My ex is stopping money for his now 'independent' autistic son.

[placemats]

Bit of a mix here, but I know that if it was posted on AIBU, I would get roasted.

So my ex is now stopping payment for my autistic son because he's 21 and of an age of independence. The reality is he still needs me to cook a hot meal for him, get him to appointments and travel hundreds of miles to see his partner.

He's got a one off child payment which amounts to £2,500 now he's 21 because of a child savings we set up when he was born - obviously it was a post university account but our son didn't go to university. He lives with me, I support him day to day. The household has an income of no more than £10,000 a year, but I do own the house. Ex has a household income that is above £100,000 a year.

I just feel this is unjust and he should pay until our son is fully living an independent life. Am I being unreasonable to request that he keep the not very substantial monthly contribution on? I find it most egregious given the cost of living crisis.

Pardon?

This, it’s really important for everyone to plan ahead. It’s much better for the adult child as well .

I doubt though OP will listen, she hasn’t listened to any of us giving her information on what she can do re getting assessment for support, places who can advise and people like yourself sharing your own experience .

it’s very frustrating but her focus is on her ex and not her son and his long term needs . This isn’t saying things have been unfair re the father , but the issue is now how to best support the son into adulthood .

I also posted some links and explained about assessments etc .

the OP doesn’t want to hear this . She wants her ex to keep paying, the needs of what is best for her now adult son are being lost in her anger at her ex .

Don't sell your house op, that's your security.

Do find out details on assisted housing for your ds.

to answer your op no you cant make him pay anything-most nrp stop at 18 i know my friends ex has the date on his calendar

twat

I note a lot of people are saying that support provision can only be made until the children is 18 or leaves school as part of a divorce.This is generally the case but the exception is where a dependent child will become a dependent adult.

This can be reflected in the settlement, either as a lump sum or continuing support after 18. Even a clause allowing for spousal support to be paid in the event of change of circumstances.

We don’t know what happened in the OPs case due to the lack of detail. But it’s important that people know such circumstances can be considered as part of a divorce settlement.

It sounds like you resent your ex for running off and leaving you to take care of your son. You say you'd be better off alone. I agree. Cant you put your son into a group home?

Holding onto bitterness will hurt you and you alone

your son can access independent living accommodation and you should think about looking into it

also why not just send his father an email explaining your predicament? He can only say no.

Unfortunately you can’t make your ex pay if he doesn’t want to but I do sympathise with you. Where does the £250 come from into his account for spending money he doesn’t use. Are you his appointee and paying it in? Wouldn’t it be better to put this in savings or make better use of it. I think you should see your GP with a view to counselling and support to help plan your sons future because you won’t always be there. There may be sheltered accommodation he can move to which would free you to sell up if you want

If your son gets PIP and you take it for his food and you also claim Carers Allowance I don't see how much more it can cost to feed your son and get him clothes. You don't have to drive him hundreds of miles to see his gf. Does your son claim UC in his own name, as if 21 surely he could do so now?

Why should your son be his sister’s responsibility?

Zombie