I was introduced to the wife today

[Sonygirl23]

Hi all,
I have done something wrong and I need advice.
Unfortunately I cheated on my partner. It was not an affair, just a one night stand with one customer from my work place. The sex was dead, there was no foreplay, no chemistry and frankly I felt more like a porn star than a person.
We didn't even kiss, just fucked.
Since then, I have deleted his number and we have not communicated in any shape or form.
Today he comes into the store with his wife and introduces me to her!
I was so stunned I was actually shaking but he seemed so calm about it.
AIBU to think this is fucked up of him to do?

You can never start afresh or recover completely until you are truthful with yourself and your partner. Stop trying to avoid the repercussions of what has happened. Your partner may forgive, and you may split up.
Whatever happens, it will pass.

I think he just enjoys the dominance. He introduced you to his wife to make you uncomfortable and worried.

"Be sure your sins will find you out" 🙂

He introduced you to his wife to make you uncomfortable and worried. Or to do the same to his poor wife.

@AnyFucker sloppy seconds?

I am not a cheat. But I agree with the statement. Telling a partner assuages guilt so it’s not always the right thing to do. op needs to evaluate her relationship and decide if she is worthy of her partner or if they should split

His wife needed something from your shop.he could hardly say no.
Maybe he's not being a prick.just getting on with life with his partner as are you.
Maybe he wondered why you served him.were you trying to mess with his head.getting a thrill over being introduced to his wife?
Just rotating the dialogue here.
Those saying newsflash men who they aren't nice people.insinuating he did this to punish op because he must be a knob as he cheated .your aware the op cheated?

Totally.

Most marriage & relations counsellors' opinion is not to confess it to the partner/spouse because it's more likely to make him/her very insecure, make them suffer, and often good relations are more likely to break.

It's different when cheating was found out by the spouse/partner. Then the person can't deny it because it's obvious and there is proof.

I think he introduced his wife just because they were out for a coffee/meal together and you were working on that day and saw them, not anything unusual. Your body language reaction was natural to the situation - guilt and shame about what has happened.

It's good you've learned your lesson. It's time to forgive yourself, never do it again, and move on.

He could have looked for anyone else for assistance. Why on earth did he choose me out of all people to assist him and his wife?

Tell your partner so he can decide if he wants to stay with you. Did you tell this client that he was a ‘shit fuck’? Maybe that will keep him away as he obviously thinks he’s some kind of stud if he has brought his wife in after.

Hi OP, I had a friend - well actually she was more of a colleague - and we used to go out in a group from work on the last Friday of the month, we lived relatively close to each other so we would share a taxi home after the evening out (I am going back about 30 years now). Anyway, one time on the journey back she told me something very personal about her marriage - I have always presumed that she must have drunk more than normal that night because she never usually mentioned anything about her husband or marriage, and I wish she hadn't then, as I am sure that I must have treated her a bit differently after that, even though I tried not to - she told me that they had an open marriage but that she never took "advantage" of it herself.

She said that she got turned on by her husband having one night stands with other women, sometimes women he met normally, and other times he would hire an "escort". She said it didn't happen very many times a year, but definitely a few if he got the opportunity. But he would then tell her all about it! She insisted that she liked him doing it, but that if it ever turned into an affair she would leave him, but she seemed to trust him that it wouldn't. Of course I don't know that she didn't make the whole thing up, maybe because she wanted to shock me, but she did seem sincere to me.

I hadn't thought about her for ages, but what you said made me wonder if the man you slept with could have a similar relationship with his wife, and that because you were somewhere that she could go to, she got him to introduce you to her. How did he tell her that he knew you well enough to introduce you both - I presume he didn't say, "hey DW this is the ONS that I was telling you about"!!?

He does not have an open relationship with his wife. Hes very strict about sending messages at the right time, deleting all messages before going home etc

What kind of job are you in where you got into a position where you had sex with a customer with no build up without you being their dedicated contact?

Because he wanted to see how you'd react.

I accept that people are human and fallible. But a lot of people who cheat on their partners are horrible. Sorry. What he did by bringing his wife to you is not surprising. He gets a thrill from her not knowing and you feeling bad.

Before thinking about doing anything like that, I would always put myself into a wife's place who was cheated on and how it would make her & me feel.

Doing it would quickly explain not to ever contemplate it.

My rule is: 'If you are not happy, work on your relations if possible, end it if it doesn't work then go to your next one and never cheat.'

But I understand everyone is different.

Eww you are disgusting. Please leave your partner to spare him the indignity of having to sleep in the same bed as you every night not knowing what you have done.

Impossible to know his motivation in introducing her to you but I'm wondering if maybe she just wanted to go out with him to the venue and because he knew it would be awkward if he tried to make excuses not to go, he had to take her then act normal in front of her so she wouldn't suspect anything?

That doesn't sound much like a ons to me, if you know that much about him? But then what do I know, I have had 2 long term relationships, and no 1 night stands - in fact I can count how many men I have had sex with on one hand, and that is not a boast, I think it might have been good to have had more experience...

Sounds like more than a random fuck situation..
Are you okay? Like mentally? Because s random shag with a customer is just so weird. Did you use protection? You need to get tested.

Seems more than a ons if you know so much about this.

Why are you giving what his motives are any head space? I don't understand

If he actively sought you out then it's much more likely he did it for kicks. If you're interested, you'd have to examine the deeper issues. He might have a madonna/whore issue for instance (which would also explain the type of sex you describe having had with him). He might like the thrill of doing something 'naughty' behind 'mummy's' back (an indication he might have NPD).
All really fascinating but you should really focus on yourself and not on him since his own behaviour is all about him. He is not treating you as a person, just as an object, and he is not worth your time.

I was going to say this too.

Thankyou everyone.
For your information we only slept once together. We didn't text much to begin with and broken all contact since the shit shag