feeling UKPunting could be in trouble at some point as there abuse of women is causing harm to so many.

I am making plans to leave the business and i cannot recommend this to anybody thinking of doing it. The only women it might suit are women that already like swinging, dogging and enjoy risky sex with strangers and will enjoy getting paid for something they already do.

The positives side of it that i will add are working when you want to and the hours you want, making more then minimum wage and coming across the small percentage of men that smell nice, behave nice and maybe that bring you a nice gift like chocolates, flowers, perfume or even tip you but this is rare i might add.

What i might add some sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours by writing such degrading filth on there advertising details of how graphic they will get on a booking and posting photos of there whole naked body parts fully exposed and photos and short clips of them taking a throat f Some of these older women have teenage kids and all there faces on show for the world to see. I feel deeply sorry for there kids as a parent exposing themselves in such a degrading way. If these women suddenly cannot do sex work anymore they have there face and body parts out there forever. Who would want to give these women a job in the real world if they know or find out about what they have done. Do they care if there kids get bullied or everybody finds out what there mum does? Obviously not.

There is women that work and there hubby is very cool with it, they say he is just open minded and knows it is only a job and he lets me make my own choices and very supportive. What they do not tell you some of these men do not work or only work part time and are sitting on there arses waiting for the money roll in while they play Russian roulette on what stranger might attack you or catching infections.

I Hope this post will help some women to decide if they really need or want to do this for money this is the reality of it.

OP posts:
PauliesWalnuts · 21/09/2022 22:24

This reply has been deleted

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ThickCutSteakChips · 21/09/2022 22:27

Neverendingdust · 21/09/2022 21:21

The married ones that smell- Jesus at least you’re getting money off them- their wives have to do it for free 😳🤮

Prostitution is an ages old profession, it’s just a shame the professional conduct isn’t reciprocated.

Because when you are purchasing another human being for your use, why do you need to be 'professional'. You are the customer, customers don't need to be professional, they are always right!

And if the service ain't up to scratch, you can go and review that human being's body on a website, as if they were an air fryer or something.

JacquelinePot · 21/09/2022 22:27

An important message op, thanks for sharing. Too much is done these days to glamourise exploitation and promote it to teenage girls as an empowering way to live and get rich quick.

ThreeLocusts · 21/09/2022 22:29

OP I think you're brave to put this all here, and you really are doing a service to those of us who have daughters vulnerable to the 'happy hooker' myth.

I'm sorry you're in this situation and hope you get out of it sooner than you think.

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 21/09/2022 22:30

Jesus men are disgusting

oakleaffy · 21/09/2022 22:42

pompei8309 · 21/09/2022 22:20

I fail to see the reason for this post??? i doubt sleeping with 2-3 different men a day is seen as being glamorous by anyone that has two grams of brains. Sorry but no sympathy from me , it is a choice that you made, there’s jobs out there ( less paid of course) that won’t strip you off your decency , instead you picked the easiest one .

It’s far from “ Easy”
Do you think having to endure reeking, unpleasant males is “ Easy?”.
Women who do sex work obviously have their own reasons-
I’d image many are addicted to class A’s , or have been abused at a young age, There are a myriad reasons why a woman might be a sex worker, but watching Louis Theroux documentary about sex workers showed it to be even back then extremely exploitative.
Young women often think it’s a way to earn easy money.
It absolutely isn’t.
But.. It’s not our place to judge.
It seems a very hard job to me-
Emotionally draining.
Men can really be pigs.

00100001 · 21/09/2022 22:46

@pompei8309 you're a bad person, why is it ok for you to judge someone so harshly?

Women should be supporting each other. Not acting like the fucking men and putting women who are in vulnerable situations down and blaming them for being abused by predatory perveted men.

sHREDDIES19 · 21/09/2022 22:51

I read all your post and am truly disgusted, but not surprised. Men are the absolute scum here but why are women feeding this sick and twisted addiction? Cut them off at source. But that’s never going to happen is it? Such a degrading and dehumanising way to earn money. When and where will this end? Just when you think these men can’t get any sicker there’s seemingly someone prepared to make a deal with the devil and agree for a quick buck.

oakleaffy · 21/09/2022 22:51

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 21/09/2022 22:30

Jesus men are disgusting

Aren’t they just!
You’d think self pride would make them at least shower properly.
Horrible.
Probably a few men on this thread by the looks.
We see you!

Flamingyon · 21/09/2022 22:53

sHREDDIES19 · 21/09/2022 22:51

I read all your post and am truly disgusted, but not surprised. Men are the absolute scum here but why are women feeding this sick and twisted addiction? Cut them off at source. But that’s never going to happen is it? Such a degrading and dehumanising way to earn money. When and where will this end? Just when you think these men can’t get any sicker there’s seemingly someone prepared to make a deal with the devil and agree for a quick buck.

How is it possible to cut them off at the source? The only way I can see is education of men from birth to not treat women horrendously but sadly I can’t see that ever happening.

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 23:02

pompei8309 · 21/09/2022 22:20

I fail to see the reason for this post??? i doubt sleeping with 2-3 different men a day is seen as being glamorous by anyone that has two grams of brains. Sorry but no sympathy from me , it is a choice that you made, there’s jobs out there ( less paid of course) that won’t strip you off your decency , instead you picked the easiest one .

Maybe you failed to see it because either you never read it properly or you think the post is for your benefit. Nearly everybody else has got why i posted it and understood the importance.

It's called trying to help somebody else in a bad situation going in blind and if they still want to then least they are armed with the reality of it.

I have not asked for any sympathy and do not expect any. Just because you do not like it or agree with it does not mean i cannot help women that might need to see this before doing it.

OP posts:
ferntwist · 21/09/2022 23:17

This thread is so sad. Thank you for posting OP and daring to be so open. I hope it helps others who might be considering it

pawkins · 21/09/2022 23:18

I hope you can get out soon OP.

During the summer, while sitting on a bus in London on my way to Kensington high street, a woman got on and sat in front of me. She looked very ordinary, mid twenties, wearing jeans and hair in a very tight ponytail. She was using her phone and I could see her texts clearly. Someone was in town for the weekend and had texted to meet her. She said she was busy on Friday but would him on Sat and texted him the name of the hotel. The gist of the texts made it obvious it was for paid sex. I remember thinking she was someone's daughter and what had driven her to this.

Coatdegroan · 21/09/2022 23:22

@Snowdust I agree with you, you didn't ask for sympathy. Your account was very shocking and I learnt a lot from it that I had no clue about. Thank you for taking the time to write it I hope that you can find a way out.i don't think some people understand how it is to be anyone other that themselves. Have the confidence to step away as soon as you can. You write well.

Smineusername · 21/09/2022 23:58

Thanks for this @Snowdust,@Snowdusthad never heard of UK Punting before

PineOrange · 22/09/2022 00:34

Very depressing reading, and I wouldn't be adverse to this sort of information being taught in schools, to inform, warn and highlight how women are expoited, especially in this case whereby you are trying to explain the glamourising of the industry.

The uk punting site needs monitoring and just as the men have digitized to make their experience 'better' so does the need for sex workers to communicate and collate data on the more sadastic customers that exist.

Bad customers should be blacklisted.

ganvough · 22/09/2022 03:29

I was long ago disabused of the notion that sex work is only something vulnerable women are manipulated into. So many educated, well off women also turn to it because they think it's glamorous and they make good money off what they see as few hours graft.

I studied at a top UK uni and shared a flat with some girls - foreign students but middle class families. This was before smart phones and social media was still v new. One of the girls, her father was a very well off businessman in her home country, and every evening she'd get glammed up and picked up in a car. Come back the next morning and tell us of these fab parties she'd been at and asked us to join. Clearly some kind of madam, getting commission for recruiting her educated, clean, uni pals.

I knew immediately it was escorting and declined, but the other girl decided to join. She had expensive tastes and was from a formerly communist country and refused to do the bar/waitressing/shop assistant gigs the rest of us uni students would do. Anyway she got paid well for her services, branded bags and trips away, that sort of thing. Until one day she came back in tears because some guy had performed a very degrading act on her without permission. I thought that would be the end of this work but she carried on - as the perks outweighed the risks. She once traveled to another country with a rich older guy and never told me details but I think he kept her prisoner for a few days. She was a very different person by the time we graduated, much more hardened, and I thought the Chanel handbags she got would never bring back the innocence of her youth. She wasn't the only one on campus - there were so many, I was horrified.

It was depressing AF because before uni I used to volunteer at an organisation that worked to rehabilitate sex workers from red light distracts and show them ways to protect themselves from HIV/AIDS. Except these were mostly trafficked women or those born into it or forced into it due to extreme poverty. So seeing educated middle-upper class women with the world at their feet, do it voluntarily instead of taking on a normal job was shocking. It's then I realised that as long as it is an option for what is seen to be easy money, women will always turn to it. And I honestly don't think we'll ever dissuade women from getting into it, because they always think, 'I'll be the exception it all works out for'.

ganvough · 22/09/2022 03:43

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9412311/Woke-universities-supporting-sex-work-students.html

So imagine my horror when I read this. When I was at uni it was still very hush-hush and not advertised. And it still attracted so many women. It does make me wonder what are young men at uni doing and if they take it up in the same numbers as women. Doubtful. But surely uni is the one place they have equal opportunities, so why do women see it as a viable option and men don't?

Sonnex · 22/09/2022 04:32

And soon we'll get someone on saying, well I do it and it's fine, sex work is empowering, I make great money etc. It's depressing that some young women still think it's easy money and go into this and then lie about it on social media to try and convince themselves its all fine. It's not is it. It's grim.

I do judge you im afraid OP as with no prostitutes there's no market for married men to cheat with prostitutes. But I can see how vulnerable or desperate (or deluded) women get sucked into it though and I hope you manage to get away and make a living doing something that isn't degrading. And it's the men at fault really isn't it.

Fbunny · 22/09/2022 06:06

Sonnex · 22/09/2022 04:32

And soon we'll get someone on saying, well I do it and it's fine, sex work is empowering, I make great money etc. It's depressing that some young women still think it's easy money and go into this and then lie about it on social media to try and convince themselves its all fine. It's not is it. It's grim.

I do judge you im afraid OP as with no prostitutes there's no market for married men to cheat with prostitutes. But I can see how vulnerable or desperate (or deluded) women get sucked into it though and I hope you manage to get away and make a living doing something that isn't degrading. And it's the men at fault really isn't it.

That’s true … but I’ll bet you it will I’ll be some dude pretending to be a woman !

absolutely disgusting that so many men behave like this and think it’s acceptable

tara66 · 22/09/2022 06:17

Surely this must be the very lowest end of the market - what men really go about like this - smelly and dirty etc?

UserError012345 · 22/09/2022 06:49

OP not prying but you said you needed to return after having a break. Did you though? Tbh all that you've described, I would have thought, should be enough to ensure you never ever thought this was an option.

We're there really no alternatives?

ChipsRoastOrBoiled · 22/09/2022 06:51

I thought I was fairly well informed about the horrors of prostitution. Until now. I'd never heard of this horrific UKPunting website and now i feel sick.

If we women ever thought we were seen as equals by men, how wrong we were.

And now I see how some of the things I read on social media about far-left leaning, 'woke' academia might have some substance to them! How can educated, teaching professionals be promoting prostitution?

We need to stop referring to it as sex work; calling it that is an attempt to legitimise it and we cant let it happen.

Thank you, OP, for sharing your experiences. This thread has shocked me to the core.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 22/09/2022 06:55

Jesus
i mean I knew it was bad
but you have nailed it
thanks for being so honest

and as for the married men , it’s a total no brainer and almost irrelevant

puntingUK however , didn’t know about it and almost wish I didn’t

Thisisworsethananticpated · 22/09/2022 07:06

I do judge you im afraid OP as with no prostitutes there's no market for married men to cheat with prostitutes

this fascinates me . As it somehow says that the fate of ‘married women’ carries more value than the fate of a woman who’s being bullied into bare back anal for £50

i cannot get my head around this view

people are people
if a man wants to fuck he will do whatever he can
some men certainly view sex as a basic human right

why are ‘married women’ so much more important ?