Dating Thread 232 - Loving Ourselves First

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Naimee87 I can totally understand your feelings. Many of us will have had this happen to us but after such a long lengthy relationship it’s just not on. The difficulty is that unless he decides to reply or get in touch you can send as many messages as you want and he could just continue to ignore them.

It’s a really hard place to be in @Naimee87 . I really would want to know what happened??

If you don’t ask you’ll never know. Risk it, positive or negative. Don’t ever stay anxious. These fellas are relative strangers - so keep it pragmatic in this respect. x

...and i think it would hurt more/set me back if i send texts and they go through and are ignored. But helps to have a forum like this. I just dont ever want to write or react in a way that i then regret. Well for now i am calm but i think a wobble is inevitable.

Then you have your answer. Ignoring texts is incompatible with normal relating. Let this one go. x

Then you have your answer. Ignoring texts is incompatible with normal relating. Let this one go. x

Maybe you could send a closure email? That way you'll never see if he's read or received it but you will have said everything that you need to. You could also print it out and give it to a friend to 'receive', make a little ritual of it, then burn it or something similar. Grieve and move on.

It's so shitty that this has happened 🌺❤️🌺

If only it were that easy we met waaay back in 2020 and got back involved again for over a year... so not some random i just met. But admittedly it has not always been easy/smooth sailing but lately all signs pointed to everything being fine shows what a good judge of character i am.

Its really shitty @Naimee87 and it’s nothing at all about you, your judgment, or anything you’ve done. It’s him being a cowardly human being. Hope he gets to feel the way he’s made you feel one day 💐

Naimee87

unless im mistaken he has not even read any
messages ?
as they are one grey tick ☑️
which means he hasn’t turned that phone on at all which is weird

you could send a closure email
keep it pithy but call him on being a total hypocrite

sorry I’m really over invested here 🙈

ok… Mr O knows I have to cut short tomorrow’s cultural things because Mr Ex is taking me for dinner. His question “ do you need to go back home to change “. I said, of course as Mr Ex normally does posh places only . I can’t believe I am totally honest with MrO. And what’s more he’s ok with it . It’s just dinner though … I’m quite happy with my current set up. I have a 31 year old young man pestering me daily to meet me in person and an old friend that has fancied me for ages is trying his luck with me one more time… this is hilarious…
MrA is also asking how it went with Mr O and can we meet again for a coffee.
I am trying to keep my head together given the sudden surge of interest
I’m happy to get to know mr O better and see my Mr Ex . No space in my diary for MrA

If there is only 1 tick , does his image appear in his bubble as usual. If it’s only 1 tick and no image … he may have blocked you
im sorry
best way to check this. Ask a friend to send a message like “ where are the keys?” Or “ has Jason arrived” and see if the double tick appears grey or blue
IF IT DOES… you are blocked

Thanks @ButterflyOfShay i think i have been massively naive here…but you’re right i wouldn’t ever treat anyone like this.

@Thisisworsethananticpated @Mila14 His picture is still there. I tested the blocking feature with a friend as in she blocked me and i checked quick if her photo vanished and it did. I haven’t asked anyone to check and try sending a whatsapp to him. And thats why i thought maybe i text that number or whatsapp the other. But then thats headed down the road i don’t want to go down. I miss him! Can’t believe its come to this but at this stage if he wanted to be in touch he would be… @Mila14 you’re dating half the alphabet! 😂 Its sounds sooooo much fun! But happy to grab the popcorn and sit back and check in to see how all of this unfolds! 😌🤩

Naimee87

then you are not blocked
100%

it’s very odd and strange

joking aside maybe something happened to him

or he had two phones

can you get a mutal friend to check ? Sign of life and all that

Yes @Naimee87 … get a friend to send a message by “mistake”
you need to know if this phone works???

Mila14 you’re dating half the alphabet! 😂 Its sounds sooooo much fun! But happy to grab the popcorn and sit back and check in to see how all of this unfolds! 😌🤩

😂😂😂😂

you know how this is a Naimee maybe in 2 weeks I’m dating no one !!!

Mila14

gosh your dating buffet plate is FULL mama !

but if you are smiling and having fun …
yay

and you had a hot shag 😁

I’m really having fun Worsy, no shag tomorrow with MrO though as it’s lunch and cultural stuff we enjoy tomorrow. I’m seeing MrEx in the evening and I’m not going to shag him either.
It will be full teasing with MrO and just nice and lovely with MrEx
perhaps one guy can’t give me all I want right now ??
I just don’t want to overthink but both know I’m not into FWB relationships

So Che sera , sera …

Worsy remember I’m on the fence with MrO on account of his frequent bouts of grief
I tread carefully and he may not be suitable at all. Maybe next month I move to the next iron . I don’t really know
I keep Mr Ex though , he’s become like family and a close friend

I think I'd do this, then at least you'd know if it was a phone issue rather than anything else. What have you told friends and family?

And I'm in awe of you managing to split your time and emotions between Mr O and Mr Ex @Mila14. This is where I go wrong - well, one of the many areas I go wrong in - because I can't multi date at all.

@Naimee87
This one tick thing is so disquieting -we are all invested now. I dropped my phone in the sea on holiday and couldn’t contact anyone Andy when I got back a couple of friends were worried but knew they weren’t blocked because the photo thing still showed even though the messages were undelivered. If he has lost his phone and has no backup does he have some way of contacting you -eg via by email or mutual friend or actual home address?

Holy shit, how do you remember which one is which, most days I can hardly remember my own name… man of my age etc etc

@Kenny69 my thoughts too on @Mila14 i’m in awe and find it thrilling at least someones having fun and success on the apps. @JangolinaPitt @Daisysunset My best friend is back Friday(i sound about 12, not 35 😬) so maybe i’ll ask her to try send a whatsapp to his number. He has an email address for me but i’ve had nothing. And i have another whatsapp number from a year or so ago. That chats in my archive and the photo is still there.

@Kenny69 … it’s easy. I’m only starting to date MrO. The rest is fluff. Mr Ex is always there but I keep the sufficient distance ( no sex ). I think this is only temporal. In 2 weeks I might take a rest and not see anyone. I don’t want to plan right now

Daisysunset

me neither ! I like to get limerence and obsessed with one at a time 😂