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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Reasons never to go into prostitution, the horrors of it and UKpunting Rant.

437 replies

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 16:14

I have seen many posts talking about working as a escort or sex worker and some of them being in a positive light and some women doing this while married or having a partner.

Well i wanted to write this not just as a rant for myself and to get it off my chest but to let other's know who might consider doing it that there is not that many positives to it. Quite a long detailed post but a necessary one.

I first started doing it 12 years ago and since i have come back the last 2 years i dont want to go into details of exact reasons of why i did it but i had my reasons. I want to give a honest account and hope not to be judged. People in my private life would never guess i do this i am not a typical stereotype nor do i have any addictions or have a husband or partner leeching off me. It was my decision and not taken lightly but there was reasons why i needed money this way.

When i first started it there was more money to earn and yes i earnt a good living for a while and put money away but it did come with it's problems and dealing with some nasty men is one of them. I am a private person and do this in secret only a few trusted people know the rest do not.

Since being back on a short term basis it has definately become much much tougher to bare. I work independently from adultwork website and work from hotels or apartments. Some days you earn ok other days not so good. The market is over run with many sex workers and you are played against each other by the men.

The men that book us there is probably only around 10 to 15% of what i would call decent men. When i say decent i mean ones that do not smell like a sewer or demand to do anything they want and get as much in the time as there minutes give them.

There is so many women now offering unprotected services not just oral but even bareback, some of these women will do anything like Rimming, letting men film them, letting men face choke them and swallowing lots of mens fluids and so on and this seems to be popular and what a lot of men want. Some prices are so cheap at 40 or 50 pounds for these 15 minute quickies, it's just awful. So much desperation out there.

I try to make my profile look not as sexually graphic and i do not offer a lot of these things required but even then you still get men trying it on and getting pissed off if you do not do exactly what they want. They seem to have this mind set if one woman has done something more full throttle or hardcore that we all should otherwise we are ripping them off.

Before you even get a client in the door you have to screen the many phone calls and texts. So many of these calls are not even paying clients, probably only about 40% of men calling are actual clients that visit women and pay the rest they are men that just get off on pretending they will book and want to talk dirty. You even have the nutters with anger issues that phone up wanting to start a argument so they can call you nasty names and threaten you. A lot of women will use safety apps to screen men who have many reports against them for either time wasting, no show bookings and pretending to be outside your road but there not even there they just get off on wasting your time. Then you have the dangerous reports where they have robbed women and attacked them, the ones that paid and tried to blackmail you after for a refund saying they will inform hotel after they had what they had off you, men that try removing the condom when having sex with you, men paying with a banking scam app where you do not even get paid, men that walk out on many women and insult you or pretend they left money in there car (a sick fetish where they have no intention to pay but get off on seeing a sex worker) and the horrible men from UK punting who use that site to harrass and blackmail for a better service. ( more about them at the end)

Then when you do get a client you hope he will be pleasant and at least not smell like the local sewer and pay up.

Now lets do percentages on clients.

Clean men who do not smell from there mouth, penis, bum, body. (After a shower)
20% i would say if that. Some men have no understanding that heavy breathing halitosis all over you is not in with the price or leaving skid marks on your towels and bedding then down below smelling of dried urine. There is not much embarrassment when you pull them up on it. A sorry that is not very genuine is what you get or just a Oh never realised.

Nice pleasant men who just want a nice time and respect that although they have paid they are not there to use you like a blow up doll and take advantage. I would say 15% possibly. I cannot say all men that visit are horrible vile people there is a few nice ones in there that treat you like a human but they are rare which is the sad point about this.

Married men that have zero respect for you and there wife. 80%. Yes you heard right. I don't like to see married men especially the type that boast about seeing lots of sex workers even hundreds and expect oral without a condom and even try to rub there bare penis on your lady bits and when you tell them not to they think you are ruining there fun and pull faces or keep asking. These are some of the married men that openly tell you they get regular sex with there wife but they want variety all the time some of these men have over 200 feedbacks on adultwork. They have no shame telling me all this as they must think i am just fine with this because what i do. No i take your money but think you are pond life for your lack of respect for your wife and women in general.

Horrible men that want to treat you like a submissive porn star even though that is not your advert. 50% i would say. Many when turned on change personality can even become spiteful gripping very hard, shoving your head down as hard as possible, pulling you around like a rag doll leaving finger bruises. When you tell some they might stop but you have killed the moment as they start going soft. What does that tell you? You also need to be on your guard that they will not try to stealth you because that does happen and when finished make sure you do not leave the client to get dressed while you are in bathroom as some will search for the money to take back.

Health risks. Well what can i say the more men you see the more risk some will have of catching STI's. Luckily i have not caught anything so far but i do not do so many of the risky sex acts but i know many women that have caught infections.

Now the dreaded UKpunting men. These lot are the worst of the worst not only no respect for sex workers but there whole intention is mostly abusing women and writing detailed reviews of a very private session all to make them feel good about themselves and the alpha male in charge. Lets make it clear this is not just any review site. It really is set up to take a lot from women and pay as little as possible. Normal review sites do not call women C*s or greedy bitches or low life whores because we dare charge them or put our prices up by £10, these lot do.

The men on there know exactly why most women do not want men from there booking them because a lot are dangerous they have form for blackmailing, harassing, stalking women and writing lies because a sex worker does not want to get face choked or have to french kiss them because they smell so bad and are so repulsive. They have also wrote personal details on the forum that has outed womens true identity. The previous owner used to have a thread aimed at getting verification photos taken from adultwork by accident of womens faces that were supposed to be hidden from the public but Adultwork had leaked that info by accident and UKpunting had software ready to grab these photos. Some women had contacted the owner at UK punting telling him to please remove my face photo as it was outed by accident on Adultwork and his response was no take me to court.

Ukpunting even had a thread on our safety app tools and telling dangerous clients how to get away with not showing up on it putting us in extra danger and so many on there have bad reports.

The website is really just there to fuel these mens ego's and fantasies by writing detailed reviews of what they do to us. They purposely try to disguise themselves by chaging times and dates because deep down they know they are predators. The most hypocritical thing is they expect discretion when it comes to them but they have no problem discussing every detail of what was said in the booking giving away personal info on general chit chst and discussing the slight bit of cellulite they might have seen or your body parts were not perfect enough.

If any man that stays on that site long enough it becomes obvious the majority of reviews and discussions are men that clearly are there to take advantage of us as much as possible. Decent men do not stay on that site and post reviews that cause us harm and danger they would leave. So these men are all guilty and as far as i am concerened they are happy to make our job harder and put us in bad situations. There is thousands of men on there and a lot married. They even come up with posts on how to get away with hiding it from there wives. I had one client once that told me his wife caught him and he swore on kids lives he would never do it again he told me he was back doing it again 6 weeks after this time using secretive sim and punting phone and planning his time visiting a lady by pretending to be working late and taken up a gym membership. These men have become too entitled and are only satisfied if the woman is literally selling her soul and giving the best performance of her life. Women are marked down if they have not taken enough inches down there throat or there eyes are not watering or there not gagging, this is how sick the website is and the men reviewing a lot of the time are some of the most repulsive to look at but there the least grateful, how does that even happen?

More alarming is the UKP men that do find a little young " hottie" age 18, 19, 0r 20 years of age that takes a great face f***g and throat pie as they call it the sad old men queue up to punt and review her, she gets quite busy all comparing notes and then she gives a few a STI infection there is hints mentioned it is her but within a few days that is old gossip they are all still all back there booking her and knowing she has a drug problem too, she is very unreliable keeps men waiting ages and her house is a dump but as long as they get there needs met they don't care and a lot of these are married. They knowingly take advantage of the fact she has a drug problem. This is the great UKpunting at there very best. They do not care if young girls have drug problems or are being pimped as long as what they pay gets them a dirty session that is all they care about. So many are just out right perverts 60 and 70 year old men booking 18 to 20 year old young women and never satisfied unless she delivers a oscar worthy performance.

With new laws data/right to be forgotten the online bill i have a feeling UKPunting could be in trouble at some point as there abuse of women is causing harm to so many.

I am making plans to leave the business and i cannot recommend this to anybody thinking of doing it. The only women it might suit are women that already like swinging, dogging and enjoy risky sex with strangers and will enjoy getting paid for something they already do.

The positives side of it that i will add are working when you want to and the hours you want, making more then minimum wage and coming across the small percentage of men that smell nice, behave nice and maybe that bring you a nice gift like chocolates, flowers, perfume or even tip you but this is rare i might add.

What i might add some sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours by writing such degrading filth on there advertising details of how graphic they will get on a booking and posting photos of there whole naked body parts fully exposed and photos and short clips of them taking a throat f Some of these older women have teenage kids and all there faces on show for the world to see. I feel deeply sorry for there kids as a parent exposing themselves in such a degrading way. If these women suddenly cannot do sex work anymore they have there face and body parts out there forever. Who would want to give these women a job in the real world if they know or find out about what they have done. Do they care if there kids get bullied or everybody finds out what there mum does? Obviously not.

There is women that work and there hubby is very cool with it, they say he is just open minded and knows it is only a job and he lets me make my own choices and very supportive. What they do not tell you some of these men do not work or only work part time and are sitting on there arses waiting for the money roll in while they play Russian roulette on what stranger might attack you or catching infections.

I Hope this post will help some women to decide if they really need or want to do this for money this is the reality of it.

OP posts:
Icecreamandapplepie · 21/09/2022 19:55

I wish I'd never read this thread but I'm glad you posted it.

So sorry for you.

SavoirFlair · 21/09/2022 20:00

debskip · 21/09/2022 18:13

Grim.

You really came on here just to post this insult to the OP @debskip ?

embarrassing. I really can’t stand posts like this, designed to have a little dig from your comfortable chair somewhere in another life. So much for the sisterhood

@Snowdust i read every single word of your OP and I think it should be mandatory reading for every girl thinking about this industry. Good on you for planning your escape. May your days be happy and fruitful ahead.

TheDogAndTrumpet · 21/09/2022 20:05

I can definitely see how the Internet has probably changed sex work for the worse. All the reviews like it's a product off amazon 🙄. The man who outed a woman as well! That could fuck her future career etc.

Also, even on mainstream pages on SM, there are a lot of men bitching about how awful women are if they don't meet their high expectations.

Depressing. Hope you can get out!

missfliss · 21/09/2022 20:07

I also wanted to add my thanks to you OP for sharing. It's been quite the education.

I hope you get out soon and please take care of yourself physically and mentally - I'm sorry for the damage that this must have done Flowers

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/09/2022 20:19

Reallyreallyborednow · 21/09/2022 19:46

Interesting question wavyhair but sex work is legal if you are independent and working for yourself it is only not if there is a pimp involved or several women sharing a place

do you think Brothels or their modern day equivalent might help?

clean, legal establishments where clients can be vetted, banned if they don’t behave, possibly even STI certified?

where girls can call in bouncers at any point and have a client removed.

men clearly need heavy policing and forced to understand they can’t use women in this way.

It hasn't worked in Germany.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 21/09/2022 20:36

Sex workers should all have hidden cameras in their rooms and post pictures on the internet of the johns and review them back. Show the animals up for what the are. UK Johns website.

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 20:41

SavoirFlair · 21/09/2022 20:00

You really came on here just to post this insult to the OP @debskip ?

embarrassing. I really can’t stand posts like this, designed to have a little dig from your comfortable chair somewhere in another life. So much for the sisterhood

@Snowdust i read every single word of your OP and I think it should be mandatory reading for every girl thinking about this industry. Good on you for planning your escape. May your days be happy and fruitful ahead.

Thank you so much for your much appreciated support and many of the other comments of support.

It is grim reading that is true but i wanted to do this so anybody considering it gets the other side of the story and if they still want to try it then that is there choice.

OP posts:
roarfeckingroarr · 21/09/2022 20:41

@Flangelasashes @HickoryDickoryNoCock I really want to understand more about this poor woman with the Fritz tattoo. Could you PM her name? It's just horrific - but also a good example to counter all the hundreds of women on only fans who try to make it glamorous

roarfeckingroarr · 21/09/2022 20:43

Good idea @Ohsugarhoneyicetea

This is such a sad thread. UkPunting is truly disgusting.

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 20:44

I do appreciate that some women who are earning money in prostitution will like the job especially if they already had a very active sex life with many strangers without getting paid and enjoy that way of life in general and are not fussy.

My post is mostly for the women who are only considering doing it because they really need the money and think that most of the men will be easy and quite grateful to get sex off someone they cannot get without the payment being part of it. A lot of the men are not grateful and sweet to you they can be very resentful, bitter and extremely demanding. That said i don't want to stereotype every man that pays for sex is a nasty vindictive narcissist bully. I have genuinely met some kinder nicer men that do not take liberties and are just single and horny and want no strings, some have thanked me for seeing them and been very polite. The problem is though they are like gold dust.

If the majority of men that booked us were sweethearts i would never need to highlight this to anyone thinking this is easy. It is only easy if you are used to being treated like what i described and you have very thick skin and a nose that has hardly any smell then you could be ok.

My worry is young (or even not young) impressionable ladies that come into this industry who are naive and they will encounter the pushy UKpunting men that basically are there to get them doing things they are uncomfortable with by playing the game " i am clean i get tested all the time other women let me bareback them you should to, you won't get no business but if i recommend you were good you will earn a lot or if you do not offer X, Y, Z i will have to give you a bad review.
I have heard this has happened many times.

OP posts:
Charlavail · 21/09/2022 20:49

Another one asking to know the name of the fritzl girl

SwordToFlamethrower · 21/09/2022 20:50

Not surprised by this at all. The "Nordic Model Now" campaign seems to be one to follow with regards to prostitution.

Charlavail · 21/09/2022 20:50

Another one asking to know the name of the fritzl girl

NippyWoowoo · 21/09/2022 20:55

Another is Findom, or financial domination. I’ve seen men hand over thousands of pounds, deplete their savings, blow the kids uni fund, take money out the joint account whilst telling their partner they are broke and she needs to reign in her spending, making her live on a pittance whilst some 19 year old self-branded “brat” is calling him a useless little prick as he hands over £1000.

This is utterly depressing

GyozaGuiting · 21/09/2022 20:57

Thanks for sharing Op and I’m sorry you’ve been through all that. It was a real eye opener to read.

PauliesWalnuts · 21/09/2022 20:58

Don’t engage with people wanting to know the name of the Fritz girl - they are either rubbernickers or pervs.

GyozaGuiting · 21/09/2022 20:58

Also shocked about the amount that smell 🥴

squishee · 21/09/2022 21:00

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/09/2022 20:19

It hasn't worked in Germany.

It seems it varies from state to state and even between cities here in Germany. I deal with sex workers' h&s a bit, and much of the above is in place where I am. It won't stamp out abuse completely, but there is much more to protect the women than I would have expected.

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 21:02

TheDogAndTrumpet · 21/09/2022 20:05

I can definitely see how the Internet has probably changed sex work for the worse. All the reviews like it's a product off amazon 🙄. The man who outed a woman as well! That could fuck her future career etc.

Also, even on mainstream pages on SM, there are a lot of men bitching about how awful women are if they don't meet their high expectations.

Depressing. Hope you can get out!

If UKpunting operated like a normal review site then it would not be so bad but it is designed for men that enjoy being very nasty and personal. If a man on there is not as nasty or vile and has empathy for some of the women they are called white knights and fluffies and bullied off the site. Sharing very personal information of what you did to every part of her body is not needed. If they just kept it to facts of enjoyed my time or not enjoyed my time and the services were limited then that is more fair. There is no discretion in most of there reviews It's embarrassing reading designed mostly for a bunch of perverts to get off on what the previous guy did and the one before him. It's a competition between ego's on there.

OP posts:
aweegc · 21/09/2022 21:06

Thanks for being brave enough to post this here OP. I hope every single Mumsnetters reads it and it gets shared off Mumsnet.

I am sick to the back teeth of hearing that "sex work is work" and that it's different to "forced prostitution". Both those statements are true to a certain extent, but they're trotted out as ways of circumnavigating the reality that comes with men paying to use woman's bodies.

I studied psychology at uni. I had a module that talked about "sex work is work" and I felt promoted prostitution. At the end of the module, there was an informal FB discussion about the module and some (more than one) on the course said that their minds had been opened by the module. Prior to studying if they'd never have considered any sex work, but now they'd be open to doing it if the financial need arose.

Voices like yours are SO important to counter the crap that is being spouted from the ivory towers of academia. Primarily from academics who promote the idea that "sex work is work" to vulnerable students (most students are at least financially vulnerable), but would never do it themselves and are definitely not promoting it as a career option for their DDs.

I hope you find your way out as soon as possible - and the remainder of your time is as safe as possible. Take care of yourself.

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 21:08

GyozaGuiting · 21/09/2022 20:58

Also shocked about the amount that smell 🥴

Probably why they need to pay for it in all honesty. Some do not care they smell as they are paying as one said once to me about how he is not wasting time getting bathed and putting after shave on and the rest there noses must be blocked.

OP posts:
ExtraJalapenos · 21/09/2022 21:09

Who was the fritzl tattoo person? For some reason I'm almost assuming Chloe Khan?

ThisUserNameIsAvailableOk · 21/09/2022 21:11

Stop asking about the girl ffs

Ofcourseshecan · 21/09/2022 21:18

2bazookas · 21/09/2022 17:37

sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours

Well, you said it.
I don't have any sympathy for you whatever.

You demean yourself with this comment, 2bazookas.

Neverendingdust · 21/09/2022 21:21

The married ones that smell- Jesus at least you’re getting money off them- their wives have to do it for free 😳🤮

Prostitution is an ages old profession, it’s just a shame the professional conduct isn’t reciprocated.