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Reasons never to go into prostitution, the horrors of it and UKpunting Rant.

437 replies

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 16:14

I have seen many posts talking about working as a escort or sex worker and some of them being in a positive light and some women doing this while married or having a partner.

Well i wanted to write this not just as a rant for myself and to get it off my chest but to let other's know who might consider doing it that there is not that many positives to it. Quite a long detailed post but a necessary one.

I first started doing it 12 years ago and since i have come back the last 2 years i dont want to go into details of exact reasons of why i did it but i had my reasons. I want to give a honest account and hope not to be judged. People in my private life would never guess i do this i am not a typical stereotype nor do i have any addictions or have a husband or partner leeching off me. It was my decision and not taken lightly but there was reasons why i needed money this way.

When i first started it there was more money to earn and yes i earnt a good living for a while and put money away but it did come with it's problems and dealing with some nasty men is one of them. I am a private person and do this in secret only a few trusted people know the rest do not.

Since being back on a short term basis it has definately become much much tougher to bare. I work independently from adultwork website and work from hotels or apartments. Some days you earn ok other days not so good. The market is over run with many sex workers and you are played against each other by the men.

The men that book us there is probably only around 10 to 15% of what i would call decent men. When i say decent i mean ones that do not smell like a sewer or demand to do anything they want and get as much in the time as there minutes give them.

There is so many women now offering unprotected services not just oral but even bareback, some of these women will do anything like Rimming, letting men film them, letting men face choke them and swallowing lots of mens fluids and so on and this seems to be popular and what a lot of men want. Some prices are so cheap at 40 or 50 pounds for these 15 minute quickies, it's just awful. So much desperation out there.

I try to make my profile look not as sexually graphic and i do not offer a lot of these things required but even then you still get men trying it on and getting pissed off if you do not do exactly what they want. They seem to have this mind set if one woman has done something more full throttle or hardcore that we all should otherwise we are ripping them off.

Before you even get a client in the door you have to screen the many phone calls and texts. So many of these calls are not even paying clients, probably only about 40% of men calling are actual clients that visit women and pay the rest they are men that just get off on pretending they will book and want to talk dirty. You even have the nutters with anger issues that phone up wanting to start a argument so they can call you nasty names and threaten you. A lot of women will use safety apps to screen men who have many reports against them for either time wasting, no show bookings and pretending to be outside your road but there not even there they just get off on wasting your time. Then you have the dangerous reports where they have robbed women and attacked them, the ones that paid and tried to blackmail you after for a refund saying they will inform hotel after they had what they had off you, men that try removing the condom when having sex with you, men paying with a banking scam app where you do not even get paid, men that walk out on many women and insult you or pretend they left money in there car (a sick fetish where they have no intention to pay but get off on seeing a sex worker) and the horrible men from UK punting who use that site to harrass and blackmail for a better service. ( more about them at the end)

Then when you do get a client you hope he will be pleasant and at least not smell like the local sewer and pay up.

Now lets do percentages on clients.

Clean men who do not smell from there mouth, penis, bum, body. (After a shower)
20% i would say if that. Some men have no understanding that heavy breathing halitosis all over you is not in with the price or leaving skid marks on your towels and bedding then down below smelling of dried urine. There is not much embarrassment when you pull them up on it. A sorry that is not very genuine is what you get or just a Oh never realised.

Nice pleasant men who just want a nice time and respect that although they have paid they are not there to use you like a blow up doll and take advantage. I would say 15% possibly. I cannot say all men that visit are horrible vile people there is a few nice ones in there that treat you like a human but they are rare which is the sad point about this.

Married men that have zero respect for you and there wife. 80%. Yes you heard right. I don't like to see married men especially the type that boast about seeing lots of sex workers even hundreds and expect oral without a condom and even try to rub there bare penis on your lady bits and when you tell them not to they think you are ruining there fun and pull faces or keep asking. These are some of the married men that openly tell you they get regular sex with there wife but they want variety all the time some of these men have over 200 feedbacks on adultwork. They have no shame telling me all this as they must think i am just fine with this because what i do. No i take your money but think you are pond life for your lack of respect for your wife and women in general.

Horrible men that want to treat you like a submissive porn star even though that is not your advert. 50% i would say. Many when turned on change personality can even become spiteful gripping very hard, shoving your head down as hard as possible, pulling you around like a rag doll leaving finger bruises. When you tell some they might stop but you have killed the moment as they start going soft. What does that tell you? You also need to be on your guard that they will not try to stealth you because that does happen and when finished make sure you do not leave the client to get dressed while you are in bathroom as some will search for the money to take back.

Health risks. Well what can i say the more men you see the more risk some will have of catching STI's. Luckily i have not caught anything so far but i do not do so many of the risky sex acts but i know many women that have caught infections.

Now the dreaded UKpunting men. These lot are the worst of the worst not only no respect for sex workers but there whole intention is mostly abusing women and writing detailed reviews of a very private session all to make them feel good about themselves and the alpha male in charge. Lets make it clear this is not just any review site. It really is set up to take a lot from women and pay as little as possible. Normal review sites do not call women C*s or greedy bitches or low life whores because we dare charge them or put our prices up by £10, these lot do.

The men on there know exactly why most women do not want men from there booking them because a lot are dangerous they have form for blackmailing, harassing, stalking women and writing lies because a sex worker does not want to get face choked or have to french kiss them because they smell so bad and are so repulsive. They have also wrote personal details on the forum that has outed womens true identity. The previous owner used to have a thread aimed at getting verification photos taken from adultwork by accident of womens faces that were supposed to be hidden from the public but Adultwork had leaked that info by accident and UKpunting had software ready to grab these photos. Some women had contacted the owner at UK punting telling him to please remove my face photo as it was outed by accident on Adultwork and his response was no take me to court.

Ukpunting even had a thread on our safety app tools and telling dangerous clients how to get away with not showing up on it putting us in extra danger and so many on there have bad reports.

The website is really just there to fuel these mens ego's and fantasies by writing detailed reviews of what they do to us. They purposely try to disguise themselves by chaging times and dates because deep down they know they are predators. The most hypocritical thing is they expect discretion when it comes to them but they have no problem discussing every detail of what was said in the booking giving away personal info on general chit chst and discussing the slight bit of cellulite they might have seen or your body parts were not perfect enough.

If any man that stays on that site long enough it becomes obvious the majority of reviews and discussions are men that clearly are there to take advantage of us as much as possible. Decent men do not stay on that site and post reviews that cause us harm and danger they would leave. So these men are all guilty and as far as i am concerened they are happy to make our job harder and put us in bad situations. There is thousands of men on there and a lot married. They even come up with posts on how to get away with hiding it from there wives. I had one client once that told me his wife caught him and he swore on kids lives he would never do it again he told me he was back doing it again 6 weeks after this time using secretive sim and punting phone and planning his time visiting a lady by pretending to be working late and taken up a gym membership. These men have become too entitled and are only satisfied if the woman is literally selling her soul and giving the best performance of her life. Women are marked down if they have not taken enough inches down there throat or there eyes are not watering or there not gagging, this is how sick the website is and the men reviewing a lot of the time are some of the most repulsive to look at but there the least grateful, how does that even happen?

More alarming is the UKP men that do find a little young " hottie" age 18, 19, 0r 20 years of age that takes a great face f***g and throat pie as they call it the sad old men queue up to punt and review her, she gets quite busy all comparing notes and then she gives a few a STI infection there is hints mentioned it is her but within a few days that is old gossip they are all still all back there booking her and knowing she has a drug problem too, she is very unreliable keeps men waiting ages and her house is a dump but as long as they get there needs met they don't care and a lot of these are married. They knowingly take advantage of the fact she has a drug problem. This is the great UKpunting at there very best. They do not care if young girls have drug problems or are being pimped as long as what they pay gets them a dirty session that is all they care about. So many are just out right perverts 60 and 70 year old men booking 18 to 20 year old young women and never satisfied unless she delivers a oscar worthy performance.

With new laws data/right to be forgotten the online bill i have a feeling UKPunting could be in trouble at some point as there abuse of women is causing harm to so many.

I am making plans to leave the business and i cannot recommend this to anybody thinking of doing it. The only women it might suit are women that already like swinging, dogging and enjoy risky sex with strangers and will enjoy getting paid for something they already do.

The positives side of it that i will add are working when you want to and the hours you want, making more then minimum wage and coming across the small percentage of men that smell nice, behave nice and maybe that bring you a nice gift like chocolates, flowers, perfume or even tip you but this is rare i might add.

What i might add some sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours by writing such degrading filth on there advertising details of how graphic they will get on a booking and posting photos of there whole naked body parts fully exposed and photos and short clips of them taking a throat f Some of these older women have teenage kids and all there faces on show for the world to see. I feel deeply sorry for there kids as a parent exposing themselves in such a degrading way. If these women suddenly cannot do sex work anymore they have there face and body parts out there forever. Who would want to give these women a job in the real world if they know or find out about what they have done. Do they care if there kids get bullied or everybody finds out what there mum does? Obviously not.

There is women that work and there hubby is very cool with it, they say he is just open minded and knows it is only a job and he lets me make my own choices and very supportive. What they do not tell you some of these men do not work or only work part time and are sitting on there arses waiting for the money roll in while they play Russian roulette on what stranger might attack you or catching infections.

I Hope this post will help some women to decide if they really need or want to do this for money this is the reality of it.

OP posts:
Snowdust · 21/09/2022 17:46

2bazookas · 21/09/2022 17:37

sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours

Well, you said it.
I don't have any sympathy for you whatever.

Some sex workers yes. I never asked you for sympathy. The post is not about you or for you but to help other women who might consider it and think it's easy money.

OP posts:
WaveyHair · 21/09/2022 17:47

@Snowdust a genuine question and I would be interested in your opinion.

Do you think that legalising the industry in some way would be an effective way to control it and make life safer for sex workers?

you are putting yourselves out there in harms way (thinking back to the 2006 Ipswich murders). Accepting that the industry will never go away, would this help reduce the amount of abuse and trafficking which goes on?

itsnotdeep · 21/09/2022 17:47

2bazookas · 21/09/2022 17:37

sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours

Well, you said it.
I don't have any sympathy for you whatever.

Well that says far more about you than the OP doesn't it?

Thank you OP for sharing. I hope you get out soon.

Ididthedriving · 21/09/2022 17:48

@Snowdust i don't judge you at all. You are doing what you can to survive.. Best of luck getting out.

Flangelasashes · 21/09/2022 17:49

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 17:46

Some sex workers yes. I never asked you for sympathy. The post is not about you or for you but to help other women who might consider it and think it's easy money.

Well Said @Snowdust

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 17:57

WaveyHair · 21/09/2022 17:47

@Snowdust a genuine question and I would be interested in your opinion.

Do you think that legalising the industry in some way would be an effective way to control it and make life safer for sex workers?

you are putting yourselves out there in harms way (thinking back to the 2006 Ipswich murders). Accepting that the industry will never go away, would this help reduce the amount of abuse and trafficking which goes on?

Interesting question wavyhair but sex work is legal if you are independent and working for yourself it is only not if there is a pimp involved or several women sharing a place.

What i feel that needs to change is the attitude that men can attack you or do something bad or send you racial or death threats with no penalty. A lot of women just think well it is part of the job that is not true. Places like UKpunting need to be either moderated by a third party or closed down because it is too many bad men that have found each other and it is a place to plot and give each other bad ideas. That is what needs to fully change. I don't think sex work should be made illegal but i think more support needs to be put in place for the people that take advantage of women who do this.

OP posts:
Justleaveitblankthen · 21/09/2022 18:05

User135644 · 21/09/2022 17:20

Why do women still do this when they can just use OF?

What is OF?

OneFootintheRave · 21/09/2022 18:11

Sounds like a veritable cesspool and I hope you make it out of this line of work for good. Nothing you says surprises me though.

What you said about the time wasters was interesting. A lot of women on here find messages that their DH has been sending to escorts. DH invariably seems to say he was just messaging, never went through with it and it was just a fantasy. It sounds like about 50% of them aren't lying then.

Darhon · 21/09/2022 18:12

I believe you. Biggest con narrative going that sex work is empowering. I see it as akin to men going to war and bring on frontlines. It’s just inherently traumatising. It’s only in the west it’s largely adult women who do it. In much of the world female children are prostituted as well. But we want to gloss it up as a legitimate work choice. It’s awful.

I hope you are ok and someone looks out for you.

debskip · 21/09/2022 18:13

Grim.

Redqueenheart · 21/09/2022 18:22

I do hope you make it out of that hell soon.

I think it is important to read stories like yours because the next time some idiot starts bleating about how prostitution is empowering for women we can remind ourselves that the reality of it is grim.

WhileAFoxIsWatching · 21/09/2022 18:24

BlusteryLake · 21/09/2022 17:16

Oh goodness OP, I am sorry you have had to experience these men. Paid sex brings up the dregs of society who can't get "ordinary" women to like them because of their repugnant behaviour and attitudes. Only an absolutely tiny percentage of sex work is glamourous, most of it is shitty.

...the dregs...apart from the married ones

purpleboy · 21/09/2022 18:31

Thanks for sharing this op. It sounds harrowing and I'm so sorry your in a position where you felt this was your only option.
Best of luck to you.Flowers

GG1986 · 21/09/2022 18:44

Justleaveitblankthen · 21/09/2022 18:05

What is OF?

Only fans

Summerslam · 21/09/2022 18:45

I think a lot of naive women think sex work is easy money. Just recently there was a poster on here, asking if she could make money out of posting photos of herself in her underwear on OnlyFans. She was quickly disabused of that notion - no man is going to pay for vanilla photos of a middle aged woman in her kecks.

The customers want kink and niche sexual content. It's degrading and disgusting.

A uni friend of mine worked doing phone sex when that was a thing - the number of men wanting to roleplay sex with minors was horrific. Add to that, the scat fetishists and the SM freaks - it's not a nice world out there. The money wasn't that great either.

I'd rather work in an outbound call centre than be a sex worker of any description.

Chompiemompie · 21/09/2022 19:06

@Snowdust thank you for sharing and I hope you get the right supports to put you on the track you want to be on. There are some great support services that work alongside through that transition. You have done it before and will again.

I think you've been very brave to post your truths here, especially when so much of what is written and reported skims over the realities. This is exactly what needs to be shared so women can make an informed choice. Other women can't choose so this is the world they have pushed into. They need support too.

It is awful that this is the supposed safety net for women.

beastlyslumber · 21/09/2022 19:07

Thank you for sharing this, OP. I think it's important that people understand the reality of this. A lot of people say "sex work is work" and try to compare prostitution to working in Macdonalds. It's not the same and no woman (or man) should be treated this way. It's completely dehumanising and degrading. I hope you can get out of it soon, OP, and wish you luck and love Flowers

Luredbyapomegranate · 21/09/2022 19:17

I do hope you get out soon OP.

It's a very useful thing to share, as people are strangely resistant to the reality of sex work.

Ignore any nasty comments from PPs

ThickCutSteakChips · 21/09/2022 19:21

WaveyHair · 21/09/2022 17:47

@Snowdust a genuine question and I would be interested in your opinion.

Do you think that legalising the industry in some way would be an effective way to control it and make life safer for sex workers?

you are putting yourselves out there in harms way (thinking back to the 2006 Ipswich murders). Accepting that the industry will never go away, would this help reduce the amount of abuse and trafficking which goes on?

Why do we have to accept that men seeing women as sub human objects that they can purchase 'will never go away'?

Also, sex work being legal won't stop the disgusting men (whose breath, penises, armpits and arses would still be absolutely vile, legal or not) out there seeing these women as actual human beings. Plus it would legitimise sites such as Pubternet even more - after after all you are just reviewing a perfectly legal purchase you have made, if its defective you need to let others know, just like Amazon innit......

Thank you for your post by the way OP.

BorisJohnsonsHair · 21/09/2022 19:25

I'm so sorry for you that you're having to be exposed to so much violence and abuse. I had no idea how bad things are in this industry.

Hoping that your post will deter some women who may have been considering it. It can't be an easy choice to make and I feel really sad that women are being forced to take this kind of work because of their circumstances.

OldFan · 21/09/2022 19:27

@Flangelasashes @HickoryDickoryNoCock I'd like to learn more about the Fritzl camgirl, as it sounds absolutely shocking. Could you give me info I can look up/a link? PM if you prefer.

Georgeskitchen · 21/09/2022 19:28

Wow
And yes there are people who will glamorise prostitution, oh sorry sex work we must call it now.
Every young woman thinking of getting into this should read your post OP!!

ButteredStrumpetWithJam · 21/09/2022 19:29

Sounds like it's got worse since I left the business a few years back. UK Punting was around but could be largely ignored, and all the decent punters (on Punternet) thought Jimmy Red Cab, Nick et al were twats. Adult Work was considered really sleazy too and the really well respected escorts weren't on there, preferring to have their own websites and have listings on nicer directories.

My experiences over my 15+ years as an independent escort were not like yours OP, I'm glad to say. Pretty much all of my clients were pleasant, respectful, and clean, and only the odd one or two didn't have excellent hygene or had attitude. Sure there were timewasters (loads will try and use escorts for free sex chat lines) but I found having very clear and strong boundaries, and strict rules mentioned on my website, kept them largely at bay. Always got money (cash only) up front because of the scammers, and had very stringent security measures.

When I worked I deliberately went for quality not quantity so only had a few bookings each week. I charged a lot and didn't have "sexy" photos on my website, purely to attract respectful clients who wanted a more exclusive, "girlfriend" service. It worked really well for me which meant that my mental health was still OK by the time I left.

The worst thing for me was realising it was almost impossible to have a romantic relationship whilst being an escort. Very few men can handle it understandably. Plus the secrecy and always having to lie when asked what I did for a living. Oh, and the annual chore of doing my accounts.

I know posters hate the "empowering" chants, but I can honestly say the first 2 years I found really empowering. However, the reason for that was that I was so fed up of men lying their way into my pants that it felt great to be calling the shots at last, getting some good sex (often better than with exes!) and it being a transparent arrangement. If men had treated me better when I was dating them, and if my job opportunities were better then, I may well not have entered the business. So deep down, I accept, it was shitty when you look at the underlying reasons.

CandyLeBonBon · 21/09/2022 19:35

Thanks for sharing op. I wish people would let go of the 'pretty woman' ideal. Because let's face it, that's NOT reality.

Reallyreallyborednow · 21/09/2022 19:46

Interesting question wavyhair but sex work is legal if you are independent and working for yourself it is only not if there is a pimp involved or several women sharing a place

do you think Brothels or their modern day equivalent might help?

clean, legal establishments where clients can be vetted, banned if they don’t behave, possibly even STI certified?

where girls can call in bouncers at any point and have a client removed.

men clearly need heavy policing and forced to understand they can’t use women in this way.

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