My relationship with my mum, dad and brother broke down around 6 or so years ago. It was a long time coming. I stopped being the one to visit and maintain connection. I decided I didn't want to keep bringing my young kids into a house with so much volatility, addiction, lack of boundaries. It was adversely affecting my mental health and ability to look after my own family. So we ended up very low contact (birthday cards only, even that dwindling). Had years of counselling. All very painful.
My dad died yesterday. My brother called me to tell me. I am booked to go on a cruise on Sunday with my husband and two kids. This is a big deal holiday for us (who are traditionally campers). We could I think claim money back via insurance (although we wouldn't get this holiday again as it was a good deal coming out of Covid). Initially I thought I had to cancel the holiday no question. But some friends have gently pointed out that I could still go. Missing his funeral wouldn't be the end of the world given our relationship had broken down and I hadn't seen or spoken to him in nearly 7 years. No date for funeral yet. It will be small, prob crematorium. It may not even be next week so I could end up cancelling for nothing anyway.
Now I'm not sure what to do. I have to decide by tomor at the latest. I realise there is no easy answer to this. Would really appreciate input from other estranged adult children.