I’m being used for sex…but in too deep now!

[Remoteclockface]

First thing first, I’m a terrible person because I had an affair - but still asking for advice!

I met a guy, started an affair at the very end of a LTR. I ended my relationship and kept the affair (affair is married too).

I’ll be honest OM was everything I needed after a very long crappy relationship. He was affectionate, listened to me, we went on dates, had (really good) sex, held hands when out, text everyday…but he is married (we don’t have kids).

I didn’t tell him me and Partner separated as I didn’t want him to think I wanted a relationship with him because I absolutely do no, he is a (serial) cheat after all!

Thing is…I have got deep feelings for OM and clearly for him it’s about sex…I want the sex and the nice bits but he is often distant and I really struggle with it…

How the hell do I get out of this mess?????

You're just some sex on a platter to an opportunistic dick. If you were anything more, he would leave his relationship. Hate to say it, but he probably doesn't think the sex is as good as you do either (because you have "caught" feelings and he hasn't, although may say he has to avoid conflict). The holding hands, cuddling whatever else he does to make you believe it's more, well men do this with the women their shagging, they just like the affection, but the woman they do it with can be interchangeable. Unlike women whose affection is usually directed at only one source.

31 isn't that young. If you want to get married and have kids you need to get a grip and grow up a bit.