Reasons never to go into prostitution, the horrors of it and UKpunting Rant.

[Snowdust]

I have seen many posts talking about working as a escort or sex worker and some of them being in a positive light and some women doing this while married or having a partner.

Well i wanted to write this not just as a rant for myself and to get it off my chest but to let other's know who might consider doing it that there is not that many positives to it. Quite a long detailed post but a necessary one.

I first started doing it 12 years ago and since i have come back the last 2 years i dont want to go into details of exact reasons of why i did it but i had my reasons. I want to give a honest account and hope not to be judged. People in my private life would never guess i do this i am not a typical stereotype nor do i have any addictions or have a husband or partner leeching off me. It was my decision and not taken lightly but there was reasons why i needed money this way.

When i first started it there was more money to earn and yes i earnt a good living for a while and put money away but it did come with it's problems and dealing with some nasty men is one of them. I am a private person and do this in secret only a few trusted people know the rest do not.

Since being back on a short term basis it has definately become much much tougher to bare. I work independently from adultwork website and work from hotels or apartments. Some days you earn ok other days not so good. The market is over run with many sex workers and you are played against each other by the men.

The men that book us there is probably only around 10 to 15% of what i would call decent men. When i say decent i mean ones that do not smell like a sewer or demand to do anything they want and get as much in the time as there minutes give them.

There is so many women now offering unprotected services not just oral but even bareback, some of these women will do anything like Rimming, letting men film them, letting men face choke them and swallowing lots of mens fluids and so on and this seems to be popular and what a lot of men want. Some prices are so cheap at 40 or 50 pounds for these 15 minute quickies, it's just awful. So much desperation out there.

I try to make my profile look not as sexually graphic and i do not offer a lot of these things required but even then you still get men trying it on and getting pissed off if you do not do exactly what they want. They seem to have this mind set if one woman has done something more full throttle or hardcore that we all should otherwise we are ripping them off.

Before you even get a client in the door you have to screen the many phone calls and texts. So many of these calls are not even paying clients, probably only about 40% of men calling are actual clients that visit women and pay the rest they are men that just get off on pretending they will book and want to talk dirty. You even have the nutters with anger issues that phone up wanting to start a argument so they can call you nasty names and threaten you. A lot of women will use safety apps to screen men who have many reports against them for either time wasting, no show bookings and pretending to be outside your road but there not even there they just get off on wasting your time. Then you have the dangerous reports where they have robbed women and attacked them, the ones that paid and tried to blackmail you after for a refund saying they will inform hotel after they had what they had off you, men that try removing the condom when having sex with you, men paying with a banking scam app where you do not even get paid, men that walk out on many women and insult you or pretend they left money in there car (a sick fetish where they have no intention to pay but get off on seeing a sex worker) and the horrible men from UK punting who use that site to harrass and blackmail for a better service. ( more about them at the end)

Then when you do get a client you hope he will be pleasant and at least not smell like the local sewer and pay up.

Now lets do percentages on clients.

Clean men who do not smell from there mouth, penis, bum, body. (After a shower)
20% i would say if that. Some men have no understanding that heavy breathing halitosis all over you is not in with the price or leaving skid marks on your towels and bedding then down below smelling of dried urine. There is not much embarrassment when you pull them up on it. A sorry that is not very genuine is what you get or just a Oh never realised.

Nice pleasant men who just want a nice time and respect that although they have paid they are not there to use you like a blow up doll and take advantage. I would say 15% possibly. I cannot say all men that visit are horrible vile people there is a few nice ones in there that treat you like a human but they are rare which is the sad point about this.

Married men that have zero respect for you and there wife. 80%. Yes you heard right. I don't like to see married men especially the type that boast about seeing lots of sex workers even hundreds and expect oral without a condom and even try to rub there bare penis on your lady bits and when you tell them not to they think you are ruining there fun and pull faces or keep asking. These are some of the married men that openly tell you they get regular sex with there wife but they want variety all the time some of these men have over 200 feedbacks on adultwork. They have no shame telling me all this as they must think i am just fine with this because what i do. No i take your money but think you are pond life for your lack of respect for your wife and women in general.

Horrible men that want to treat you like a submissive porn star even though that is not your advert. 50% i would say. Many when turned on change personality can even become spiteful gripping very hard, shoving your head down as hard as possible, pulling you around like a rag doll leaving finger bruises. When you tell some they might stop but you have killed the moment as they start going soft. What does that tell you? You also need to be on your guard that they will not try to stealth you because that does happen and when finished make sure you do not leave the client to get dressed while you are in bathroom as some will search for the money to take back.

Health risks. Well what can i say the more men you see the more risk some will have of catching STI's. Luckily i have not caught anything so far but i do not do so many of the risky sex acts but i know many women that have caught infections.

Now the dreaded UKpunting men. These lot are the worst of the worst not only no respect for sex workers but there whole intention is mostly abusing women and writing detailed reviews of a very private session all to make them feel good about themselves and the alpha male in charge. Lets make it clear this is not just any review site. It really is set up to take a lot from women and pay as little as possible. Normal review sites do not call women C*s or greedy bitches or low life whores because we dare charge them or put our prices up by £10, these lot do.

The men on there know exactly why most women do not want men from there booking them because a lot are dangerous they have form for blackmailing, harassing, stalking women and writing lies because a sex worker does not want to get face choked or have to french kiss them because they smell so bad and are so repulsive. They have also wrote personal details on the forum that has outed womens true identity. The previous owner used to have a thread aimed at getting verification photos taken from adultwork by accident of womens faces that were supposed to be hidden from the public but Adultwork had leaked that info by accident and UKpunting had software ready to grab these photos. Some women had contacted the owner at UK punting telling him to please remove my face photo as it was outed by accident on Adultwork and his response was no take me to court.

Ukpunting even had a thread on our safety app tools and telling dangerous clients how to get away with not showing up on it putting us in extra danger and so many on there have bad reports.

The website is really just there to fuel these mens ego's and fantasies by writing detailed reviews of what they do to us. They purposely try to disguise themselves by chaging times and dates because deep down they know they are predators. The most hypocritical thing is they expect discretion when it comes to them but they have no problem discussing every detail of what was said in the booking giving away personal info on general chit chst and discussing the slight bit of cellulite they might have seen or your body parts were not perfect enough.

If any man that stays on that site long enough it becomes obvious the majority of reviews and discussions are men that clearly are there to take advantage of us as much as possible. Decent men do not stay on that site and post reviews that cause us harm and danger they would leave. So these men are all guilty and as far as i am concerened they are happy to make our job harder and put us in bad situations. There is thousands of men on there and a lot married. They even come up with posts on how to get away with hiding it from there wives. I had one client once that told me his wife caught him and he swore on kids lives he would never do it again he told me he was back doing it again 6 weeks after this time using secretive sim and punting phone and planning his time visiting a lady by pretending to be working late and taken up a gym membership. These men have become too entitled and are only satisfied if the woman is literally selling her soul and giving the best performance of her life. Women are marked down if they have not taken enough inches down there throat or there eyes are not watering or there not gagging, this is how sick the website is and the men reviewing a lot of the time are some of the most repulsive to look at but there the least grateful, how does that even happen?

More alarming is the UKP men that do find a little young " hottie" age 18, 19, 0r 20 years of age that takes a great face f***g and throat pie as they call it the sad old men queue up to punt and review her, she gets quite busy all comparing notes and then she gives a few a STI infection there is hints mentioned it is her but within a few days that is old gossip they are all still all back there booking her and knowing she has a drug problem too, she is very unreliable keeps men waiting ages and her house is a dump but as long as they get there needs met they don't care and a lot of these are married. They knowingly take advantage of the fact she has a drug problem. This is the great UKpunting at there very best. They do not care if young girls have drug problems or are being pimped as long as what they pay gets them a dirty session that is all they care about. So many are just out right perverts 60 and 70 year old men booking 18 to 20 year old young women and never satisfied unless she delivers a oscar worthy performance.

With new laws data/right to be forgotten the online bill i have a feeling UKPunting could be in trouble at some point as there abuse of women is causing harm to so many.

I am making plans to leave the business and i cannot recommend this to anybody thinking of doing it. The only women it might suit are women that already like swinging, dogging and enjoy risky sex with strangers and will enjoy getting paid for something they already do.

The positives side of it that i will add are working when you want to and the hours you want, making more then minimum wage and coming across the small percentage of men that smell nice, behave nice and maybe that bring you a nice gift like chocolates, flowers, perfume or even tip you but this is rare i might add.

What i might add some sex workers do not do themselves or women any favours by writing such degrading filth on there advertising details of how graphic they will get on a booking and posting photos of there whole naked body parts fully exposed and photos and short clips of them taking a throat f Some of these older women have teenage kids and all there faces on show for the world to see. I feel deeply sorry for there kids as a parent exposing themselves in such a degrading way. If these women suddenly cannot do sex work anymore they have there face and body parts out there forever. Who would want to give these women a job in the real world if they know or find out about what they have done. Do they care if there kids get bullied or everybody finds out what there mum does? Obviously not.

There is women that work and there hubby is very cool with it, they say he is just open minded and knows it is only a job and he lets me make my own choices and very supportive. What they do not tell you some of these men do not work or only work part time and are sitting on there arses waiting for the money roll in while they play Russian roulette on what stranger might attack you or catching infections.

I Hope this post will help some women to decide if they really need or want to do this for money this is the reality of it.

You get the impression that a lot of punters (and cheaters in general) subscribe to the convenient view that monogamy is natural for women but not men, they're only doing what they're wired to do, women would never understand, it's an open secret among men, you have to pretend things are a certain way to keep the wife happy, but everybody know you can't expect a man to be monogamous and what they don't know won't hurt them (and they do everything else like a good husband and father, what the fuck more do people want).

This is a view (entirely unbased in reality or science or anthropology) that seems to have been widely held all over the world, probably because it's very convenient indeed for men and because they've had the power to act that way, usually without consequences (whereas the consequences for women of "promiscuity", infidelity, children outside wedlock etc ) , have been made as harsh as they could possibly be by male dominated society. I find it very notable that, before Juses' teachings and the New Testament, infidelity in the Bible/old testament could not be committed against a woman, only a man. There was no such crime against a woman. It was only if a married or single man had sex with a man's wife, that the terms of infidelity were met. It was a crime against the married man. There was no "understanding" of infidelity against a woman (as long as the women her husband had sex with were unmarried). It was the case in the UK that until the 20s I think, infidelity against a woman was not grounds for divorce, only against a man.

(You could ask why they marry/couple up, but look at all the advantages for them. And it's the norm, it's the conventional standard, it's also the easiest way to afford and raise their offspring).

I always think of the brothel crawlers and strip club crawlers I know and I can say with certainty they'd be outraged, angry, disgusted and hurt if their wives did anything approaching what they do; they'd be calling them all the descriptives reserved for "promiscuous" women. But they don't see themselves that way at all.

Some posters on this site have claimed polygamy would solve cheating and it always makes me lol - cheaters don't want polygamy. They want polygyny (male cheaters obviously.).

(Not that most female cheaters want polygamy either).

I feel no shame for my stance, I have no religion, and I am prejudice towards sex workers and their punters. Yet as a man, a father of girls and boys and a husband of many years, I have morals and standards some cannot understand but that is your issue not mine.

You use terms like self righteous, religious, obtuse to deflect from yourself. You cannot argue the point so you argue the person. It is beneath me.

When boiled down to it's simplest low resolution picture, the world would be a better place if the sex workers and the punters they sell sex to did not do such things. However, while there is one, there will be the other. I do not care about their motives, or their reasoning. Their motives and reasoning do not affect the world, their actions do.

Punters have been criminalised, I couldn't care less for them, pimps and the like are already illegal. Yet still the system persists. The only step left is to criminalise the act of selling sex. The system will still persist yet to a lesser extent.

I am all for any effort to reduce the amount of men and women selling sex and buying sex. If it's forced underground, so be it. The harder it is to find and the more severe the punishment the less will be involved.

You're personal attacks soothe my soul. For only the truth could hurt and motivate like so.

I don't think I've encountered someone on MN who despises women as much as you do.

It's been enlightening, thank you.

Oh you couldn't be more wrong. I love women, they are very special to me, they bring life to the world and they are the reason men build the world. My wife and daughter are the absolute light in my life.

I have worked it out where you have went wrong, you say women but what you really mean is women who sell sex, and even then, I do not despise them, I want them held accountable for thier actions and face the repercussions, and then get the help they do desperately need to change their ways. Like I would expect for a man in the sex trade.

why are you here and on this thread? you've got the whole internet to do your man thing on - can't you leave one place free of that??

I worry for his daughter with him filling her full of hatred towards other human beings that have fallen on hard times.

" men build the world" quote was quite strange

" men build the world" quote was quite strange

//

Quite.

See also "I have worked it out where you have went wrong, you say women but what you really mean is women who sell sex,"

Mansplaining too and referring to sex workers as if they are some sub category of women, also very telling.

Ah so this is a man!!!!!
Who so deeply understands what's it's like to be a woman, let alone a woman who is deprived, disadvantaged, exploited, coerced etc like most of the gang run, immigrant women who end up in prostitution in developed countries.

He must have such a deep understanding of what that's like, as a man, ....while he sits on high judging their "morality" and "strength".

Get off this forum ...you are embarrassing yourself.

And men don't build the world. That says everything about your mentality.

That's what some men do - demonise a woman to justify their actions to others .

We need these "world building men" to stop trafficking women with the promise of legitimate work, confining them under lock and key, threatening their families back home and then selling their bodies to enrich themselves.

Wouldn't you agree @Itsamthing?

If men are the problem why would you want or expect their help? Why don't women stand up and help these sex workers? So many seem content to abdacate for these sex workers, relinquish the responsibility for sex workers to do anything about their situation and support the choice of sex workers who do want to work as sex workers and enjoy the benefits it affords them.

With those opinions one could be excused for thinking they should butt out. Not me.

Perhaps we need to look at who has had sole custody of boys and girls for the past 3 or 4 decades. How they are taught and raised what they are taught, how they are protected and kept safe, things seem to be getting worse.

You sound like you’re reading from a script. You’re definitely buying what they’re selling, and I’m not just referring to sexworkers.

You do not have to look far to find many women both advocating for and actively working to support women within the sex industry and to pathways out of it. I doubt you’ve looked at all.

You might want to think about where you get your information from in general and the motives of those communities. It tends not to have the wellbeing of their followers in mind.

That's a disgusting thing to say. I would never make use of a sex worker. To go where hundreds have gone before me? I would rather die before paying a sex worker for their services and support their way of life.

I'll assume your 2nd paragraph is overall stating women are working to help women out of sex work. It's poorly worded and could be misconstrued as supporting and advocating for women to remain in the sex trade and for those wanting to leave. As with assumptions, like the ones you make about me. I could be wrong. So I'll ask directly, like you should; Do these women both for the sex trade and help women get out?

I am my own man and my thoughts are my own, guided by my core beliefs. Like most men.

Not asking for their help, just that they stop trafficking women to sell for sex. I think elementary research would show you that the gangs involved in this are rather a male dominated world.

You really don't understand what trafficking is, do you @Itsamthing ?

"You act like mansplaining is a bad thing"

😂

Oh that’s great to know! I just assumed you would be because you’re communicating so aggressively, with women on a feminist forum in such a misogynistic style, that you must be. Fab that you’re not. We get quite a few here who charge in like a bull in a china shop it’s hard to tell you all apart sometimes.

Thanks for the feedback on my communication, a man in the street gave me parking advice recently too, I loved it!

I’d love to answer your question, but I’m not sure I understand it:

Do these women both for the sex trade and help women get out?

If you’re asking whether some women advocate both for sex workers while also trying to help them get out, then the answer is yes. Hope that helps. In general, you’ll find that’s a comment approach within feminism. For example, we try to help women in abusive relationships to both survive while in them while also helping them to get out. If women are homeless, we try to help them while that’s the case, and also to get them housing. But if that’s not what you were asking, let me know. As you helpfully pointed out - you find my posts ‘poorly worded.’ 😊

The only reason men ‘made the world’ is because they squashed and silenced and subjugated women with the only advantage they have- physical strength. Used and abused it so women wernt able to ‘make’ anything except babies even if they wanted to.
And it’s still goes on today.

You changed the framing of the arguement. The op is about sex work.

Plenty of gangs use women as a lure to the sex trade. Yes I would imagine gangs are heavily male due to their propensity for violence.

What else would you like to know? It's easier to answer if you are specific.

I understand what trafficking is, I also understand it's not every women or man sex worker is trafficked.

Are you forgetting that women are responsible for both their own behaviour and men’s behaviour, when we’ve had it so helpful mansplained (it’s not a bad thing! 😆) @Uricon2?

Perhaps we need to look at who has had sole custody of boys and girls for the past 3 or 4 decades. How they are taught and raised what they are taught, how they are protected and kept safe, things seem to be getting worse.

But, I’m confused because he also said:

I am my own man and my thoughts are my own, guided by my core beliefs. Like most men.

Damn, my defective ladybrain. Is it just the bad behaviour we’re responsible for? I don’t know. I think I need some more parking advice.

Oh lord. He's back.

Nasty MRA folks, don't feed it. Just gives him a chance to feel superior up there in his ivory tower built by the Mighty Menz

In my old job (police) I used to have contact with a lot sex workers, mostly on-street but also off.

From what I've seen I think sex work is horrible and exploitative and damages all women, so I am not pro sex work. However, that does not mean I am anti sex-worker and feel that they should be criminalised. I don't. I have often been struck by the courage, tenacity and humanity of many of the women I met. The sheer grit to get through each day was something most of us can't fathom. And even the really addicted who would steal a punter's wallet in a heartbeat often showed generosity and kindness towards each other. We need to build a society that means women never need to choose sex work as a necessity and men don't seek it out to exploit and abuse.

Thank you for this post snowdust. It's brave of you to share your lived experience and I hope you manage to leave and build your better life. 💐

Agreed, best ignored and allowed to bloviate unanswered.