CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

[Grumpusaurus]

We live in a popular tourist destination and after numerous people took advantage of us, we nip it in the bud now. Most seem to follow the same script by contacting us out of the blue and mentioning that it would be so lovely to see us. I now answer in a very friendly manner that it has been years since we last heard from them and it would indeed be lovely to catch up over coffee in a nearby spot when they are in the area. This does tend to put an end to most of those potential CFs, however, one acquaintance pushed back and asked to stay with us at the beginning of September. I told her that this would not be possible, especially as we have a very tight deadline and will be working flat out to finish a commission. DH and I are self-employed craftspeople and sometimes we do work all day and most of the night to finish pieces and the DC stay at their grandparents during that last push. Not heard back from the acquaintance since July even though she clearly read my WhatsApp message.

The doorbell went this evening, I ignored it as DH and I were in the middle of working on our commission but someone kept pushing the bell. Our property is an L-shape so you can see from our workshop who is at the front door. CF acquaintance was standing there with a suitcase! DH is more of a people pleaser and while really cheesed off was about to answer the door till I told him no bloody way! He redeemed himself by immediately agreeing. The bell went a few more times and then got a flurry of WhatsApp messages, which I ignored. She eventually left after half an hour. I am almost bemused by the cheek of it but there is no way I am going to let anyone railroad me into being their free accommodation and greatly inconveniencing us, especially while we literally get up to work all hours and fall into bed. DH is fretting about her coming back but I told that we will just continue to ignore the doorbell. We have a back gate to a dirt track we can stealth like leave the property if she is holding a siege at the front door 😎 There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs in the area, albeit quite dear. Who does that! A rhetorical question but am just shocked by the cheek of just turning up after saying emphatically No!

DH and I really appreciate the responses. When people are that outrageously brazen you almost begin to question yourself, so we really enjoyed your CF tales! They are weirdly addictive, similar to pimple popping videos 😆

I fully realise that I have broken one of the principal unwritten MN rules, aside from not providing a diagram for parking threads, by not providing the full messages' exchange. I also admit that I would be super nosey to find out what the messages said if this was someone else’s thread! I would secretly curse them for failing to dish up the juicy bits.

The message preview read “Hey I just got to ur place wha…” Thanks for the tips regarding not triggering blue ticks, I never bothered to do this but got the gist of it. However, I really do not want to give her too much headspace. Not sure this makes any sense. I posted on here to digest this level of cfuckery, as I was so gobsmacked. I am quite used to ignoring uninvited visitors, an absolute must when you live and work in the same place to not get sidetracked. But if I read her messages, I would probably get involuntarily sucked into her drama and I refuse to acknowledge her nor deal with her directly or indirectly, especially until after our deadline. It absolutely has fuck all to do with us if her accommodation fell through or any other issues. That’s her problem plus now with the holidays over in our zone, there will be plenty of available hotel rooms, even last minute.

I am absolutely determined to not engage or respond at the very least until we finish our current project on Tuesday and then spend some quality time before we start new work. She never replied to my message in July, so I may do the same. I really appreciate being able to vent on here but I really don’t have the energy for any direct confrontation. We aren’t intimidated by her and would continue to ignore her if she came back, which would not surprise me. It doesn’t mean we are living in some siege mentality but we prefer to be left in peace.

Our large main gates are locked but we have a small portal that we should put a lock on. This is on our list, as well as getting a video entrance thingy. So she had to get out of her car and walk down a rather long drive to get to our entrance hence we very much doubt this was a fleeting social call en route to her hotel. A lot of the possible excuses sound pretty spot on!

She might have wanted to say hello. You should have at least read the messages to see what she wanted. I doubt she would have booked no accomodation then just turned up without confirmation from you. I do wonder about all these CF stories recently 🤔

Why would she have brought her suitcase to the door if she just wanted to say hello?

In this instance, not answering the door is the correct thing to do.

Might have used public transport instead of driving ?

At last a truly hilarious thread thank you, I do so enjoy tales of people who it hardly seems possible exist from the safety of my sofa 😂

So why would she park her car and walk up a long drive with her suitcase?😂😂😂Clearly she's expecting to stay.

About 3 months after we bought holiday home in France we were there eating out croissants and a person knocked on door. It was an English lady who just thought she would pop over to stay overnight with previous owner, something she often did apparently. Previous owner forgot to tell her she sold house. We pointed this person to local town for overnight accommodation.

Yanbu to not open the door.
If you aren't even going to open the whatsapp thread you might as well block the number and consider the friendship dead.

If you'd be open to keeping the friendship, obviously with firm reasonable boundaries in place, I would reply something like "When I said we wouldn't be able to host you after you contacted me in July, I thought I explained we are working flat out to a deadline and barely have time to stop for a wee let alone open the front door. If you are still in the area after (deadline date) it would be nice to meet for a cup of tea then"

Please please please say you will update us once your project is completed!

I think you’ve done the right thing by firstly not opening the door, and second, by not reading her messages.

If she had to walk up a long drive to ring your doorbell, she wouldn’t have dragged her suitcase just for a coffee…. She had come to stay, and by ignoring her completely (as she did to your message) you have headed her off beautifully. Well done and please update on Tuesday!

Oh PLEEEASE be the bakers who made that enormous fish cake on the telly!!

Excellent boundary setting btw 😁

Placemarking for when she comes back today. I’m also a bit dubious whether she was expecting to stay or whether she took public transport (hence suitcase) and just wanted a quick visit. Surely no one’s that cheeky?

I love this!
I love reading about CFs and I love even more when people stand their ground.
i would love to know though what those messages say….

She had already told her on WhatsApp that she couldn't come. If she opened the door it would be impossible not to have her stay at least that night.

Glad that most people got why we don’t want to engage with this CF acquaintance. She shown that she has the hide of a rhino. Having read some right clangers on the Mexican House Thief and similar threads, I know this ranks midfield at best when it comes to outrageous CFs.

Someone asked how we know her. She is part of a wider scene we are part of not linked to our work. I have no interest in having coffee with her. I don’t even like her. She is a domineering Queen Bee who posts patronising motivational, faux humble trite and has quite a reputation for trying to steam roller over other people. More than enough reason not to want to interact with her even before this. Nearly posted examples but this would probably be quite outing. She got my WhatsApp details from an old group chat from yonks ago and another mutual friend accidentally gave her our address, as she gushed about us being new besties, wanting to send me something. Part of being an adult and because we do have some mutual friends, I have to be civil to her. Before she found out what we do and more importantly where we live, she wouldn’t even look at us with her arse at events.

Settling in to see if she will turn up again today 🍿

So proud of you for not engaging with the CF. My PILs turned up at our house in a holiday destination when I was 6 weeks postpartum with a sick baby and broken after an unexpected c section.

We had categorically told them we lived in a tiny 2 bed cottage with zero space for anyone but they turned up anyway with their suitcases. I thought they’d brought them in because they didn’t want to leave them in the car. They didn’t tell us they were staying until 8pm, when they’d been there 7 hours and the CFs drove DH and I to Argos/Sainsburys to buy a blow up bed AND FULL BEDDING for their week long stay. Then they went upstairs and I found out an hour later they had emptied our nursery into our room, and moved into the baby room. They just wouldn’t listen to any ‘no’ at all and short of calling the police I didn’t know what to do.

They then had the audacity to complain about the baby crying in the night when we were up all night with him projectile vomiting and when they left we found poo smeared on the bathroom wall. They expected me to wait on them hand and foot and when I ignored them they guilted DH into it.

I was so upset and they KNOW they are not welcome to stay but they still try to invite themselves. Most recent was the start of last month. When we last visited them (pre covid) they were most perplexed that we might break up the 12 hour return journey with a hotel and gave us a note with a random address of some distant relative and said “XX lives in Preston so stay with them on the way to save money” Yeah, I’m sure XX would LOVE an uninvited family they’d never met coming to stay with a newborn at zero notice! I just don’t know how people go through life being so rude!
Don’t answer that door if she comes back! 💪

I'm plonking my bottom down right here to wait for Tuesday...

So we need to know what the messages are and what the commission is. I hope all becomes clear next week 🤣

We have to know what those messages say!!! And also what you are making!?

Flip me!!!

I’m here to find out what you do, message deets and what happens today 🧐

She wouldn't even look at us with her arse

Love a CF thread. I am dying to know what she has written in her messages. She might delete them if you don't read them OP <hoping OP changes her minds and reads them 😳 >

The absolute neck of some people

But she would not have brought her case up the path