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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I was introduced to the wife today

165 replies

Sonygirl23 · 20/09/2022 21:46

Hi all,
I have done something wrong and I need advice.
Unfortunately I cheated on my partner. It was not an affair, just a one night stand with one customer from my work place. The sex was dead, there was no foreplay, no chemistry and frankly I felt more like a porn star than a person.
We didn't even kiss, just fucked.
Since then, I have deleted his number and we have not communicated in any shape or form.
Today he comes into the store with his wife and introduces me to her!
I was so stunned I was actually shaking but he seemed so calm about it.
AIBU to think this is fucked up of him to do?

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 20/09/2022 21:48

Only as fucked up as what you did to your partner.

JenJones5 · 20/09/2022 21:50

Yes, you are being unreasonable to act like that and then question someone else’s etiquette.

Just do the right thing, own up to your partner about what you’ve done, accept that this is who you are, and move on.

YerAWizardHarry01 · 20/09/2022 21:51

Did you know he was married? What did he introduce you as? Also I love the use of the word "unfortunately" almost insinuating you're not to blame or it was an accident..

badbaduncle · 20/09/2022 21:51

You've massively fucked up. He is fucking with your head letting you know he can ruin your life. I hope for your sake he leaves it here and you can avoid him from now on, but you need to think why you risked your marriage in such a crazy way - no return or reward at all.

CandidClarisse · 20/09/2022 21:52

Yeah it is... but as you've deleted all his details and are not in contact, and you regret what you did, then just forget about it and concentrate on your own relationship and if you want to carry that on or not.

drpet49 · 20/09/2022 21:55

RunningFromInsanity · 20/09/2022 21:48

Only as fucked up as what you did to your partner.

Exactly this

dangerrabbit · 20/09/2022 21:57

It was a weird thing to do. Sounds like this is a man who likes to play games.

GoneWithTheWine1 · 20/09/2022 21:58

No different to what your doing to your partner. Ffs tell him.

JenJones5 · 20/09/2022 21:59

badbaduncle · 20/09/2022 21:51

You've massively fucked up. He is fucking with your head letting you know he can ruin your life. I hope for your sake he leaves it here and you can avoid him from now on, but you need to think why you risked your marriage in such a crazy way - no return or reward at all.

Would it not be better if he told her partner though? Doesn’t the poor man deserve to know what his wife has been up to?

I can’t agree that the “right” thing here is to keep him in the dark. For one thing he needs to get tested for STDs, including HIV.

britneyisfree · 20/09/2022 21:59

What kind of customer? I'm wondering if you fucked some dude who popped into tesco or if it's a client you've known for a while?

Weird either way. But yeah forget it, you both cheated move on.

PineOrange · 20/09/2022 22:02

Are you sure it was his wife, or just another side piece like you and he was enjoying the moment of making her jealous and screwing with your head.

Some men can be like that.

I hope you've learnt from this crap experience.

Suzi888 · 20/09/2022 22:02

“Today he comes into the store with his wife and introduces me to her!” - As?????

JustSayIt8 · 20/09/2022 22:04

This is all kinds of fucked up. How long ago did the one-night stand happen? Is your work the type of place that a customer would bring their other half? I can think of some that would be appropriate. i.e., did he do it to screw you over, or did he do it because you are designing a kitchen for him (example), and his wife wanted to see the plans?

properdoughnut · 20/09/2022 22:05

Maybe he kept going on about you and they are in an open relationship unlike yourself.

J0y · 20/09/2022 22:08

He sounds like he wanted to relive the experience and /or make you nervous.

Sounds like you learnt from this. Don't beat yourself up because there is just no point. Shaming yourself will not mean it didn't happen.

Loachworks · 20/09/2022 22:08

You risked your whole life for a crap shag? Seriously? You're a lot of wives' worst nightmare. If DH was unfaithful I'd be devastated but it would be far worse if he jeopardised our lives and that of our children (he knows I'd leave) for a ONS. Please tell me you're not the complete cliché of being a barmaid and he was drunk.

MsBombastic555 · 20/09/2022 22:09

What a freak lol. Sounds like you're not bothered about him which is good. Learn from it and move on x

Floweryflora · 20/09/2022 22:09

is it she happened to be with him so he introduced her so you knew who she was?

and how did the one night stand happen, did you just meet him for sex somewhere?

Smellywellyhoo · 20/09/2022 22:11

You messed up, you're human. Forget about him, he's doesn't matter. You have two choices now- tell your partner and hope he forgives you or keep quiet and try to move on.

Backtonormalnow · 20/09/2022 22:13

I wonder why he did that. Poor woman anyway.

greystarblanchard · 20/09/2022 22:16

I mean you’re both as bad as each other tbh.

Riseabove · 20/09/2022 22:16

Yeah it is.. but so is your part in the story

SquirrelSoShiny · 20/09/2022 22:17

He's a fkn oddball. Cut him dead.

RaRaRaspoutine · 20/09/2022 22:19

covering his tracks maybe? Like “this is X she’s that friend I told you about” and acting calm to make a point and try to fool her?

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/09/2022 22:20

What sort of work do you do?