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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Reasons never to go into prostitution, the horrors of it and UKpunting Rant.

437 replies

Snowdust · 21/09/2022 16:14

I have seen many posts talking about working as a escort or sex worker and some of them being in a positive light and some women doing this while married or having a partner.

Well i wanted to write this not just as a rant for myself and to get it off my chest but to let other's know who might consider doing it that there is not that many positives to it. Quite a long detailed post but a necessary one.

I first started doing it 12 years ago and since i have come back the last 2 years i dont want to go into details of exact reasons of why i did it but i had my reasons. I want to give a honest account and hope not to be judged. People in my private life would never guess i do this i am not a typical stereotype nor do i have any addictions or have a husband or partner leeching off me. It was my decision and not taken lightly but there was reasons why i needed money this way.

When i first started it there was more money to earn and yes i earnt a good living for a while and put money away but it did come with it's problems and dealing with some nasty men is one of them. I am a private person and do this in secret only a few trusted people know the rest do not.

Since being back on a short term basis it has definately become much much tougher to bare. I work independently from adultwork website and work from hotels or apartments. Some days you earn ok other days not so good. The market is over run with many sex workers and you are played against each other by the men.

The men that book us there is probably only around 10 to 15% of what i would call decent men. When i say decent i mean ones that do not smell like a sewer or demand to do anything they want and get as much in the time as there minutes give them.

There is so many women now offering unprotected services not just oral but even bareback, some of these women will do anything like Rimming, letting men film them, letting men face choke them and swallowing lots of mens fluids and so on and this seems to be popular and what a lot of men want. Some prices are so cheap at 40 or 50 pounds for these 15 minute quickies, it's just awful. So much desperation out there.

I try to make my profile look not as sexually graphic and i do not offer a lot of these things required but even then you still get men trying it on and getting pissed off if you do not do exactly what they want. They seem to have this mind set if one woman has done something more full throttle or hardcore that we all should otherwise we are ripping them off.

Before you even get a client in the door you have to screen the many phone calls and texts. So many of these calls are not even paying clients, probably only about 40% of men calling are actual clients that visit women and pay the rest they are men that just get off on pretending they will book and want to talk dirty. You even have the nutters with anger issues that phone up wanting to start a argument so they can call you nasty names and threaten you. A lot of women will use safety apps to screen men who have many reports against them for either time wasting, no show bookings and pretending to be outside your road but there not even there they just get off on wasting your time. Then you have the dangerous reports where they have robbed women and attacked them, the ones that paid and tried to blackmail you after for a refund saying they will inform hotel after they had what they had off you, men that try removing the condom when having sex with you, men paying with a banking scam app where you do not even get paid, men that walk out on many women and insult you or pretend they left money in there car (a sick fetish where they have no intention to pay but get off on seeing a sex worker) and the horrible men from UK punting who use that site to harrass and blackmail for a better service. ( more about them at the end)

Then when you do get a client you hope he will be pleasant and at least not smell like the local sewer and pay up.

Now lets do percentages on clients.

Clean men who do not smell from there mouth, penis, bum, body. (After a shower)
20% i would say if that. Some men have no understanding that heavy breathing halitosis all over you is not in with the price or leaving skid marks on your towels and bedding then down below smelling of dried urine. There is not much embarrassment when you pull them up on it. A sorry that is not very genuine is what you get or just a Oh never realised.

Nice pleasant men who just want a nice time and respect that although they have paid they are not there to use you like a blow up doll and take advantage. I would say 15% possibly. I cannot say all men that visit are horrible vile people there is a few nice ones in there that treat you like a human but they are rare which is the sad point about this.

Married men that have zero respect for you and there wife. 80%. Yes you heard right. I don't like to see married men especially the type that boast about seeing lots of sex workers even hundreds and expect oral without a condom and even try to rub there bare penis on your lady bits and when you tell them not to they think you are ruining there fun and pull faces or keep asking. These are some of the married men that openly tell you they get regular sex with there wife but they want variety all the time some of these men have over 200 feedbacks on adultwork. They have no shame telling me all this as they must think i am just fine with this because what i do. No i take your money but think you are pond life for your lack of respect for your wife and women in general.

Horrible men that want to treat you like a submissive porn star even though that is not your advert. 50% i would say. Many when turned on change personality can even become spiteful gripping very hard, shoving your head down as hard as possible, pulling you around like a rag doll leaving finger bruises. When you tell some they might stop but you have killed the moment as they start going soft. What does that tell you? You also need to be on your guard that they will not try to stealth you because that does happen and when finished make sure you do not leave the client to get dressed while you are in bathroom as some will search for the money to take back.

Health risks. Well what can i say the more men you see the more risk some will have of catching STI's. Luckily i have not caught anything so far but i do not do so many of the risky sex acts but i know many women that have caught infections.

Now the dreaded UKpunting men. These lot are the worst of the worst not only no respect for sex workers but there whole intention is mostly abusing women and writing detailed reviews of a very private session all to make them feel good about themselves and the alpha male in charge. Lets make it clear this is not just any review site. It really is set up to take a lot from women and pay as little as possible. Normal review sites do not call women C*s or greedy bitches or low life whores because we dare charge them or put our prices up by £10, these lot do.

The men on there know exactly why most women do not want men from there booking them because a lot are dangerous they have form for blackmailing, harassing, stalking women and writing lies because a sex worker does not want to get face choked or have to french kiss them because they smell so bad and are so repulsive. They have also wrote personal details on the forum that has outed womens true identity. The previous owner used to have a thread aimed at getting verification photos taken from adultwork by accident of womens faces that were supposed to be hidden from the public but Adultwork had leaked that info by accident and UKpunting had software ready to grab these photos. Some women had contacted the owner at UK punting telling him to please remove my face photo as it was outed by accident on Adultwork and his response was no take me to court.

Ukpunting even had a thread on our safety app tools and telling dangerous clients how to get away with not showing up on it putting us in extra danger and so many on there have bad reports.

The website is really just there to fuel these mens ego's and fantasies by writing detailed reviews of what they do to us. They purposely try to disguise themselves by chaging times and dates because deep down they know they are predators. The most hypocritical thing is they expect discretion when it comes to them but they have no problem discussing every detail of what was said in the booking giving away personal info on general chit chst and discussing the slight bit of cellulite they might have seen or your body parts were not perfect enough.

If any man that stays on that site long enough it becomes obvious the majority of reviews and discussions are men that clearly are there to take advantage of us as much as possible. Decent men do not stay on that site and post reviews that cause us harm and danger they would leave. So these men are all guilty and as far as i am concerened they are happy to make our job harder and put us in bad situations. There is thousands of men on there and a lot married. They even come up with posts on how to get away with hiding it from there wives. I had one client once that told me his wife caught him and he swore on kids lives he would never do it again he told me he was back doing it again 6 weeks after this time using secretive sim and punting phone and planning his time visiting a lady by pretending to be working late and taken up a gym membership. These men have become too entitled and are only satisfied if the woman is literally selling her soul and giving the best performance of her life. Women are marked down if they have not taken enough inches down there throat or there eyes are not watering or there not gagging, this is how sick the website is and the men reviewing a lot of the time are some of the most repulsive to look at but there the least grateful, how does that even happen?

More alarming is the UKP men that do find a little young " hottie" age 18, 19, 0r 20 years of age that takes a great face f***g and throat pie as they call it the sad old men queue up to punt and review her, she gets quite busy all comparing notes and then she gives a few a STI infection there is hints mentioned it is her but within a few days that is old gossip they are all still all back there booking her and knowing she has a drug problem too, she is very unreliable keeps men waiting ages and her house is a dump but as long as they get there needs met they don't care and a lot of these are married. They knowingly take advantage of the fact she has a drug problem. This is the great UKpunting at there very best. They do not care if young girls have drug problems or are being pimped as long as what they pay gets them a dirty session that is all they care about. So many are just out right perverts 60 and 70 year old men booking 18 to 20 year old young women and never satisfied unless she delivers a oscar worthy performance.

With new laws data/right to be forgotten the online bill i have a feeling UKPunting could be in trouble at some point as there abuse of women is causing harm to so many.

I am making plans to leave the business and i cannot recommend this to anybody thinking of doing it. The only women it might suit are women that already like swinging, dogging and enjoy risky sex with strangers and will enjoy getting paid for something they already do.

The positives side of it that i will add are working when you want to and the hours you want, making more then minimum wage and coming across the small percentage of men that smell nice, behave nice and maybe that bring you a nice gift like chocolates, flowers, perfume or even tip you but this is rare i might add.

What i might add some sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours by writing such degrading filth on there advertising details of how graphic they will get on a booking and posting photos of there whole naked body parts fully exposed and photos and short clips of them taking a throat f Some of these older women have teenage kids and all there faces on show for the world to see. I feel deeply sorry for there kids as a parent exposing themselves in such a degrading way. If these women suddenly cannot do sex work anymore they have there face and body parts out there forever. Who would want to give these women a job in the real world if they know or find out about what they have done. Do they care if there kids get bullied or everybody finds out what there mum does? Obviously not.

There is women that work and there hubby is very cool with it, they say he is just open minded and knows it is only a job and he lets me make my own choices and very supportive. What they do not tell you some of these men do not work or only work part time and are sitting on there arses waiting for the money roll in while they play Russian roulette on what stranger might attack you or catching infections.

I Hope this post will help some women to decide if they really need or want to do this for money this is the reality of it.

OP posts:
Xenoi24 · 20/03/2024 16:19

The building you are in, the home you love in, the car you drive, the furniture in your home, the electricity and water you need. Without men, what would you have? How long would you last. Your ignorance is palpable.

Lol.

It appears you think women cannot design houses (we do, in fact I personally do), build anything (we do), design or build furniture (we do), become engineers (we do) etc.

The past is a disgusting story of depriving women of voting rights, education, training, employment opportunities etc. It has changed and will continue to do so.

We don't need you.

(We don't even need you to reproduce now with IVF and so many money oriented young men who'll donate sperm ..... And ateotd sperm is the cheapest reproductive material on earth. You can get millions out of one man. It's eggs and gestation that are the expensive, valuable part).

You're the one whose ignorance is palpable, both on the subject of sex work and in general.

Generally men, with a few exceptions, who turn up on this forum and try to lecture women are weirdos with an agenda.

That's you.

Why don't you go and do something useful
..if you think men are so useful ..instead of talking total rubbish on a female forum. It's very odd that you're on here.

whatsitcalledwhen · 20/03/2024 18:55

I feel very sorry for @Itsamthing's daughters. Hopefully they'll learn to roll their eyes at his self importance and sexism by the time they're choosing their own adult partners.

And hopefully they'll have been so put off self important, sexist men that they actively choose a good, kind and respectful man capable of empathy and understanding complicated concepts... rather than a man limited to skimming the surface of issues from a place of ignorance and privilege.

Fingers crossed for them.

kkloo · 20/03/2024 19:40

@Itsamthing
What's your contribution to the male species?

What great achievement have you had or do you just ride on the coattails of the other men who have been around before you and invented stuff? 😂

Is your contribution that you post on mumsnet trying to mansplain to women? 😂
Have you ever visited a forum where men use sex workers and shared your opinions there? I doubt it!

TheMeaningOfLife2024 · 14/11/2024 11:05

Hi

You are correct, everything you wrote is true. I'm a female escort & for some reason it seems to have all of a sudden taken it's toll on me. I feel disconnected with life in general, depressed & if I take two bookings per day however this is rare I feel even more degraded, I've changed & I have been doing it for 9 months although I did do it for a couple of years around 10 years ago. Also, remember this, the more genuine & honest you are within your profile the less clients you will have. My profile is very genuine & I am what they now label "Vanilla" only offering the very basic & limited sexual acts so I am rarely busy, this speaks volumes as to what men are really looking for. I'm looking for a real job as I write this. I'm a mature escort, no children. I'm literally doing this to survive, I need a job desperately. Believe it or not my background is professional. There's all walks of life who get into this line of "work" I don't judge. I don't have escort friends as in my opinion having escort friends would confirm even more what I'm doing & I try to forget what I'm doing, will I ever forget even when I'm not doing it anymore? I think not. I have seen men in a different light, they cheat & that's the bottom line. I remember once a client answering his phone near to the end of our appointment, it was his wife, she asked about dinner, what they would eat that evening he said he'd put the dinner in the oven before she returned from work, the call ended with "See you later, I love you" all this whilst he's stood totally naked. I now trust nobody, as I said it's changed me, how could it not.

If anyone reading this is thinking of going down the escort route, think carefully it's not for the faint hearted.

Take care everyone, there's lots of sharks out there.

TheMeaningOfLife2024 · 14/11/2024 11:07

Hi
You are correct, everything you wrote is true. I'm a female escort & for some reason it seems to have all of a sudden taken it's toll on me. I feel disconnected with life in general, depressed & if I take two bookings per day however this is rare I feel even more degraded, I've changed & I have been doing it for 9 months although I did do it for a couple of years around 10 years ago. Also, remember this, the more genuine & honest you are within your profile the less clients you will have. My profile is very genuine & I am what they now label "Vanilla" only offering the very basic & limited sexual acts so I am rarely busy, this speaks volumes as to what men are really looking for. I'm looking for a real job as I write this. I'm a mature escort, no children. I'm literally doing this to survive, I need a job desperately. Believe it or not my background is professional. There's all walks of life who get into this line of "work" I don't judge. I don't have escort friends as in my opinion having escort friends would confirm even more what I'm doing & I try to forget what I'm doing, will I ever forget even when I'm not doing it anymore? I think not. I have seen men in a different light, they cheat & that's the bottom line. I remember once a client answering his phone near to the end of our appointment, it was his wife, she asked about dinner, what they would eat that evening he said he'd put the dinner in the oven before she returned from work, the call ended with "See you later, I love you" all this whilst he's stood totally naked. I now trust nobody, as I said it's changed me, how could it not.

If anyone reading this is thinking of going down the escort route, think carefully it's not for the faint hearted.

Take care everyone, there's lots of sharks out there.

matona · 19/11/2024 12:41

Fortunately, I haven't had to do escort work in several years but I can only echo what the OP said.

There is nothing glamorous or easy about it. Men who tick ALL the boxes of being fully well groomed & clean, uncomplicated to deal with before meeting in person and during the meet, are probably single, pleasant in personality, respectful and stay respectful even when they start to get really aroused, are inside your ideal age range...these meets are the ones where you feel like it's "easy" or even pleasantly earned money. In my experience they were less than 1/3.

This is when you get to the actual point of a meet. As the OP wrote, you will have to sift through a LOT of time wasters and fantasists (though you can learn to spot them quickly if this is a priority for you). Lots of me really will carry on their games to the point of "Yeah I've just pulled up in your street now". When they're sitting at home behind their computer playing with themselves. On top of that, I would personally never go through with a meet if I felt there was a likelihood that the man would be unsafe. I'm sure I lost a lot of money from men who were eager to meet and would have been fine. But I really would rather be safe than sorry in this context and I never had any serious incidents. The "worst" I had were a few guys trying to grab back some money because it was apparently my fault that they couldn't stay hard with a condom on etc 😄

Also, yes physically many of these men will be unpleasant ie poor hygiene. I made clear that bad hygiene etc would be an end to the service without refund. I knew escorts who went either further and made guys shower upon arrival. Again, they made it clear on their pages/in communication. This does help because guys feel less comfortable turning up in a state to leave skid marks on your bedding (though I had some guys that didn't smell as fresh as they could, I never once had this). It also helps to attract "better" guys who will feel more relaxed and comfortable about coming to you knowing that these things are important to you.

Anyway, I would always advise anyone to find ANY other way than this.

matona · 19/11/2024 13:13

There is also the risk of blackmail (outing) not only from men, but "competition". Through the escort forums I also read of women being set up for beatings by other escorts.

Sandra1984 · 22/11/2024 10:09

matona · 19/11/2024 12:41

Fortunately, I haven't had to do escort work in several years but I can only echo what the OP said.

There is nothing glamorous or easy about it. Men who tick ALL the boxes of being fully well groomed & clean, uncomplicated to deal with before meeting in person and during the meet, are probably single, pleasant in personality, respectful and stay respectful even when they start to get really aroused, are inside your ideal age range...these meets are the ones where you feel like it's "easy" or even pleasantly earned money. In my experience they were less than 1/3.

This is when you get to the actual point of a meet. As the OP wrote, you will have to sift through a LOT of time wasters and fantasists (though you can learn to spot them quickly if this is a priority for you). Lots of me really will carry on their games to the point of "Yeah I've just pulled up in your street now". When they're sitting at home behind their computer playing with themselves. On top of that, I would personally never go through with a meet if I felt there was a likelihood that the man would be unsafe. I'm sure I lost a lot of money from men who were eager to meet and would have been fine. But I really would rather be safe than sorry in this context and I never had any serious incidents. The "worst" I had were a few guys trying to grab back some money because it was apparently my fault that they couldn't stay hard with a condom on etc 😄

Also, yes physically many of these men will be unpleasant ie poor hygiene. I made clear that bad hygiene etc would be an end to the service without refund. I knew escorts who went either further and made guys shower upon arrival. Again, they made it clear on their pages/in communication. This does help because guys feel less comfortable turning up in a state to leave skid marks on your bedding (though I had some guys that didn't smell as fresh as they could, I never once had this). It also helps to attract "better" guys who will feel more relaxed and comfortable about coming to you knowing that these things are important to you.

Anyway, I would always advise anyone to find ANY other way than this.

Edited

you should never do stuff that makes you feel utterly miserable, call it whoring, filling shelves at Tesco or working in finance.

KrushedIvy · 22/11/2024 10:37

Xenoi24 · 15/03/2024 17:36

Hey heres an idea you inadequate slimeballs why not try and act like real men and try a relationship.

Most of them are in relationships.

But they want sex with more than one woman/a variety of women. They don't have the game to pull women to cheat with, even if they did, they know they'd get caught more easily in affairs than using sex workers, and they convince themselves that it's not real cheating because it's not an affair.

Ive also seen a punter say very clearly that he does it to have sex with women he couldn't pull "in real life" and he imagines that's the case for many men.

Edited

It's also because a sex worker will perform sex acts their wives or girlfriends wont . It's also because men just want to fuck and go and don't want to have to approach a woman spend time and money on her and then still be rejected . Delightful. Not .

GrannyofAnarchy · 28/12/2024 11:18

my husband used escorts until he was caught. His entitled attitude and upbringing convinced him that this 70 yer old viagra'd up grandfather was doing the women a favour. He said he always chose the 'older' ones, if he could...but in reality the older ones are 40 years younger than him, with significantly fewer choices in life.
He used women as urinals for years. He has extinguished my regard for him. He will be lucky if my contempt turns to pity (once Hell has frozen over)

GrannyofAnarchy · 28/12/2024 11:38

thank you for your honesty..Truly, I really would like to know what an escort thinks, what she truly feels, when through the door comes a fat bald old man, sweating with lust and anxiety, paying for a 'girlfriend experience', self-prescribing viagra so as not to 'disappoint' his 'date'
I really would love to know..because my husband convinced himself that he was kind and gentle and much, so much nicer that the 'usual' punter. He does not count himself member of that tribe, no, not him. He is a 'gentleman' doing you a favour and helping you out with the rent. He would never write a 'field report' on adult work, because that would be 'dirty'

I am ardently on the side of the working girl...

AliasGrace47 · 02/09/2025 15:37

Itsamthing · 18/03/2024 22:47

I feel no shame for my stance, I have no religion, and I am prejudice towards sex workers and their punters. Yet as a man, a father of girls and boys and a husband of many years, I have morals and standards some cannot understand but that is your issue not mine.

You use terms like self righteous, religious, obtuse to deflect from yourself. You cannot argue the point so you argue the person. It is beneath me.

When boiled down to it's simplest low resolution picture, the world would be a better place if the sex workers and the punters they sell sex to did not do such things. However, while there is one, there will be the other. I do not care about their motives, or their reasoning. Their motives and reasoning do not affect the world, their actions do.

Punters have been criminalised, I couldn't care less for them, pimps and the like are already illegal. Yet still the system persists. The only step left is to criminalise the act of selling sex. The system will still persist yet to a lesser extent.

I am all for any effort to reduce the amount of men and women selling sex and buying sex. If it's forced underground, so be it. The harder it is to find and the more severe the punishment the less will be involved.

You're personal attacks soothe my soul. For only the truth could hurt and motivate like so.

You do realise huge amounts of women in the sex trade are trafficked? Driving it underground would cause them more harm

Punters have a choice. Trafficked women don't

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