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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Reasons never to go into prostitution, the horrors of it and UKpunting Rant.

437 replies

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 16:14

I have seen many posts talking about working as a escort or sex worker and some of them being in a positive light and some women doing this while married or having a partner.

Well i wanted to write this not just as a rant for myself and to get it off my chest but to let other's know who might consider doing it that there is not that many positives to it. Quite a long detailed post but a necessary one.

I first started doing it 12 years ago and since i have come back the last 2 years i dont want to go into details of exact reasons of why i did it but i had my reasons. I want to give a honest account and hope not to be judged. People in my private life would never guess i do this i am not a typical stereotype nor do i have any addictions or have a husband or partner leeching off me. It was my decision and not taken lightly but there was reasons why i needed money this way.

When i first started it there was more money to earn and yes i earnt a good living for a while and put money away but it did come with it's problems and dealing with some nasty men is one of them. I am a private person and do this in secret only a few trusted people know the rest do not.

Since being back on a short term basis it has definately become much much tougher to bare. I work independently from adultwork website and work from hotels or apartments. Some days you earn ok other days not so good. The market is over run with many sex workers and you are played against each other by the men.

The men that book us there is probably only around 10 to 15% of what i would call decent men. When i say decent i mean ones that do not smell like a sewer or demand to do anything they want and get as much in the time as there minutes give them.

There is so many women now offering unprotected services not just oral but even bareback, some of these women will do anything like Rimming, letting men film them, letting men face choke them and swallowing lots of mens fluids and so on and this seems to be popular and what a lot of men want. Some prices are so cheap at 40 or 50 pounds for these 15 minute quickies, it's just awful. So much desperation out there.

I try to make my profile look not as sexually graphic and i do not offer a lot of these things required but even then you still get men trying it on and getting pissed off if you do not do exactly what they want. They seem to have this mind set if one woman has done something more full throttle or hardcore that we all should otherwise we are ripping them off.

Before you even get a client in the door you have to screen the many phone calls and texts. So many of these calls are not even paying clients, probably only about 40% of men calling are actual clients that visit women and pay the rest they are men that just get off on pretending they will book and want to talk dirty. You even have the nutters with anger issues that phone up wanting to start a argument so they can call you nasty names and threaten you. A lot of women will use safety apps to screen men who have many reports against them for either time wasting, no show bookings and pretending to be outside your road but there not even there they just get off on wasting your time. Then you have the dangerous reports where they have robbed women and attacked them, the ones that paid and tried to blackmail you after for a refund saying they will inform hotel after they had what they had off you, men that try removing the condom when having sex with you, men paying with a banking scam app where you do not even get paid, men that walk out on many women and insult you or pretend they left money in there car (a sick fetish where they have no intention to pay but get off on seeing a sex worker) and the horrible men from UK punting who use that site to harrass and blackmail for a better service. ( more about them at the end)

Then when you do get a client you hope he will be pleasant and at least not smell like the local sewer and pay up.

Now lets do percentages on clients.

Clean men who do not smell from there mouth, penis, bum, body. (After a shower)
20% i would say if that. Some men have no understanding that heavy breathing halitosis all over you is not in with the price or leaving skid marks on your towels and bedding then down below smelling of dried urine. There is not much embarrassment when you pull them up on it. A sorry that is not very genuine is what you get or just a Oh never realised.

Nice pleasant men who just want a nice time and respect that although they have paid they are not there to use you like a blow up doll and take advantage. I would say 15% possibly. I cannot say all men that visit are horrible vile people there is a few nice ones in there that treat you like a human but they are rare which is the sad point about this.

Married men that have zero respect for you and there wife. 80%. Yes you heard right. I don't like to see married men especially the type that boast about seeing lots of sex workers even hundreds and expect oral without a condom and even try to rub there bare penis on your lady bits and when you tell them not to they think you are ruining there fun and pull faces or keep asking. These are some of the married men that openly tell you they get regular sex with there wife but they want variety all the time some of these men have over 200 feedbacks on adultwork. They have no shame telling me all this as they must think i am just fine with this because what i do. No i take your money but think you are pond life for your lack of respect for your wife and women in general.

Horrible men that want to treat you like a submissive porn star even though that is not your advert. 50% i would say. Many when turned on change personality can even become spiteful gripping very hard, shoving your head down as hard as possible, pulling you around like a rag doll leaving finger bruises. When you tell some they might stop but you have killed the moment as they start going soft. What does that tell you? You also need to be on your guard that they will not try to stealth you because that does happen and when finished make sure you do not leave the client to get dressed while you are in bathroom as some will search for the money to take back.

Health risks. Well what can i say the more men you see the more risk some will have of catching STI's. Luckily i have not caught anything so far but i do not do so many of the risky sex acts but i know many women that have caught infections.

Now the dreaded UKpunting men. These lot are the worst of the worst not only no respect for sex workers but there whole intention is mostly abusing women and writing detailed reviews of a very private session all to make them feel good about themselves and the alpha male in charge. Lets make it clear this is not just any review site. It really is set up to take a lot from women and pay as little as possible. Normal review sites do not call women C*s or greedy bitches or low life whores because we dare charge them or put our prices up by £10, these lot do.

The men on there know exactly why most women do not want men from there booking them because a lot are dangerous they have form for blackmailing, harassing, stalking women and writing lies because a sex worker does not want to get face choked or have to french kiss them because they smell so bad and are so repulsive. They have also wrote personal details on the forum that has outed womens true identity. The previous owner used to have a thread aimed at getting verification photos taken from adultwork by accident of womens faces that were supposed to be hidden from the public but Adultwork had leaked that info by accident and UKpunting had software ready to grab these photos. Some women had contacted the owner at UK punting telling him to please remove my face photo as it was outed by accident on Adultwork and his response was no take me to court.

Ukpunting even had a thread on our safety app tools and telling dangerous clients how to get away with not showing up on it putting us in extra danger and so many on there have bad reports.

The website is really just there to fuel these mens ego's and fantasies by writing detailed reviews of what they do to us. They purposely try to disguise themselves by chaging times and dates because deep down they know they are predators. The most hypocritical thing is they expect discretion when it comes to them but they have no problem discussing every detail of what was said in the booking giving away personal info on general chit chst and discussing the slight bit of cellulite they might have seen or your body parts were not perfect enough.

If any man that stays on that site long enough it becomes obvious the majority of reviews and discussions are men that clearly are there to take advantage of us as much as possible. Decent men do not stay on that site and post reviews that cause us harm and danger they would leave. So these men are all guilty and as far as i am concerened they are happy to make our job harder and put us in bad situations. There is thousands of men on there and a lot married. They even come up with posts on how to get away with hiding it from there wives. I had one client once that told me his wife caught him and he swore on kids lives he would never do it again he told me he was back doing it again 6 weeks after this time using secretive sim and punting phone and planning his time visiting a lady by pretending to be working late and taken up a gym membership. These men have become too entitled and are only satisfied if the woman is literally selling her soul and giving the best performance of her life. Women are marked down if they have not taken enough inches down there throat or there eyes are not watering or there not gagging, this is how sick the website is and the men reviewing a lot of the time are some of the most repulsive to look at but there the least grateful, how does that even happen?

More alarming is the UKP men that do find a little young " hottie" age 18, 19, 0r 20 years of age that takes a great face f***g and throat pie as they call it the sad old men queue up to punt and review her, she gets quite busy all comparing notes and then she gives a few a STI infection there is hints mentioned it is her but within a few days that is old gossip they are all still all back there booking her and knowing she has a drug problem too, she is very unreliable keeps men waiting ages and her house is a dump but as long as they get there needs met they don't care and a lot of these are married. They knowingly take advantage of the fact she has a drug problem. This is the great UKpunting at there very best. They do not care if young girls have drug problems or are being pimped as long as what they pay gets them a dirty session that is all they care about. So many are just out right perverts 60 and 70 year old men booking 18 to 20 year old young women and never satisfied unless she delivers a oscar worthy performance.

With new laws data/right to be forgotten the online bill i have a feeling UKPunting could be in trouble at some point as there abuse of women is causing harm to so many.

I am making plans to leave the business and i cannot recommend this to anybody thinking of doing it. The only women it might suit are women that already like swinging, dogging and enjoy risky sex with strangers and will enjoy getting paid for something they already do.

The positives side of it that i will add are working when you want to and the hours you want, making more then minimum wage and coming across the small percentage of men that smell nice, behave nice and maybe that bring you a nice gift like chocolates, flowers, perfume or even tip you but this is rare i might add.

What i might add some sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours by writing such degrading filth on there advertising details of how graphic they will get on a booking and posting photos of there whole naked body parts fully exposed and photos and short clips of them taking a throat f Some of these older women have teenage kids and all there faces on show for the world to see. I feel deeply sorry for there kids as a parent exposing themselves in such a degrading way. If these women suddenly cannot do sex work anymore they have there face and body parts out there forever. Who would want to give these women a job in the real world if they know or find out about what they have done. Do they care if there kids get bullied or everybody finds out what there mum does? Obviously not.

There is women that work and there hubby is very cool with it, they say he is just open minded and knows it is only a job and he lets me make my own choices and very supportive. What they do not tell you some of these men do not work or only work part time and are sitting on there arses waiting for the money roll in while they play Russian roulette on what stranger might attack you or catching infections.

I Hope this post will help some women to decide if they really need or want to do this for money this is the reality of it.

OP posts:
Snowdust · 21/09/2022 21:25

aweegc · 21/09/2022 21:06

Thanks for being brave enough to post this here OP. I hope every single Mumsnetters reads it and it gets shared off Mumsnet.

I am sick to the back teeth of hearing that "sex work is work" and that it's different to "forced prostitution". Both those statements are true to a certain extent, but they're trotted out as ways of circumnavigating the reality that comes with men paying to use woman's bodies.

I studied psychology at uni. I had a module that talked about "sex work is work" and I felt promoted prostitution. At the end of the module, there was an informal FB discussion about the module and some (more than one) on the course said that their minds had been opened by the module. Prior to studying if they'd never have considered any sex work, but now they'd be open to doing it if the financial need arose.

Voices like yours are SO important to counter the crap that is being spouted from the ivory towers of academia. Primarily from academics who promote the idea that "sex work is work" to vulnerable students (most students are at least financially vulnerable), but would never do it themselves and are definitely not promoting it as a career option for their DDs.

I hope you find your way out as soon as possible - and the remainder of your time is as safe as possible. Take care of yourself.

Thank you. I hope i manage to help some women from being brutally honest.

I am fully independent and feel for anybody being pushed by a third party to do this as it is bad enough having the attitude off a bad client assuming because he has paid me for 1 hour he has the right to do exactly what he wants and i have no voice to say anything. I do however stick up for myself and will not put up with those types but i know some are not as strong as me to say NO or that hurts me please stop.

OP posts:
Ofcourseshecan · 21/09/2022 21:27

Voices like yours are SO important to counter the crap that is being spouted from the ivory towers of academia. Primarily from academics who promote the idea that "sex work is work" to vulnerable students (most students are at least financially vulnerable), but would never do it themselves and are definitely not promoting it as a career option for their DDs.

That’s the most disgusting thing of all.

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 21:28

Neverendingdust · 21/09/2022 21:21

The married ones that smell- Jesus at least you’re getting money off them- their wives have to do it for free 😳🤮

Prostitution is an ages old profession, it’s just a shame the professional conduct isn’t reciprocated.

I often think this myself why has your wife not told you how bad you smell and how are you getting sex from your wife.

OP posts:
MMBaranova · 21/09/2022 21:32

Seconding what aweegc put.

ExtraJalapenos · 21/09/2022 21:33

Thank you for sharing this OP.

I think its incredibly important to actually see this from the point of view of someone who has actually done it.

I really do hope that your post is read far and wide - women have every right to be in charge of their bodies no matter what they choose to do with them. But no man has the right to demand things you don't agree to, just because he is paying. Its not the case in any other job, so why do they push that boundary with sex workers?

So much food for thought. Hope you get out soon, and stay safe OP.

Crikeyalmighty · 21/09/2022 21:36

Thank you to the industry posters on here- it's brave to post. I hope you all get out of it. You all come across as women who are worth more than this on your CV.

I will be honest and say though that unless you were trafficked it was voluntary, so be honest - it comes down in most cases to greed. Thinking it's going to be good money for not that many hours and flexible or something you can get away with claiming benefits etc. so whilst I do feel sorry that you had some truly awful times, it was something you could have stopped surely at any point- but didn't for a long time. We need teenage girls to understand that sex work - be it webcamming or OF etc will likely 'bite them on the arse' when they are older and will affect I feel how they see men too .

.

anon666 · 21/09/2022 21:36

I think it was very brave of you to post so honestly and I commend that.

Thank you for sharing. I'm way too old and straight laced to be considering going into it. I'm not judgy at all though, I think sex workers are already stigmatised way too much. ☹️

But I think you're right about it being glamorised.

Good on you for setting the record straight.

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 21:38

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 21/09/2022 20:36

Sex workers should all have hidden cameras in their rooms and post pictures on the internet of the johns and review them back. Show the animals up for what the are. UK Johns website.

I think some have started recording face pictures of some of the men who are members of UKpunting to warn other women who they are. Then they have a choice to avoid seeing them. This seems to be happening more because the men on there are so devious constantly changing numbers to avoid the truth being reporting of how they behave in a booking. I got contacted last month off another women that i do not know but she got my details from adverts and she sent a picture of UK punting member with many many reviews that books women in the area i was in for a short while. Least sometimes we can avoid some of them.

OP posts:
Londonderry34 · 21/09/2022 21:44

No negatives from me. I admire your honesty and hope life gets easier for you. All the best.x

Anon778833 · 21/09/2022 21:45

@Snowdust this is a really interesting post and I can see why you would want to share this information. It does annoy me when women try to present sex work as something that is fun to do and that they are the ones in control. Because of course that is never really going to be the case.

TacCat49 · 21/09/2022 21:46

Thank you for your interesting post. It liberally turns my stomach when I think of you servicing the great unwashed. I know this has been happening since the beginning of time but what if this service wasn't available, where would these men turn to? Just an interesting thought. It seems to me that these men are legally taking out their vile ways on an unprotected level of society.

Flamingyon · 21/09/2022 21:46

Thank you for posting this OP. As a preteen I was forced into ‘the sex industry’ by a much older ‘boyfriend’ who basically kidnapped me and sold me for sex or swapped me having sex for things/services and I hate the way the ‘sex industry’ is glossed over and glamourised. Many women would be shocked at what their dads/husbands/brothers etc are willing to do/how they behave behind their backs and the girls and women I know who were or are in the ‘industry’ no longer trust men because of that behaviour.

macthekwife · 21/09/2022 21:51

I think people posting that "are you drunk?" emoji and those going 'pardon?' are gross humans.

Opaljewel · 21/09/2022 21:53

I couldn't even make it through all that. Men are absolutely disgusting.

mintich · 21/09/2022 21:57

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Handsnotwands · 21/09/2022 22:01

Jesus stop with the “who’s the girl” shit. It’s ghoulish. Worse than ghoulish.

best of luck to you OP, I hope you find your peace somewhere soon.

ScurryfungeMaster · 21/09/2022 22:02

Thank you for being so honest about your experiences. The sex work industry has become so glamorised and a lot of young women now consider it to be a good career option without understanding the realities of it or harm it can cause.

Speedweed · 21/09/2022 22:02

Thank you for posting this @Snowdust, it certainly makes a lot more sense to me than other public accounts (confessions of a call girl etc), which claim the men were always lovely, respectful and woman on top vaginal sex was the exotic norm.

I can totally see how the internet has changed how sex workers are forced to operate - the otherwise normal men have probably been skimmed off by tinder, bumble etc as it's easy enough to get casual sex for free if you don't smell and you're not fussy. Then you're left with all the dregs who have to pay for it.

What's sad is the sheer number of young women who must be going into sex work based on an outdated narrative.

Glad you're getting your escape plan together, stay safe and thank you again.

oakleaffy · 21/09/2022 22:02

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 16:54

Exactly, it is not so much about opinions on selling your body it is about the truth of what the reality is and i hope this post will help some women who might be thinking of doing this as quick and easy money especially with the cost of living crisis.

It sounds hellish.
I can’t imagine anything worse than a smelly, aggressive dirty man doing that degrading dangerous stuff to any woman.
I hope you get free, and I’d imagine a lot of women embroiled in that grim way of life surely must be addicted to class A’s


Personal services” with Cynthia Payne looked like it was innocent and respectful- But obviously not.
A GP was addicted to sex workers locally - he was married with children, but jailed for giving dipipanone (?) to sec workers after being blackmailed.
Pre internet.

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 22:05

Flamingyon · 21/09/2022 21:46

Thank you for posting this OP. As a preteen I was forced into ‘the sex industry’ by a much older ‘boyfriend’ who basically kidnapped me and sold me for sex or swapped me having sex for things/services and I hate the way the ‘sex industry’ is glossed over and glamourised. Many women would be shocked at what their dads/husbands/brothers etc are willing to do/how they behave behind their backs and the girls and women I know who were or are in the ‘industry’ no longer trust men because of that behaviour.

So sorry to hear this. You are so right because a lot of these men have 2 sides, the family man who seems funny and everyone's mate to them then there other side when they are paying they think they can do and say anything.

I know the first time i worked i had a few men that openly started speaking about underage girls and shocked when i did not like that type of talk because maybe some allow them to behave like that but i will not ever allow that type of behaviour. Some wives will never know there real husbands as they hide who they really are.

OP posts:
mintich · 21/09/2022 22:05

Sorry not trying to be ghoulish. I used to be a camgirl myself, so remember all these girls from those days.

00100001 · 21/09/2022 22:13

Do a lot of these men just do whatever they want anyway?

Mischance · 21/09/2022 22:19

Are you surprised that men who pay for sex want something they cannot get with their wives? Why else would they pay?

jibbe · 21/09/2022 22:19

Men are douche bags, wonder what would happen if there were no sex workers to serve their depravity? I’m not knocking sex workers it’s a genuine question

pompei8309 · 21/09/2022 22:20

I fail to see the reason for this post??? i doubt sleeping with 2-3 different men a day is seen as being glamorous by anyone that has two grams of brains. Sorry but no sympathy from me , it is a choice that you made, there’s jobs out there ( less paid of course) that won’t strip you off your decency , instead you picked the easiest one .