CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

[Grumpusaurus]

We live in a popular tourist destination and after numerous people took advantage of us, we nip it in the bud now. Most seem to follow the same script by contacting us out of the blue and mentioning that it would be so lovely to see us. I now answer in a very friendly manner that it has been years since we last heard from them and it would indeed be lovely to catch up over coffee in a nearby spot when they are in the area. This does tend to put an end to most of those potential CFs, however, one acquaintance pushed back and asked to stay with us at the beginning of September. I told her that this would not be possible, especially as we have a very tight deadline and will be working flat out to finish a commission. DH and I are self-employed craftspeople and sometimes we do work all day and most of the night to finish pieces and the DC stay at their grandparents during that last push. Not heard back from the acquaintance since July even though she clearly read my WhatsApp message.

The doorbell went this evening, I ignored it as DH and I were in the middle of working on our commission but someone kept pushing the bell. Our property is an L-shape so you can see from our workshop who is at the front door. CF acquaintance was standing there with a suitcase! DH is more of a people pleaser and while really cheesed off was about to answer the door till I told him no bloody way! He redeemed himself by immediately agreeing. The bell went a few more times and then got a flurry of WhatsApp messages, which I ignored. She eventually left after half an hour. I am almost bemused by the cheek of it but there is no way I am going to let anyone railroad me into being their free accommodation and greatly inconveniencing us, especially while we literally get up to work all hours and fall into bed. DH is fretting about her coming back but I told that we will just continue to ignore the doorbell. We have a back gate to a dirt track we can stealth like leave the property if she is holding a siege at the front door 😎 There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs in the area, albeit quite dear. Who does that! A rhetorical question but am just shocked by the cheek of just turning up after saying emphatically No!

The OP and her husband are carving 2 foot high letters from fallen tree trunks.
They have an order from MNHQ for a thousand Ns and a thousand Os. You will soon be able to order your very own big NO from this very website to help you deal with CFs

Is anyone else picturing Phillippa and Grayson hiding behind a massive sculpture in their workshop?

😁

’Be more Grumpusaurus’ is my new motto.

I’m so invested in this.

Roll on Tuesday… !

I was going to reply asking what CF means. But after reading the whole thread I think I've worked it out 😂

Still in possession of her suitcase at the time????

Well done @Grumpusaurus for not opening the door (there is no rule whatsoever that says you must open your door) and for ignoring her.

That really does take the biscuit.

So sorry but I cannot tell you what we do. That would probably be a bit outing as we do have a mixture of private, corporate and public commissions. DH chuckled that this has gotten everyone so curious. Our main joint venture is mostly done by hand and very labour intensive but there are often some mainly short intervals between various stages before we can continue hence why I am sneaking onto MN. DH and I do other crafts too. We chuckled at some of the comments about making stuff that was then too large to get outside, as this has happened with a previous workshop, we had to dismantle some of the walls to get the bloody work out. We moved to our place because it is just on the periphery of a very popular holiday destination but the surrounding area is very rural with no public transport and absolutely no new builds allowed, so we can usually enjoy privacy as it is quite a big terrain. Our workshop was a former hangar for large vehicles and wine making machines, so we got huge doors and a pretty cavernous space. Our work can be very large but so far no letters. 😂

She sounds like the type to complain far and wide that you left her standing on the doorstep. And a huge swathe of acquaintances that she has steam rollered in the past will be silently cheering you on.

Loved this bit too. 🤣

I feel I need to adopt this phrase, thanks OP.

Why didn’t you just open the door and explain the situation though? Surely that would remove all the drama and allow yin to be clear about the position??

"LESS" drama....... ???by opening the door?
Seriously doubt it.

Someone like that will make sure there's lots of drama.

Well done OP. Much less dramatic your way. Big boring boundaries.

The extremely selfish part of me wants you to leave her on read, but really only so we can find out the content of the messages.

What a weird situation. I mean, you handled it, for sure but she didn't really sound like much of a friend in the first place. I wonder why she bothered.

Completing the range are F, & T, F & O

Absolutely fantastic to hear of someone dealing with cf behaviour properly, right from the start-I absolutely bow down to you!

Wow I love your attitude.

You stood up for yourself with no fucks given.

Even now with all the replies making excuses for the CF, you aren't engaging til after Tuesday.👏

Brilliant OP. Also in awe that you manage to work so closely with a spouse without murdering each other!

Our main joint venture is mostly done by hand and very labour intensive but there are often some mainly short intervals between various stages before we can continue hence why I am sneaking onto MN.

The surrounding area is very rural with no public transport and absolutely no new builds allowed, so we can usually enjoy privacy as it is quite a big terrain. Our workshop was a former hangar for large vehicles and wine making machines, so we got huge doors and a pretty cavernous space.

They are Walter White and Jesse.

Thats so rude! I would have done the same in your shoes

DH and I are laughing like drains trying to imagine various scenarios of CF acquaintance trying to invade Chateau Grampus. We were howling when I told him that someone did commiserate with us for not having a balcony to empty the contents of our commode on said intruder, as we more or less discussed the same defense strategy!

DH keeps going on about us opening the front door to find a large scale wooden creature outside with CF hiding inside, having our very own Trojan Elephant. Think I might limit his coffee intake…

And sorry to be an utter spoilsport. We are about to do more tricky work, so DH has switched the doorbell off and we will be busy for a lot of the day. DH and I really work well together but he does sometimes really curtail my creativity though, such as pointing out just now that hooking up the door handle to give electric shocks is illegal.

@Grumpusaurus - if you turn on Airplane mode on your phone, you can open WhatsApp and her chat and read the messages without ever triggering the blue ticks.

Also, as she didn't respond to your message that you sent her earlier this year saying no, she can't stay with you, I'm assuming she read it? Then do the same back to her. Read her messages but just don't respond.

Whatever about not opening your door last night to her, you're more likely to bump into her in the local shop/coffee shop/bar if you're exiting your own house under stealth so better to brazen it out than hide (imo). If you do bump into her, just simply say that you never said that she could stay, you have a message you sent her on X date and she read it on Y date telling her this. You're not entertaining any guests and certainly not ones who just rock up to your front door.

You've absolutely nothing to lose.

CF is Hank.

Perhaps what is required here is

NO VACANCIES

I think you did the right thing by not answering the door or reading the messages straight away.

However, I could not concentrate knowing she could come back at any minute and she could stick around for days.

I would read the messages and depending on what she said - say ‘sorry we are not available this week, we’ll have to catch up another time instead’.

If she says about staying I would be blunt back and ask why she thought it was appropriate to just turn up and assume it was ok when you both work FT, have DCs and lives.
And because of this behaviour you don’t want any communication with her in the future.

I wouldn’t get into a conversation but I would shut it down quickly so I didn’t have to worry about her turning up or bumping into her and finding an excuse face to face.

@Grumpusaurus you are my favourite MN person
I envy your steely resolve while retaining a sense of humour. Your hubby sounds like a laugh too!

@Grumpusaurus well done for not opening the messages the day she arrived (the CF for arriving on your doorstep with her luggage). It’s the next day so I would be tempted to read the messages. If she said she’s arrived but not mentioned staying with you (the CF) I would text back: “I hope you enjoy your holiday! It’s really lovely here. I’m busy with work so I won’t have time to meet up with you. Hope you have a great time though!”