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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

910 replies

Grumpusaurus · 02/09/2022 01:04

We live in a popular tourist destination and after numerous people took advantage of us, we nip it in the bud now. Most seem to follow the same script by contacting us out of the blue and mentioning that it would be so lovely to see us. I now answer in a very friendly manner that it has been years since we last heard from them and it would indeed be lovely to catch up over coffee in a nearby spot when they are in the area. This does tend to put an end to most of those potential CFs, however, one acquaintance pushed back and asked to stay with us at the beginning of September. I told her that this would not be possible, especially as we have a very tight deadline and will be working flat out to finish a commission. DH and I are self-employed craftspeople and sometimes we do work all day and most of the night to finish pieces and the DC stay at their grandparents during that last push. Not heard back from the acquaintance since July even though she clearly read my WhatsApp message.

The doorbell went this evening, I ignored it as DH and I were in the middle of working on our commission but someone kept pushing the bell. Our property is an L-shape so you can see from our workshop who is at the front door. CF acquaintance was standing there with a suitcase! DH is more of a people pleaser and while really cheesed off was about to answer the door till I told him no bloody way! He redeemed himself by immediately agreeing. The bell went a few more times and then got a flurry of WhatsApp messages, which I ignored. She eventually left after half an hour. I am almost bemused by the cheek of it but there is no way I am going to let anyone railroad me into being their free accommodation and greatly inconveniencing us, especially while we literally get up to work all hours and fall into bed. DH is fretting about her coming back but I told that we will just continue to ignore the doorbell. We have a back gate to a dirt track we can stealth like leave the property if she is holding a siege at the front door 😎 There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs in the area, albeit quite dear. Who does that! A rhetorical question but am just shocked by the cheek of just turning up after saying emphatically No!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
MichelleScarn · 02/09/2022 06:42

If you open the door, she'll of course need the loo, then when in would suddenly get a message her accommodation is cancelled......

Cas112 · 02/09/2022 06:48

CaptaNoctem · 02/09/2022 01:18

I would have ignored it too

Me too

templesit · 02/09/2022 06:49

Definitely don't open the door!

'I'm bursting for the toilet'
' My feet are killing me'
'I've just had some terrible news' sniff
'My car has broken down'
'Just tonight and I'll find somewhere'
'I've got a migraine coming on'
'I am so stressed and need 5 minutes'

choosername1234 · 02/09/2022 06:52

What did her WhatsApp messages say?

MoltenLasagne · 02/09/2022 06:53

Hopefully she'll learn her lesson and not try it again!

CookieCoo · 02/09/2022 06:54

So curious about what you’re making 😂

Zonder · 02/09/2022 06:57

I'd open the messages now and if they say something like I'm here to stay, respond with "whaaaat? But we told you we were super busy. Have only just had time to open the messages. Hope you got somewhere good to stay - ok back to work x"

WhatNoRaisins · 02/09/2022 06:59

You did the right thing as I don't think you can let people like this in just this once and have it be just this once.

carefullycourageous · 02/09/2022 07:03

You did right, what a cheeky sod! I'd be interested to know of they reappear.

daisychain01 · 02/09/2022 07:05

NewIdeasToday · 02/09/2022 01:10

Why didn’t you just open the door and explain the situation though? Surely that would remove all the drama and allow yin to be clear about the position??

The OP and DH had zero need to explain themselves, why should they waste their time when they're flat out working on a commission to engage with someone they don't want in their home.

you did the right thing, OP, I cannot understand how someone would contemplate showing up uninvited with a suitcase, they sound delusional and lacking in social etiquette. What a shame you don't have a balcony to empty a commode on them Grin

OurChristmasMiracle · 02/09/2022 07:14

I would be very tempted to open the message and say “but I was very clear that it would not be possible for you to stay with us back in July- that hasn’t changed. Hope you sort something out”.

do not answer the door today either to her!!

Gilmorehill · 02/09/2022 07:14

Well done Op!

kateandme · 02/09/2022 07:19

Oh you need to see!
Turn on notification to locked page. I no they are sent now but then you just need to get dh to message you now.the whole of WhatsApp messages then appear to yoyr locked screen.if you then click the tiny down arrow by her name you can read any unseen messages.

girlmom21 · 02/09/2022 07:19

I think you should open her messages and reply this morning.

Diplidocus4 · 02/09/2022 07:20

Here for the commission details and what you do !

kateandme · 02/09/2022 07:21

kateandme · 02/09/2022 07:19

Oh you need to see!
Turn on notification to locked page. I no they are sent now but then you just need to get dh to message you now.the whole of WhatsApp messages then appear to yoyr locked screen.if you then click the tiny down arrow by her name you can read any unseen messages.

This is a generally needed tool anyway for ANYONE else on here.i hope I explained it enough to understand😶

MILLYmo0se · 02/09/2022 07:23

Some people are just baffling.... Dying to see if she returns today!

Eddielizzard · 02/09/2022 07:24

Wow that is brass necked!

Am I the only one who really really wants to know what you do?

LateSummerLobelia · 02/09/2022 07:26

We live in a popular tourist area that has a major music festival every year. I am heartily sick of the phone call a few weeks before from people we have not heard from for years saying how they'd love to catch up and by a massive coincidence they are going to the festival..... occasionally the 'accommodation is all booked out so expensive' in the same phone call, but the more craft ones do the initial phone call or text then follow it up 2 days later with the 'accommodation is all booked/ so expensive'.

DH is still reasonably tolerant of this. I lost my tolerance a decade ago.

TuxedoJunction · 02/09/2022 07:26

Who in their right mind turns up at someone’s door with a suitcase (assume they are expecting to stay), after being told that it’s not possible for them to stay? I’m really interested to hear what’s in her messages. I’m guessing it’s going to be along the lines of ‘the place I booked has no record of my booking’ or some other nonsense. Stand firm Op!

kateandme · 02/09/2022 07:27

She will have to leave at some point.dont give in.give someone an inch and all that.this is now an act of stand your ground war! Your doing it for us all ok.
Amy chance u can take a sneaky pic of her at it door with a suitcase.

Riverlee · 02/09/2022 07:28

Anyone else curious as to what craft projects you do?

Sswhinesthebest · 02/09/2022 07:29

Go girl!

beebopper6 · 02/09/2022 07:29

How ridiculous!

I once had an acquaintance assume she could stay in our house while we were away on holidays. She booked a flight to our city on that assumption and then was FURIOUS when I said it didn't suit us to have her house sit. Literally very upset and angry.

I'd never said anything to hint that this would be possible, she just figured we were going away and wouldn't need the house.

DartmoorDoughnut · 02/09/2022 07:30

Love that you just ignored her, hope she stayed away!

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